Breaking Point
by misanthrope1
Summary: Warning: Mature, dark, dark themes. Slash, Rape. LONG. BJHawkeye pairing. I had Submitted this story before and am resubmitting it in chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_**BREAKING POINT**_

Nerves carry currents of feelings, pleasure and pain. Being a doctor gives one an appreciation of the complexity of the human body, how both strong and fragile it is. Bones flex before they break, veins pulse with blood, hearts throb. Skin and tissue rips with almost a scream or can tear silently. The human body can endure a lot before it collapses. And those limits are constantly being stretched.

98 hours. Hawkeye stared at Colonel Potter, shaking. "You have to let me go," he exclaimed. "Please, Colonel, we can't just sit here!"

"Damn it, Pierce, what do you want? I have MP's looking, chopper pilots looking, the whole area on alert! I can't risk you too!"

Hawkeye's fingers clenched. "I have to find him. Colonel...Sherman..please!"

Potter sighed. "Hawkeye, I understand you're worried. We all miss BJ. But I need you here!"

Hawkeye's eyes narrowed. Then he nodded and left. The bang of the office door told the Colonel exactly how Hawkeye felt. He walked to where Radar sat by the phone. "Any news, Radar?"

"No, sir. It's as if Captain Hunnicutt just vanished!"

Potter sighed. "Make sure Pierce doesn't wrangle a jeep from somewhere. I can't lose two surgeons. Get I Corp on the phone and the address and number for Hunnicutt's wife."

"Sir?" Radar stared at his commanding officer.

"He's been gone four days, son. We need to be prepared."

"But..." Radar gripped the phone tightly. "Sir, it's BJ..."

Potter squeezed his clerk's shoulder. "Just get it, son. And call Sidney. We're going to need him up here."

Hawkeye sat in the Mess Tent staring at his coffee. The smell of breakfast made his stomach churn. "Hawkeye?" a gentle voice queried.

He turned his head. "Hello, Margaret."

"May I join you?"

He shrugged. She sat across from him, squeezed his hand. "Hawkeye, I know you're worried. We all are. You need to sleep, to eat. The MPs will find him."

"Dead or alive?"

Margaret's lips twisted. "Hawkeye, please."

"Please what? Sit around and wait. That's all we are doing!"

"The Colonel ordered you to stay in camp."

"He told you?" She nodded. He stood up. "He broke orders to find us, Margaret. The least I can do is return the favor."

"You can't."

"He's my best friend! I'm not going to keep sitting here! Do you have any idea how cold it was last night?"

"BJ's tough."

A tall man with dark hair entered the tent, Radar beside him. They walked over to Hawkeye. "Captain Pierce, this is Captain Baker," Radar introduced. Hawkeye shook the man's hand.

"Hawkeye Pierce."

"Sean Baker."

"Captain Baker is our new surgeon," Radar explained.

Hawkeye stiffened. "What?!"

"A loan from Tokyo," Radar stammered. "He'll replace Captain Hunnicutt."

"Says who?"

"Hawkeye," Margaret hissed. She grabbed his arm.

"Don't shush me, Margaret. I'm Chief Surgeon and no one told me that we were getting help. BJ's not dead, damn it!" He slammed a hand on the table.

"We needed coverage," Margaret protested. "Just until BJ's back."

Hawkeye turned his gaze on the new surgeon. "Welcome to the 4077th, Captain Baker. I'm sure you'll love it here. Don't worry about making memories. After all, these people have none."

"Hawkeye!"

Hawkeye stalked off.

He looked around the motor pool and rubbed his eyes. "Rizzo!"

"You bellowed, Captain?" Rizzo shifted his unlit cigar to the corner of his mouth.

"I need a jeep."

"No can do, Captain."

"Why not?" Hawkeye spat.

Rizzo spread his hands helplessly. "Don't yell at me, Captain. Colonel Potter gave me strict orders. No vehicles for you."

"Why not?"

"You're restricted to camp, sir."

"I need a jeep!" Hawkeye stepped closer.

"No, sir. The Colonel will have my tail."

"I'll have your heart. Get me a jeep!"

Rizzo shook his head. "No, sir, Threaten me all you want but no jeeps."

Hawkeye swore and spun on his heel. He stomped to the Swamp and grabbed a few items to stuff into a duffle. Water, blanket. Charles watched curiously. "I'll regret this but what are you doing, Pierce?"

"Going hunting."

"What?"

"I'm going to find BJ."

"The Colonel restricted you to camp."

"So?" Hawkeye grabbed his medical bag and shoved it in the duffle.

"Pierce, I know you're worried but this is insane even for you."

"Why is this insane?"

"Potter said no."

Hawkeye slung the bag over his shoulder. "I don't hear so well."

"Hawkeye, I know you and Hunnicutt were close..."

"Don't bury him yet, Charles."

Hawkeye headed out the door.

--------

Hawkeye knew the general direction of the 8055th. He started walking. He'd just reached the outskirts of camp when Potter and Radar caught up with him. "Don't, son," Potter said.

"I have to. You can take away the jeeps but you can't take away my feet."

"Pierce, I order you to stay in camp."

Hawkeye whirled, eyes blazing. "I'm going to save BJ! I know no one else may give a damn but I'm going to find my friend."

"Sir, there are snipers!" Radar blurted.

"Then I'll die trying! He broke orders for me."

"I need surgeons," Potter exclaimed. "I already lost Hunnicutt!"

"But you have Baker! He'll do fine." Hawkeye's eyes glittered. "After all, we're all replaceable, right, Colonel? Why look for the old when you can just get a new one?"

Potter inhaled. "That's not fair," he softly said. "It's my job to keep this place running. In two hours, wounded will be coming in. They'll need you."

"Make them wait." Hawkeye rubbed his eyes. "After all, that's what the Army does, isn't it? I have to go, Colonel."

"People will die without you," Potter stated desperately.

"And? People die with or without me."

"A lot more will die without you." Potter stepped closer. "Hawkeye, we need you."

"Please," Radar added.

Hawkeye stared at them, lips thin and eyes sunken. Potter saw him tremble in the sudden wind. "And BJ?"

"Hawkeye, you don't even know where BJ is or if he's alive. Those kids are coming and they need you. You know they'll be right here."

"And they'll keep coming." Hawkeye shivered.

"I promise you, Hawkeye, help me with this batch and I'll give you a jeep, medical supplies, and permission to look for BJ to your heart's content."

Hawkeye blinked. He rubbed his eyes again. "You promise?" he asked softly.

"Promise."

---------------------------


	2. Chapter 2

Seven hours. Hawkeye slowly stripped off his scrubs. Baker glanced at him with red rimmed eyes and smelled of sweat and fear. "You did OK," Hawkeye quietly said.

"Is it always this hectic?"

"This was a walk in the park." Hawkeye stretched. "Klinger!"

"Yes, Captain Pierce?"

"I need a jeep."

"Ah, sir, shouldn't you eat and sleep? You look like hell."

"Just get the jeep." Hawkeye slowly pulled on his fatigues. "I'll be back."

Potter nodded to Klinger. Hawkeye practically fell into the jeep. Radar touched his shoulder. "I'll drive, sir."

"No."

"Come on, sir. The Colonel said I could help. And I miss BJ, too."

Hawkeye nodded and moved over.

He jerked awake when the jeep stopped. "What?"

"Hawkeye, you're exhausted. I looked around for over two hours. It's dark now. We'll start again in the morning."

"BJ needs me."

"In the morning, sir."

Hawkeye staggered to his bed. There he curled into a ball and wept.

Shadows shifted, moved in and out of the door. Then, later, a shadow bent beside him, blowing out the candle he'd kept burning for BJ. "Don't!" Hawkeye yelled.

"It's me, Hawk."

That voice could have raised Hawkeye from the dead. BJ stood over him, smelling of shampoo and soap. Hawkeye lunged up and grabbed BJ's shoulders. He broke off at a choked cry. "Ribs," BJ whispered. "But I'm damn glad to see you, too."

Hawkeye carefully hugged him. BJ pulled him tight. Underneath Hawkeye's hands, he felt BJ shaking, leaning against him. Hurriedly he eased BJ down onto the cot beside him, swallowing the lump in his throat. BJ continued to shake, shivering under his hands. "God, you're in shock!"

"No, just cold and tired." BJ trembled even more. "I just need sleep."

"What is going on?" Charles turned on his lamp. "Heavens, man--Hunnicutt! You're back and you look terrible."

Hawkeye turned on his light and his heart sank. BJ's skin bore an ugly grey white cast and his eyes were sunken. A thick growth of stubble covered his face and he visibly trembled. Hawkeye wrapped his blanket around BJ's shoulders. BJ smiled weakly. "I just need to sleep."

"You look like hell. Come to OR, let me check you out."

"I'm fine. I just need to sleep." BJ staggered to his feet. Hawkeye jumped up and grabbed his arm. Carefully he guided BJ to his cot and eased him down. BJ gazed into his eyes. "Please, Hawkeye."

Hawkeye nodded. "Lay down," he ordered. He pulled off BJ's boots. "You showered?"  
"You and Charles were sleeping. Needed to be clean." BJ closed his eyes. Hawkeye tossed another blanket over BJ and sat beside him.

"The Colonel needs to be told," Winchester softly said.

"I know." Hawkeye watched BJ's sides rise and fall with short, choppy breaths.

Winchester sighed. "I'll tell him. Watch Hunnicutt."

"Thank you." Hawkeye pulled his blanket over his shoulders and tucked his pillow under his head. As Charles left, Hawkeye reached out and squeezed BJ's hand. BJ sleepily squeezed back. As BJ drifted off, Hawkeye huddled under his blanket and dozed off.

Charles returned with Potter. Hawkeye gestured to BJ. Potter touched BJ's shoulder and BJ jerked upright.

"Just me, son. You're a sight for sore eyes."

"Hello, Colonel." BJ blinked.

"I know you're exhausted but I need to be sure it was you. You look like hell but you're alive." Potter grinned and Hawkeye smiled. Potter looked like a Jack O Lantern, he was smiling so wide. "See me sometime after you wake up."

"Will do."

BJ sank back to his cot. As Potter left and Winchester returned to his cot, Hawkeye watched BJ. Finally he dozed off. He awoke some time later to the sound of faint rattling. He looked around. Charles asleep. BJ shuddering silently in his cot. Hawkeye bit his lip. BJ was shaking so hard, his cot rattled. Yet he made not a sound. "Hey, Beej," he whispered, touching his friend's shoulder.

BJ jerked his head, eyes fever bright. Then he exhaled. "Hawk."

Hawkeye crouched near him. "It's OK."

"Sorry. Go to sleep, Hawkeye." Hawkeye touched BJ's forehead. BJ wasn't feverish but was slightly sweaty. BJ smiled. "I'm all right." He winced as he shifted weight. "What time is it?  
Hawkeye glanced at his clock. "Seven in the morning."

BJ nodded and pushed himself to a sitting position. He slowly yanked off his socks and put on clean ones, wincing all the while. Then he tugged on his boots, softly cursing. Hawkeye stared at him. "What are you doing?" he hissed.

"I think it's called dressing. Hungry."

BJ stumbled out of the Swamp, Hawkeye behind him. As they walked, BJ limped, favoring his right leg. "What happened?"

"Rolled the jeep. Sore ribs, couple bruises. I'm fine, Hawk."

"I'll check you out."

"I'm fine." BJ glanced at his friend. "Really. I need sleep and food."

"Well, you might get one out of two," Hawkeye quipped. BJ smiled and opened the door. "I'll get you some breakfast. You grab a seat."

"Captain Hunnicutt!"

BJ grinned and waved to Igor. He sank onto a bench and rubbed his head. Hawkeye placed a tray in front of him and BJ began picking at his food. Hawkeye sat and watched. After about five minutes, BJ looked up at him. "Hawkeye, I'm fine."

"You've been gone five days!"

"I rolled the jeep, wandered around. I got back here as soon as I could."

Hawkeye's fingers clenched around his fork. BJ ate slowly. As the mess tent filled up, people thronged around the newly returned Captain. "BJ!" Margaret hugged him enthusiastically. BJ yelped and Hawkeye grabbed Margaret's arm.

"He's hurt, Margaret. Gentle."

"What's wrong?"

"I rolled a jeep. I'm just a little bruised."

"Have you been checked out?" Margaret looked at Hawkeye.

"He says he's fine." Hawkeye returned Margaret's look. "His doctor is on call."

"For the last time, I'm fine." BJ grabbed his coffee. "I'm glad to be back."

"Where have you been? Does the Colonel know?" Margaret demanded.

"Yes," Hawkeye replied as BJ looked puzzled. Hawkeye nodded. BJ grinned and resumed eating. Hawkeye felt BJ's leg press against him as they sat side by side. Occasional tremors ran through BJ's body.

"Captain Hunnicutt!" Radar raced over. "Where have you been? We thought you were dead!"

"I rolled the jeep and got lost. I'm all right."

Potter grasped BJ's shoulder. "In the daylight you look even worse, Hunnicutt." BJ grinned at the Colonel's smile. "Just have Radar fill out a report, tell him what happened."

"Sure," BJ agreed. Hawkeye stiffened as Captain Baker came over. BJ looked up.

"Captain Hunnicutt?" Captain Baker asked.

"Yes?"

"Captain Baker. I'm your replacement from Tokyo. I'm glad you're back. You're a hard act to follow."

"Replacement?!" BJ's voice rose. "I'm replaced?!"

Potter lifted a hand. "Easy, son. Captain Baker was a loan until you found your way home."

"You're still stuck here," Hawkeye added, not liking the rage he sensed building in BJ. BJ looked at him and slowly relaxed. He put down his fork and sipped his coffee.

"Sorry, Captain Baker. When are you heading back?"

"A few days," Potter interjected. "Why don't you grab some sleep, Hunnicutt?"

BJ eyed him coldly but nodded, limping back to the Swamp.

Over the next two days, Hawkeye vacillated between wanting to hold BJ tight and punching him hard. BJ's temper simmered constantly. He snappishly refused all offers of help and limped his way around Post Op and camp. If he wasn't working, he was drinking. At night was the worst. BJ slept little yet was quiet and considerate for his tent mates. Hawkeye, however, woke often to find BJ trembling violently as he lay in his cot. Worse than the shaking was that eerie silence. Hawkeye dragged himself to BJ's side and BJ clung to him, whispering his name almost as a mantra.

He found himself stroking BJ's hair. "Beej, it's all right," he whispered. BJ's eyes rolled and Hawkeye cringed to see shadows in those pale blue eyes, expressions he couldn't identify and had never seen before.

"Thank you." BJ leaned against Hawkeye. BJ smelled of soap and aftershave. Another change. BJ had shaved off his stubble and moustache. While Hawkeye preferred the clean shaven look, it did make him wonder. BJ inhaled. "Go back to sleep, Hawk. Sorry I woke you."

"You didn't." Hawkeye yawned. He crept back to his cot and fell asleep.

---------------


	3. Chapter 3

Radar worriedly approached the Swamp. He'd been leery about approaching BJ as the Captain's sudden unpredictability was frightening. Yet, he cautiously opened the door. "Captain Hunnicutt?"

BJ sat on his cot, winding a bandage around his right wrist. Clean gauze covered his left wrist. "What is it, Radar?"

"Are you all right, sir?"

"I'm fine. I'm just scratched." BJ taped his wrist quickly. "What do you want?"

"Ah, mail, sir." Radar nervously stepped into the tent. BJ nodded. "And, sir, I want to apologize."

BJ looked up. "For what?"  
"You--you went to the 8055th because of what I said." Radar swallowed hard, catching the odors of blood and sulfa powder. "Because I told you Hawkeye would be in trouble if he went."

"You haven't told anyone, have you?" BJ demanded.

"No, sir."

"Don't. It wasn't your fault, Radar."

"But..."

"I'd do it again. Things happen. I don't want you blaming yourself. Don't tell anyone because I don't want Hawkeye blaming himself, either. Just forget it, OK?"

"But..."

BJ's eyes softened and Radar saw the normal BJ again. "Radar, enough. I'm OK." BJ squeezed his shoulder. Radar relaxed slightly and smiled. "I have Post Op. Just toss my mail on the table." BJ tugged on a long sleeved shirt, a coat, and left, still limping.

Radar looked around the Swamp uneasily and placed BJ's mail on the still table. What he saw made him stare and hurry to the Mess Tent.

----------------

Hawkeye wondered if he'd ever finish his meal in peace. First Charles, ranting about BJ's drinking and general--Hawkeye hated to say it but it did fit--bitchiness. Then Margaret, all in a mad snit because BJ had snapped at Nurse Benson. He winced at Potter came storming in. "Pierce, what in Sam Hill is wrong with Hunnicutt?"

"Am I my doctor's keeper?" Hawkeye demanded. Then he looked into Potter's furious eyes. "What did he do, Colonel?"

"He just had a screaming fit with Captain Baker!"

"About what?"

"Private Jacobs." Potter sat down across from Hawkeye, next to Margaret.

Hawkeye crinkled his forehead. "BJ's belly patient? What about him?"

"Baker cleared him for evac. Hunnicutt found out and went off like a grenade."

"Not in Post Op!" Margaret exclaimed.

"No, he dragged him outside."  
Hawkeye wolfed down a mouthful. "Baker didn't ask BJ?"

Potter shook his head. "Baker made a mistake. He simply thought Jacobs was ready."

"That's BJ's call. I don't blame him for being angry."

"Angry, yes. Atomic, no!"

Hawkeye sighed. "Let me talk to him. Maybe he's hurting from his accident still."

"Haven't you checked him out yet?" Margaret drank her coffee.

"He keeps refusing. Says he's fine."

"Check him out, Pierce. Tell him it's an order. Either you or me."

"Thanks," Hawkeye sighed.

He stood up to leave and spotted Radar heading his way. He walked to the Corporal. "What is it, Radar? What did BJ do now?"

"You know, sir?"

"He's been making everyone angry. Why should you be an exception?"

"Oh, he's been fine to me. It's just---I took in his mail, sir, and he was bandaging his wrists."

"What?"

"He said he was scratched. But that's not the only thing. He's been seeing Choo Lin."

Hawkeye stopped in his tracks. "Choo Lin?" he blurted. "The--ah, the working girl?"

Radar nodded vigorously. "And today--I took in his mail and noticed he still has letters from his wife from when he was gone."

"So?"

"They were unopened, Hawkeye. BJ always reads his letters right away. Now he's acting like he doesn't even care."

Hawkeye shook his head. "Thanks, Radar, I'll take care of it."

He stalked to Post Op. BJ was talking quietly to one of his patients. Nurse Able watched from a distance. "Excuse me, Dr, Hunnicutt," Hawkeye airily said.

"What's up, Hawk?"

"I have a problem. Seems everyone in camp has elected me to find out just why you're being an absolute jackass."

BJ's head snapped to him. "What?!"

"I told them you were just pretending to be Charles."

BJ's eyes glittered. "And what do you think?"

"I think you need to meet me in OR. Time for a physical."

"No, Hawkeye. I'm fine!"

Hawkeye sighed. "Can we go outside please?"

BJ glared but followed him outside. Hawkeye turned to gaze in BJ's eyes. "I'm not any happier than you," he started. "But Potter ordered it. Me or him. And because I'm your doctor and best friend, I thought you'd rather have me."

"This is crazy!"

"I'm sure it is. But face it, Beej, you certainly haven't been yourself lately. You haven't been sleeping, you've been surly with everyone,"

"What, everyone else is allowed to have crappy days but me?" BJ stared at him. "Why aren't I allowed to be human?"

"You're allowed to be human, BJ, but this isn't you."

"How do you know? Hell, I don't even know me!"  
Hawkeye blinked. He shook his head. "Come on, Beej. Let's get this physical over."  
BJ rubbed his temples and reluctantly nodded.

In the examine room, BJ locked the doors. Hawkeye watched him. "On the table," he said. He checked BJ's eyes and temperature. "Your temperature is normal. Take off your shirt."

BJ slowly pulled off his long sleeved shirt and then his T-shirt. Hawkeye didn't miss BJ's wince or the faint inhalation as BJ peeled off his shirt. White tape wound around his ribs. Hawkeye quivered. "Oh, my God," he exclaimed. "What happened?" Lurid bruises covered BJ's back and upper arms. Hawkeye unwound the tape and shook his head. Dark red purple bruises on each side indicated broken ribs and he gingerly ran his fingers along BJ's back. BJ exhaled and quivered under Hawkeye's fingers. "Have you had an X ray?"

"No," BJ ground out. "I just wrapped my ribs. I can figure out cracked ribs without an X-ray."

"Why didn't you say so? God, BJ, you idiot!"

"Just finish it."

Hawkeye continued his examination after getting X-rays. He showed BJ the films. "Nice diagnosis. Three cracked ribs, Beej. One on the left, two on the right. What exactly did you hit?"

"I rolled onto rocks and brush. Stupid country is covered in thorns."

At the end of the physical, Hawkeye quietly walked around the table and looked into BJ's eyes. "What happened?" he softly said. BJ studied him, his eyes darkening with the shadows Hawkeye usually saw when BJ shuddered in his cot in that unnatural silence. "Beej, you're covered with bruises and scratches, you have three cracked ribs, you've torn a muscle in your leg, and your wrists are abraded. I'm not the head of the Mayo Clinic but this is not a jeep accident." BJ licked his lips nervously. "Those wrists--they're rope burns, aren't they?"

BJ sighed, a long, slow exhalation that rippled through his entire body. "Yes." He slowly stood up. "Let's go back to the Swamp."

"After I wrap you up. Have you been taking anything for pain?"

"Morphine. Once in a while."

"And booze." Hawkeye gently began wrapping BJ's ribs. He bandaged the broken ribs, wrapped the torn wrists, and rubbed liniment into the sore leg. He washed his hands as BJ dressed. "Come on, Beej."

They headed for the Swamp. BJ draped his arm over Hawkeye's shoulders as he limped along. Soon they were comfortably ensconced in the Swamp and BJ ran his fingers over his martini glass. "I was leaving the 8055th," he quietly started. "Just outside the camp, I spotted men beating a Korean girl. Soldiers. American soldiers. She was so young, Hawkeye, 13 at the oldest. I stopped them, helped her into the jeep, and treated her injuries. I dropped her off near her home and started back here. Then I ran into my--captors." He self consciously rubbed his wrists. "They were American, too. They wanted to know why I helped a Communist escape. And they decided to get information however they could. After four days, I got loose."  
Hawkeye raised his eyebrows. A sick, slow feeling filled his body. "BJ, you need to tell Potter."

"Tell him what? I got beat up?"

"Beej, you were tortured!"

"I got smacked around a little," BJ corrected.

"You have to tell someone."  
"I did. I told you." He smiled. "Hawk, I'm all right."

Hawkeye gazed at his friend and reached out to touch BJ's shoulder. BJ quivered under his touch and pressed against his fingers. "I need to tell Potter," Hawkeye softly said.

"Tell him my injuries but leave out the captors. Tell him it was a jeep accident."

"Why?"

BJ looked into his eyes. "I do have my pride, Hawk."

"This wasn't your fault."

"I know. I've played it over and over in my head. I couldn't have left her. I couldn't just stand aside."

"Of course not." Hawkeye squeezed BJ's shoulder. "Will you talk to Sidney?"  
BJ stiffened. "I like Sidney but he's Army."

"Army?"

"I can't be sent home, Hawk. I'm not crazy."  
"Listen to yourself, Beej, and tell me again that you're not crazy."  
"I just mean, I'm not crazy and I don't want to talk about this."

Hawkeye drew his fingers through his hair. "All right. I'll tell Potter your injuries and won't mention the people who tortured you. But you have to talk to Sidney." BJ bit his lip and slowly nodded. Then Hawkeye sat beside him and gently embraced his friend. BJ curled close and broke into slow, deep sobs.

Hawkeye held BJ tightly and rubbed his cheek against BJ's hair. The smell of shampoo and soap filled his nostrils and he rocked BJ slowly. "It's going to be OK," he whispered. BJ clung to him and Hawkeye felt tears soak into his shirt. Hawkeye held his friend until BJ wiped his eyes roughly and leaned back. Hawkeye felt his chest ache as he regarded BJ, a slow, sweet ache. "You need some sleep," he advised.

"I will."

"Those nightmares are eating you up."

"Who says I have nightmares?"

"Beej, you lie there and shudder all night long. Either you have nightmares or you're doing the shimmy."

BJ sighed and nodded, laying his head back on Hawk's shoulder. There he rested for a moment. Then he pulled away, looking sheepish. Hawkeye chuckled and stood up. "Rest," he ordered. "I'll be back later."

"All right, doctor."

"One thing I don't get," Hawkeye said. "Choo Lin."

BJ stiffened, eyes narrowed. "What about her?"  
"I'm sure you're not making hut calls. What are you doing?"

"That, Hawk, is none of your business."

"Yes it is. You stumbled once and were miserable for weeks. Now you're going to visit working girls?"

BJ sighed and looked at him, eyes clear. "Hawk, I haven't been unfaithful."

Hawkeye stared at him. "Then what is it?"

BJ squirmed and his cheeks reddened. "I wanted to see if she could help with a problem."

"A problem? What kind of problem?"

BJ reddened further. "Hawkeye, let it go."

Hawkeye cocked his head. "I don't understand."

"You're not supposed to," BJ growled. Hawkeye simply gazed at him until he sighed. "I was having a problem. I simply wanted to see if I could--react."

"React? Oh, OH!" Hawkeye's eyes widened. "Beej, it happens. I mean, come on, you're hurt, you're away from Peg..."

BJ held up a hand. "Enough, Hawkeye. I can take care of it."

"It may even be for the best," Hawkeye babbled. "I mean, you won't have to worry about being tempted."

"Hawkeye, god! Don't try to comfort me."

"Sorry." Hawkeye handed BJ his robe. "Go to sleep. And don't worry. At least the nurses are safe."

"It's not the nurses who were the temptation," BJ muttered as he settled down to sleep.

"What?" Hawkeye asked.

"Nothing," BJ lied.


	4. Chapter 4

BJ bit down on his lip as he dressed. Charles watched him with bright eyes. "Do you require assistance?"

"Not from you, Charles, thanks." BJ felt the pull of his broken ribs and bruises. "I'm fine."

"I have to admit, you impressed me, Hunnicutt. You still pulled your weight even though you were injured."

"Thanks." BJ fastened his belt.

"That doesn't excuse your constant night prowling! You woke me up again."  
"Sorry. I needed to visit the latrine. Next time I'll try to control my bladder."

"Do that." Winchester eyed him again. "At least you're keeping yourself clean."

"I always have." BJ inwardly twitched. True, he had been showering a lot lately. It helped relieve the feeling of the filth he always felt. He picked up his martini and swallowed quickly. Then he walked into the sunlight.

"Captain Hunnicutt?"

BJ turned and felt a scalpel to his spine. Colonel Potter walked his way with a tall, elegant woman. Honey blonde waved around her shoulders and dark hazel eyes regarded him with a light he recalled all too well. She picked her way towards him. Colonel Potter gestured. "Captain Hunnicutt, this is Lt. Colonel Wainwright of I Corp. Lt. Colonel, this is Captain Hunnicutt, one of our surgeons."

"A pleasure." She shook his hand and BJ felt her fingertips brush his wrist. A shudder ran up his spine.

"Lt. Colonel," he calmly said. He removed his hand and resisted rubbing his palm against his pant leg.

"I'm simply showing her the sights." Potter smiled.

"Why don't you join us, Doctor?" Wainwright asked sweetly.

"I'm sorry, I have patients in Post Op. Thank you, though." BJ stalked towards Post Op.

He busied himself with his patients. When he was through, he headed for the Mess Tent and looked for Hawkeye. Hawkeye tapped the bench next to him and BJ sat down. Hawkeye eyed him. "How are you?"

"Sore but all right." He ate slowly. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm still not used to you moustache-less."

BJ grinned. "I'll grow a handle bar moustache just for you. Hello, Margaret."

"Hello, Captains. You still look horrible, BJ." Margaret sat across from them. "Are you sure you're getting enough rest?"

"Yes." BJ poked his meat loaf cautiously.

"Have you met Lt. Colonel Wainwright?" Margaret queried.

"Who?" Hawkeye forked potatoes into his mouth.

"An inspector from I Corp," Charles' voice resounded. "I'm not surprised you haven't seen her, Pierce. She's intelligent, attractive, a woman of breeding. In other words, class."

"That must mean she isn't giving you a second glance," Hawkeye commented. "Have you seen her, Beej?"

"Yes," BJ said shortly.

"Is she gorgeous?"

"Typical," Margaret snorted. "All you men do is ask about her looks and not her mind."

"Relax, Margaret, I just want to know if she's attractive. How about it, bunkie?" He nudged BJ.

"I couldn't say." BJ pushed his tray aside and picked up his coffee.

"Come on, Hunnicutt. Surely even a bland bore like you can see how special the Lt. Colonel is. She's lithe, graceful, and beautiful."

"So's a coral snake."

Gazes all locked on BJ. He sipped his coffee and ignored their looks.

"Afternoon, gents. And ladies." Potter came over with Wainwright. BJ felt Hawkeye perk up and he ground his teeth_. God, Hawkeye, can't you see what she is? Look at her_!! "Lt. Colonel Wainwright. You've met Dr's. Hunnicutt and Winchester. Here are our Chief Surgeon and Head Nurse. Captain Hawkeye Pierce and Major Houlihan, this is Lt. Colonel Wainwright."

"Hey," Hawkeye purred. "I Corp sounds fascinating."

"It can be." Wainwright smiled.

"Well, Lt. Colonel, I unfortunately have to leave you. I do have other duties."

"No problem. Perhaps one of your doctors will show me around some more." She smiled at BJ who simply stared at his tray of food.

"I'd be honored," Winchester offered.

"I know all the best places here," Hawkeye said.

She smiled beatifically. "Thank you both. Perhaps Dr. Hunnicutt?  
BJ squeezed his coffee mug. "Sure," he brightly said. "Why not?" He stood up. "We can start with the camp dump." She trilled and took his arm as they left the Mess Tent. BJ escorted her towards the motor pool. When alone, he grabbed her arm. "What the hell are you doing here?" he spat.

"I just wanted to see if you got home safely. After all, you left in a hurry."

BJ shook with rage. The slender woman laid a graceful hand on his upper arm, the same spot where her boot had pressed deep. She squeezed the bruise firmly and BJ suppressed a wince. "Get out of here," he snarled. "You have one day."

Her long fingers caressed his chest, patted the scratches. "You act so strong."

He smiled sharply. "Is your partner still spitting blood?"

"You do pack a mean punch." Her fingers moved to his wrists, began digging into the tender flesh under the bandage. BJ stared at her, refused to show any reaction as he felt blood seeping under the bandage.   
"You leave," he quietly said. "Get out of here and don't touch anyone."

"You got your spine back in a hurry. Did you forget how much you screamed for me?"

"I didn't forget anything."

He left her there.


	5. Chapter 5

After several hours, BJ walked into the office. "Have you seen Hawkeye, Radar?"

"I think he's with Lt. Col. Wainwright, sir."

"What?!"

Radar jerked away. ""With Lt. Col. Wainwright. Is there a problem, sir?"

"Yes. I'll take care of it." BJ raced out the door. The faint odor of bleach filled his nose as he jogged past the laundry area, cleaning the scrubs and towels for OR. He tried to think where Hawkeye might be and his heart raced faster. Wainwright would eat Hawkeye. The genius surgeon had a delicate mental balance and BJ always tried to protect his best friend. The idea of that---being wrapping tentacles around Hawkeye made his stomach clench. He twisted around the supply tent and bolted forward as he spotted Hawkeye and Wainwright sitting in a jeep.

Hawkeye smiled at the lovely blonde and reached out to touch her. She smelled of perfume and civilization, nothing of death or blood. Her skin was soft and she licked her pink lips as she smiled at him. "I love blue eyed surgeons," she purred.

"How lucky that I have blue eyes," Hawkeye chuckled.

He saw BJ first and the fury emanating from his best friend made him gasp. BJ reached down and hauled Wainwright from the jeep. She squawked then strangely smiled. "What are you doing?" BJ thundered.

"BJ, stop!" Hawkeye bolted around the jeep.

"Shut up, Hawkeye." BJ's gaze didn't leave Wainwright. "I told you to touch no one! Especially not Hawkeye!"

Hawkeye was impressed by Erica's coolness, especially when facing a 6'4" madman. "Beej, what are you doing?" he demanded, grabbing BJ's arm.

"He doesn't know, does he?" Erica asked, smiling at BJ.

"Know what?" Hawkeye demanded.

"She's one of the reasons I got tied up coming home from the 8055th," BJ spat. His muscles twitched under Hawkeye's fingers.

Hawkeye jerked. "Erica?!" he blurted. He looked at the tall woman. She smiled and laid a hand on BJ's chest.

"Captain Hunnicutt and I do share a recent past." Her fingers traced a path down BJ's chest. "I am impressed, Dr. I didn't think you would tell anyone." Her fingers stroked down his arm and then squeezed his wrist. Hawkeye saw him shudder. "I wonder, Dr. Pierce, how much did he tell you?" Her eyes gleamed.

"Enough!" Hawkeye shoved the woman from BJ, stepped between them. "What kind of sick person are you?"

"He could have stopped it at any time. All we wanted was the girl's whereabouts." She smiled wider and Hawkeye saw something glitter in her eyes, something cold. "Your friend aided the enemy."

"She was a child," BJ growled.

"He's a doctor. And no matter what, it doesn't excuse torture!"

"Torture? Heavens, Dr. Pierce, that's a strong word. Besides, BJ didn't complain, did he?"

Hawkeye felt BJ stiffening and reached back to touch BJ's arm. "Go back to the Swamp, Beej."

"Not without you."

"I'll be right there." Hawkeye patted BJ's arm without taking his eyes off the woman in front of him. "Go on." BJ slowly walked off. Hawkeye glared at Wainwright. "Stay away from him," he said.

"Did he tell you what we did?" Wainwright smiled. "He thinks he's strong. Yet he screamed most satisfactorily."

"With what you did, Ghandi would scream. You belong with the Inquisition."

"Does he have nightmares?"

"Go to hell."

He spun on his heel and headed for the Swamp. BJ paced in front of the tent, limping heavily. Hawkeye ground his teeth. "Are you all right?" he asked. "Sorry, stupid question."

"Fine. My leg just hurts."

"Come on."

In the Swamp, BJ sank to his cot with a sigh. Hawkeye knelt in front of him, rolled up the pant leg despite BJ's protest. "It's swollen. You've been on it too much."

"It's fine."

"Just shut up and relax." Hawkeye grabbed liniment and sat next to him. BJ took the bottle and rubbed his leg. The sharp menthol smell filled the tent. "You need to tell Potter, Beej."

"She'll leave tomorrow."

"BJ..."

"Enough, Hawk."

Hawkeye gazed at his best friend and helplessly squeezed BJ's shoulder. BJ smiled and clapped his hand over Hawkeye's. "I'm all right," he insisted.

_You keep saying that. Yet I know you're not and I don't know how to heal these injuries. How can I remove what they put in you?_

He kept his hand on BJ until BJ fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

"Why are we stuck doing this?" Klinger adjusted his dress strap.

"The Colonel says we're to get the motor pool cleaned up," Radar stated. "For inspection by Lt. Col. Wainwright. You and me just have to make a list and move a few things."

"I don't think we--"

"Shhh..." Radar grabbed Klinger's arm and dragged the corporal back against one of the camp's trucks.

"You aren't supposed to be to be here, Flagg! Take your sadistic bitch and leave!"  
"Is that BJ?" Klinger whispered.

"Shh!"

BJ appeared, accompanied by Colonel Flagg. "Listen to me, you Commie crumb. You don't tell me anything!" Flagg poked BJ in the chest. "You are damn lucky you're still breathing. You and your Red friends! "

BJ whirled and grabbed Flagg by the shoulders. He slammed the colonel against the motor pool shed wall, so hard dust rattled down on both men. Flagg's hand shot out but BJ caught his wrist in his left hand and banged it against the wall, pinning it. Then he pressed his right forearm against Flagg's throat. Flagg's face began purpling as BJ leaned his greater weight into the wall. "Get this clear, Flagg. You leave Hawkeye, my family, and this camp alone or I will do things to you Dr. Mengele would be proud of!"

He stepped back and Flagg fell to his knees, gasping. BJ yanked him to his feet. "Don't touch me, you Lenin lover," Flagg wheezed. He shoved BJ away. "Just remember you were my dog not too long ago!"

"Maybe," BJ said. He stared at Flagg and Radar felt Klinger shiver beside him. "But the dog isn't tied up anymore."

He stalked off.

Flagg rubbed his throat and left the motor pool. Klinger and Radar exchanged glances. "What was that about?" Klinger asked.

"I don't know but I'm going to get Hawkeye. You follow BJ."  
"Are you kidding? Why do I have to follow the psychopath?"

"Because I know where Hawkeye is. Go!"

Klinger muttered and followed BJ.

The Captain hadn't gone far. He leaned against the supply tent, holding his right side. His skin bore a whitish tint and Klinger hurried to BJ's side. "Sir! Sir!"

"I'm all right, Klinger."

"If you don't mind me saying so, sir, you look like you went a few rounds with Joe Dempsey. Come on, I'll get you back the Swamp."

"Just let me breathe a little."

Klinger helped BJ back to the Swamp. BJ sank on his chair and rubbed his face. "Thanks, Klinger. I just need a minute before Post Op."

"Captain, you're in no shape..."

"I'm fine." BJ grabbed a glass and poured a drink. He swallowed quickly.

"Uh, huh." Klinger watched the Captain. BJ exhaled and leaned back. "I'll get Captain Pierce, sir."

"Why? Because my ribs hurt? I'm fine."

"BJ, you look like a ghost. And I should know, my house was haunted."

BJ smiled. The Swamp door flew open. "Beej?"

"Hawkeye! I thought you were on duty."

Klinger glanced at Radar who'd followed Hawkeye into the Swamp. Radar shrugged.Hawkeye leaned over BJ, ran a hand over his right side. BJ winced but said nothing. "You're damn lucky you haven't put your broken ribs through your lungs or heart," Hawkeye snapped. "Didn't I tell you to rest?!"

"They're cracked."

"Either you rest here or in Post Op." Hawkeye glowered at his bunkie. "I mean it, Beej. One or the other."

"Hawkeye, I'm---"

"Fine, yea, yea," Hawkeye interrupted.

"I have Post Op."

"Not tonight. You're in no shape for anything other than sleep."

"I'm tired of sleeping! And I'm not making every other surgeon carry my load."

"BJ, damn it!"

"Ah, sir, I could get Captain Baker back. And Dr. Freedman is due here any time." Radar swallowed as both Captains looked at him.

"Why is Sydney coming?"

"Poker," Hawkeye replied. "If you rest, maybe you can play, too."

"Don't bring Baker back," BJ snapped. Radar looked at Hawkeye.

"We'll make do, Radar. It's been quiet for awhile."

"Yes, sir."

"I'm going to shower then eat," BJ growled.

"Again?" Hawkeye eyed his friend. "You're going to grow gills."

"I'm dirty." Hawkeye shrugged. BJ glanced at Klinger. "Thanks, Klinger."

"Anytime, sir."

Radar and Klinger left. "Who'd have thought, Radar? Captain Hunnicutt never struck me as the violent type."

"What does Flagg have to do with it?" Radar asked.

"Maybe he and BJ got in a fight."

"Who's Dr. Mengele?"

"I don't know. Wasn't he some Nazi doctor?"

"I think so. Boy, I hope Doctor Freedman can help BJ. He's been awfully weird lately."

"His accident was only six days ago. Maybe he hit his head."

"I wonder..."

----------

BJ woke up, shivering. He heard the wind howling around the Swamp and he huddled under his blanket. He reached out and grabbed Peg's photo. He stared at it and then thrust it away violently. He could hear her speaking, smell her perfume, yet instead of comforting him, his stomach merely twisted. He exhaled slowly and strained his ears. Winchester snoring softly, Hawkeye breathing easily. He tried to sleep but his skin twitched and he soon found himself shaking.

Soft patter and hot hands, hands that almost seem scorching, touched his arm and shoulders. "Beej?"

Hawkeye smelled like faint, old blood and soap. Hawkeye awkwardly slid onto the narrow cot, wrapped his arms around BJ and BJ leaned on his friend. Part of him wanted to crawl inside Hawkeye and never leave. Hawkeye's fingers gently stroked his hair and parts of BJ unknotted.

There was so much he hadn't said, didn't dare tell anyone. Hawkeye tempted him to talk, made him quiver to unburden himself. Yet Hawkeye was already so damn anguished. He wouldn't, couldn't add to it. Reluctantly, BJ started to pull away, just like he'd always done. "It's all right," Hawkeye whispered. "I'm here, BJ."

"Hawkeye, go to sleep. I'll be fine."

Hawkeye pulled BJ closer. BJ rubbed his cheek along Hawkeye's shirt and gave up. He closed his eyes. As Hawkeye's fingers stroked his hair and neck, he felt warmer. Hawkeye stroked BJ's hair, wrapped around BJ like a lover. BJ snuggled close, his shivering stopped, and pulled Hawkeye tight. The rich autumn scent of Hawkeye filled his nostrils and he fell asleep.

Hawkeye felt a delicious languor fill him and he closed his eyes. Hawkeye woke several hours later. Darkness still filled the compound and he looked around. He was now on the inner curve of the spoon. BJ's arms still held him and BJ's breath ruffled his hair. Hawkeye slowly pulled out of the tight embrace, hearing BJ whimper softly as he left. He returned to his now cold cot and pulled the blankets to his chin.

He awoke an hour or so after dawn. BJ tossed and turned yet still slept. Charles was up, dressing slowly. "Nightmares again?" Charles asked quietly, nodding to BJ.

"Maybe. He's straining those ribs." Hawkeye dressed slowly.

"Am not," BJ mumbled. He blinked sleepily. "Are those choppers?"  
"Thunder," Hawkeye yawned. "Storm's coming."

BJ sat up, wincing. He moved stiffly but soon the tent mates were eating breakfast. "Morning, gents."

All three looked up at Colonel Potter. "Morning, Colonel. You look bright and chipper this morning," Hawkeye said.

"Doing all right. Better than I can say for Hunnicutt."

"I'm just sore," BJ said. "Bruises are healing, ribs still tender."

"And leg," Hawkeye added.

"Lay off, Hawk."

"In my office after breakfast, Hunnicutt."

"Why?" BJ blurted.

"Let's say we'll be discussing history and Dr. Mengele."

BJ sighed and Hawkeye and Charles stared. "It was a comment," BJ said.

"Mengele?!" Hawkeye blurted.

"And Lt. Col. Wainwright is leaving a few days early. You certainly didn't act too welcoming."

"Sorry. I thought I was on the welcoming committee next month." BJ sprinkled pepper on his powdered eggs.

"I'm not laughing, Hunnicutt."

BJ lifted his head and Hawkeye squeezed his knee, not liking the angry glitter in those sky blue eyes. BJ dropped his gaze again and stirred his eggs. "I'll be there after breakfast."

"Mengele?" Charles asked as Potter left to get a tray of food.

"Not your business, Charles."

"Using that name, Hunnicutt..."

"Shut. Up. You weren't there. You don't know what I was talking about."

"Beej, come on." Hawkeye pressed his arm.

"Hawkeye, it was...Never mind." BJ stood and walked off. Hawkeye swore and followed him. BJ stood at the edge of camp watching the sky darken to purple black as the storm neared. Wind whipped around him, dust blowing into small dust devils at his feet. Hawkeye walked up beside him.

"I used to love storms," BJ softly said without looking at him. "Watching lightning, hearing the thunder. Now all I can think of is there some platoon fighting in the rain? Is that thunder or choppers?"

"This place does that."

BJ nodded, watched lightning split the sky. Fat drops of rain splattered the dust. Hawkeye started to speak, stopped, and shifted weight restlessly. The smell of the storm eddied around them and the drops came faster. BJ lifted his face, closed his eyes and let the rain pour down. Hawkeye reached out his hand, grasped BJ's elbow. BJ turned his head, rain streaming over his face. "Come on, Beej," Hawkeye said softly. He wondered if part of the water on BJ's face were actually tears.

They walked to Potter's office. By the time they reached it, they were soaked to the skin and Hawkeye's teeth chattered. "Get in here," Radar blurted. "Geez, sirs, you think you'd stay out of the rain!" He disappeared into the pre op and returned with towels. "The Colonel is waiting for you." He handed towels to each of them.

"Thank you, Radar. You'll be a great wife someday." Hawkeye wiped his face, wrapped a towel around his neck.

Radar rolled his eyes. "Cut it out, Hawkeye. Ah, sir." Hawkeye grinned and BJ chuckled softly, wiping his face. They walked into the Colonel's office. Potter looked up from his paperwork.

"I didn't say bring your sidekick, Hunnicutt."

"Hawkeye knows, Colonel."

"Knows what? Knows why you've been acting like a sore footed bear for the past week?"

"Is my work suffering?" BJ demanded. "Or my patients?"

"Calm down. I have no complaints about your work, just your attitude. You've been snapping and snarling at everyone since you had your accident. And then Radar tells me you and Flagg got into a fight."

"Flagg?" Hawkeye exclaimed.

"Wainwright's partner," BJ said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" Potter demanded.

"My jeep accident wasn't really an accident." BJ calmly, dispassionately explained his story. He told of the girl and the soldiers, then of his capture. He didn't go into extreme details, just that he had been beat up somewhat. Potter's jaw clenched.

"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Tell you what? Our own troops beat me up? It happened. I just want to forget it, all right?"

"And how's that working?" Potter asked.

"I'm just bruised."

"Sidney will be here today. You talk to him." Potter's eyes widened as his doors opened. "Flagg!"

Hawkeye whirled while BJ stiffened and slowly turned. "Hello, Colonel. Ah, the Commie and his comrades," Flagg sneered.

"You sadistic son of a bitch..."

"Pierce!" Potter snapped. "Out of here. You, too, Hunnicutt. I need to talk to Flagg."

"But..." Hawkeye started.

"Now, Pierce!"


	7. Chapter 7

They left the office, each watching Flagg. Radar handed Hawkeye an umbrella and the two doctors darted into the rain. BJ and Hawkeye hurried to the Swamp. BJ stripped off his soaked shirt and began drying off his. Hawkeye watched, noting the yellowing bruises. BJ pulled out dry clothes and dressed. Hawkeye followed suit. "Why didn't you tell me Flagg was involved?" he finally asked.

BJ shrugged, rubbing his left thumb over his right wrist and staring at his hands. As he kept repeating the action, Hawkeye reached out to grasp BJ's arm and the younger surgeon recoiled. "Hey, it's me," Hawkeye blurted. BJ licked his lips nervously. "There's a lot you aren't telling me, isn't there?"

The shadows that always seemed to lurk in BJ's eyes now flared to the front. "Hawkeye, I can't," he finally said.

"Why not? Beej, there's nothing you can't tell me. I mean, I already know your deep, dark secrets."

BJ looked at him and Hawkeye tried to read exactly what his face was saying. BJ rubbed his wrists and looked away. "Hawk, I got my pride ripped out of me," he softly said. "Please."

"Beej..."

"Last night was the first night I slept well. Thank you," BJ quietly added.

"You're welcome. Let's just not get caught. Blue is my eye color, not my discharge." The flinch was tiny, so small only someone who knew BJ intimately would catch it. "BJ, that was a joke." He studied BJ. "Beej? Damn, don't shut down on me!" He didn't know what was going on but he'd definitely struck an artery.

"I'm going for a walk."

"It's pouring out!"

"It'll cool me down."

"Wait a minute," Hawkeye desperately said. "What if Flagg's out there?"  
"What's he going to do to me, Hawk? Beat me?"

Hawkeye scrambled to his feet as BJ began to stand up. BJ stared at him as Hawkeye pressed him gently back into his chair. Hawkeye glanced around and grabbed BJ's chin. Gingerly he kissed BJ and watched BJ's eyes widen. When he pulled back, the taller doctor shook, ducked his head, and then looked up at Hawkeye.

"Why--why did you...?"

Hawkeye ran his fingers over BJ's cheek and BJ breathed in.

_Push-pull. It feels so good. Smell of wet leaves. Brilliant laughing blue eyes that burned and soothed. Images and feelings roiling together... _

"BJ," Hawkeye said. "Back to me."

BJ nodded. He poured a drink, hand shaking so gin slopped over the glass rim. Hawkeye gently took the gin bottle from BJ and finished pouring out two glasses. "Relax," Hawkeye ordered. "It's fine."

BJ laughed, a sharp bark. "Yea, just peachy. Beaten to a pulp, unable to react to a woman but the touch of my best friend cures any impotency." Hawkeye blinked and BJ winced. "Hawkeye, god, I'm sorry."

"BJ, I kissed you, remember?"

BJ's lips curled into a smile. "Damn it, Hawkeye. How do you do this to me?"

"Drive you crazy?"

BJ chuckled. "That, too."

Hawkeye laughed and BJ finally joined in. When Sidney entered the tent a few minutes later, they were still laughing

------------------------

Hawkeye walked past the VIP tent and longed to eavesdrop. The kiss he'd given BJ kept running through his mind. As well as what BJ had said. _Beaten to a pulp, unable to react to a woman but the touch of my best friend cures any impotency._

Since when? How long had BJ felt this way? And what about Peg? Hawkeye thoughtfully walked through camp. He'd read the Kinsey report, was rather interested to discover how many men had same sex affairs. He himself had participated in a few. He knew it was abnormal yet he never could feel bad or wrong about his caring for men as well as women. The Kinsey report had given him more comfort than he'd dreamed. He loved Caryle, loved women yet he loved men, too. He'd loved Trapper and their affair helped keep him sane. BJ had been a private fantasy for some time now. Had the 'happily married' man been fantasizing too? Why else had BJ said what he'd said? And impotent except for him? That didn't bode well for BJ's marriage...

To take his mind off BJ and sexual fantasies, he mentally reviewed BJ's medical condition. The ribs were still incredibly sore, the bruises and scratches fading. BJ's leg was very tender but healing as well. Hawkeye pursed his lips and went to talk to Radar and Klinger to try to guess what BJ hadn't told him. He pulled the two to the supply tent. "What exactly happened?"

The corporals told their recollections. Hawkeye listened with an ever growing coldness. "Mengele," he murmured.

"Wasn't he a Nazi doctor?" Klinger asked.

"Doctor's a loose term," Hawkeye said. "Mengele tortured and murdered people."

"Is that what BJ was threatening?" Radar asked. "Because he seemed really---different. He tossed Flagg against the motor pool wall."

"I'm surprised Flagg didn't hit him," Klinger said. "I mean, BJ's really not a tough guy."

"I don't know, Klinger. He seemed tough enough there."

"Flagg did call him a dog."

"He what?" Hawkeye snapped. "Tell me exactly what Flagg said."

Klinger nodded and inhaled. "After half choking Flagg by placing his arm on Flagg's throat, Flagg fell to the ground. BJ yanked him to his feet. And Flagg pushed him away and said---" Klinger drew his eyebrows together to remember as exact as possible. "Flagg said 'Don't touch me, you Lenin lover. Just remember you were my dog not too long ago!' And BJ said 'Maybe but the dog isn't tied up anymore.' I don't get that, sir."

"Maybe Colonel Flagg has a dog," Radar suggested.

"Maybe," Hawkeye mumbled through cold lips. "Thanks, guys."

"Why do you want to know this sir?" Klinger asked.

"I'm just trying to help BJ. Thanks again."

_You were my dog not too long ago..._

_Maybe but the dog isn't tied up anymore..._

Hawkeye hoped Sidney was making progress.

-------------------------------------------

"Sidney!" Hawkeye pounced on his friend. "How's BJ?"

"Let me get my coffee, Hawkeye," Sidney laughed, getting his tray.

"What'd he say?"

"You know I can't tell you that," Sidney said. "I can tell you what I told Sherman. He'll be fine."

Hawkeye let loose the breath he didn't know he'd held. "Thanks, Sidney."

"Actually, I hope poker will make it worth my while because the mental work here certainly won't. The 4077th is crazy but not insane."

"Maybe you can treat Charles. Analyzing him should take you years."

Sidney smiled. "I'm not that desperate for work."

"Speak of the devil..." Hawkeye rolled his eyes as Charles entered the Mess Tent.

He left Sidney talking to Mulcahy and walked to the Swamp. BJ read in his chair and Hawkeye smiled. "Thought you had Post Op," BJ said.

"Potter's there now. Tonight it's Charles' turn and you and I can sleep."

"Don't forget Sidney." BJ flipped a page.

"What are you reading?"

"Medical journal."

"Psychiatric journals, Beej?"

"Sidney lent them to me. It's fascinating."

"How are your ribs?"

BJ shrugged. "Little sore."

"Let me see."

"Hawk..."

"Come on, Beej."

"I guess we could to go Pre OP. We should rewrap them."

In Pre Op, Hawkeye reexamined the broken ribs and nodded. "Looks better," he said. He checked the fading bruises and scratches. He studied the scratches on BJ's chest and back, then, as if in a dream, reached and ran his fingers over BJ's back, tracing scratches. BJ stiffened and his muscles rippled, twitching like Sophie did when flies landed on her. Hawkeye spread his fingers, lining them up with the marks. "Don't!" BJ pulled away. "God, Hawkeye, don't!"

Hawkeye choked and fled out the door. Outside the hospital, he leaned against the wall and wept.

Warm arms wrapped around him. "It's all right, Hawkeye," BJ breathed into his ear. Hawkeye shook his head.

"You should have told me. I am so sorry..."  
"It wasn't your fault. I'll be fine."

Hawkeye felt BJ trembling and turned, wiping his eyes roughly. BJ wore only a thin scrub jacket and Hawkeye sighed. "You'll catch pneumonia," he stated. "Get inside."

"It's not that cold."

"Beej, get inside."

They returned inside. "BJ, I--"

BJ held up a hand. "Hawkeye, I'll be fine. I've, ah, done this before."

Hawkeye froze and BJ gazed at him calmly. "What?"

"It was a long time ago and I know how to recover. Just--look, just be my friend, all right? I'm still me." He smiled, a tiny smile. "You said there was nothing I couldn't tell you."

Hawkeye pulled BJ into a rough, tight embrace, careful not to press the broken ribs. The taller doctor leaned on him. Gently he stroked BJ's brown blond hair. When he let him go, he saw BJ's eyes were damp yet clear. "Come on," Hawkeye said. "Let's get those ribs wrapped."


	8. Chapter 8

It took wrangling but both BJ and Hawkeye got the afternoon off. They sat on the helipad, watching the clouds. "So what happened?" Hawkeye asked quietly, handing BJ a bottle. BJ took a drink. "Flagg and Wainwright first."

BJ sighed, swallowed another drink. "Flagg did the physical heavy damage. The man can punch. He cracked my ribs before I was tied down. Wainwright likes knives. And using her nails. She would ask a question, draw a line. Flagg would ask a question, another bruise. She could be kind, actually. That was what made her terrifying. What she'd do next, I never knew. She'd wash a cut, stroke my cheek. And then she'd step on my arm until it went numb."

Hawkeye listened, for once holding his tongue. As BJ described his torture, his eyes glazed as if looking at a movie. "Every scream, every sound made her happy. Gleeful, in fact. Flagg enjoyed touching me, running his fingers through the blood from scratches and cuts. And to press the bruises he made. The third day …Well, women can rape men, Hawkeye. Maybe not in the way men can but…"

Hawkeye gingerly wrapped an arm around BJ. The other man drank hurriedly, wiped his eyes with a sleeve. "Flagg," BJ whispered. "Sick bastard. He followed Wainwright's lead. The fucking blood and crying excited him. He keep calling me 'Puppy' and 'Bitch.' Wainwright smiled the whole time. She wore Peggy's perfume, Hawkeye, and whispered how much she and Flagg would like Peggy. And how much Flagg wanted you. I -went crazy after that. I don't remember much but I came to hours later."

"Me?" Hawkeye blurted.

"He has a personal hate for you, Hawk, you know that. Not as bad as the one he now has for me but he hates you. On the fourth day, I worked an arm free and sent Flagg flying. I untied myself, scrambled free and ran outside. It took me a long time but I found my way here." He glanced at his best friend. "So here I am. I knew you would harp on the physical exam and I couldn't let you know. Then Baker. Damn, this is my home, you're my family, and I'm replaced already?"

"It wasn't like that," Hawkeye said, heart aching.

"Did anyone look for me?"

"Just every chopper pilot, MP and farmer we could find. We tried, Beej."

"I know _you_ did. I heard about you walking out of the camp. You did the right thing, Hawk. Those boys needed you right then."

"Thank you," Hawkeye whispered.

BJ drank again. "The dark is the worst. I hear her voice, feel her fingers, taste Flagg. I know it'll fade but…" He shuddered violently and Hawkeye pulled him close.

"BJ, god, I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault. Besides, I've been leaning on you a lot."

"You should get a hardship discharge."

BJ yanked out of his arms. "Hell, no!" he snarled. "You think I'm _telling_ anyone this? Just you, Hawk, and just this once. I'm staying here. I am not going home!"

"All right, all right! It was just an idea!"

"You want me gone too?"

The tone of betrayal in BJ's voice was one Hawkeye would remember for the rest of his life. "No!" Hawkeye blurted. "You didn't-don't deserve this!" He gestured around the landscape.

"Maybe I do," BJ softly replied. "I seem to draw this kind of attention sometimes."

"Come again?"

"I told you I know how to recover." BJ stared into the sun.

"So it did happen before?" Hawkeye's fingers clenched.

"No one's family is perfect." BJ handed Hawkeye the bottle.

Hwkeye stared. "Are you kidding?" He brought the bottle to his lips and drank.

"I was 17, my cousins were 19. We got drunk and things happened." BJ still stared at the sky. "Tony and Tim. They were the same age, inseparable. People thought they were brothers. We were all cousins. We loved getting together. One weekend, they had a bottle of bourbon." BJ finally looked at Hawkeye, an odd twisted smile on his face. "We drove to a lake to go fishing, get drunk. That night we built a fire on the beach. They were both good looking, Anthony especially. He's around 6', slender, delicate features, large green eyes, and dark blond hair. He was what people called quite a lovely young man. Anyway, Tony and Tim started talking about girls. In detail." He took the bottle back from Hawkeye and finished it in one smooth swallow. "It was a thrill, I admit. I was 17, hadn't really done that much with a girl." BJ took a deep breath. Hawkeye dug out a second bottle and handed it to him. "Thanks. Anyway, I, ah,…" BJ colored a little.

"Got excited?" Hawkeye asked. BJ nodded with a look of relief.

"Leave it to Tony to notice. He started to tease me. I was drunk and got angry. And I made the comment at least I didn't look like a girl. And that's all it took. Tony went crazy and Tim went with it. Next thing I remember was being held down while Tony proved who the girl really was, as he so eloquently put it. I could barely walk the next day and Tony didn't say a word. Tim, at least, seemed sorry. On Sunday, we went home. I told my folks I fell and that's why I limped. No one ever knew but them, me, and now you. We never hung out after that and a few times, Tony would ask why not. I just told him I was busy studying."

"You never said _anything_? You didn't tell your parents, anyone?"

BJ tilted his head. "Hawk, my parents are just that-parents. We're not like your dad and you. We don't share our personal lives. Timothy died in WW II and Anthony was-is--my father's favorite relative." He smiled sharply, eyes as merciless as an icicle. "The son he never had."

"What?"

"Tony is very intelligent, very quick, very handsome. A ladies' man, much like my father. I'm not. My parents are married but my father is quite the favorite with many ladies."

"And your mother doesn't care?"

"My mother is an excellent doctor's wife. She is an incredible hostess and well respected." BJ shrugged. "They both are. Image is everything, Hawk."

"Wow." Hawkeye drank and handed BJ the bottle again. Now that he thought about it, BJ had never really spoken of his family, just of Peg and Erin and sometimes, rarely, his in laws. He studied BJ. "And Peg?"

"I've known Peg since we were seven. No, I never told her, either. She's my wife, my friend. She puts up with me. I'm not the best husband, certainly not the most--physical. She's never complained about that. I love her, hopelessly love her.

Yet, sometimes, Hawk, I swear, I love her as a friend. I love to cuddle her, love to hold her."

"But she doesn't rouse your passion?"

"Sure she does. Just---god, Hawkeye, it's--" BJ drank hurriedly.

"But you're passionate about me?!"

BJ sighed. "You. I've never met anyone like you. You're brilliant, infuriating, you drive me crazy. And I wouldn't make it without you."

Hawkeye mused that over thoughtfully. "You ever read the Kinsey report?"

"When it came out. It helped me. You?"

"You know me. Mention sex and I'm there."

"You never mentioned if you've, ah,..." Hawkeye grinned as BJ stammered.

"If I've ever conducted myself in an unmilitary manner?" he quipped.

"God." BJ took a long swallow. Hawkeye chortled and plucked the bottle from BJ. He drank and nodded.

"To answer your question, yes."

BJ eyed him and then shrugged. They sat silently, comfortably. Hawkeye finally broke the silence.

"I'm, ah, glad you didn't tell me earlier. Otherwise, Flagg would be a corpse. And Wainwright."

"It'll take time but I'll be all right."

"Beej, you're not just all right from this.

BJ sighed and an expression of pure vitriol entered his eyes. "I knew it. I knew if you knew, hell, anyone knew, they'd change. I'm still me, damn it!"

"Hey, hey, I understand that," Hawkeye sputtered. "It's just, I mean, you..." He grabbed BJ's hand. "Beej, I'm just angry and I feel helpless. This doesn't change what I feel for you!"

"What you feel for me?"

"I love, too, you idiot! I didn't expect you to be looking my way. When you were gone..." Hawkeye blinked rapidly. "We may not have a future but, Beej..." Hawkeye squeezed his hand. BJ smiled sadly.

"But Flagg and Wainwright ruined it, huh?"

"No. No! BJ, I want them **dead**. It doesn't change _you_."

"You really think so?" BJ's gaze was clear. "Can you be sure? Everyone else would see me different." A twisted smile. "Damaged goods, I think the term is."

"What are you talking about?! This wasn't your fault!"

BJ pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around his knees. Hawkeye pressed close. BJ ruffled Hawkeye's hair. "You know, this is supposed to be a sickness," Hawkeye idly commented.

"I know."

"Of course, this whole war is a sickness."

"True."

"Do you think Sidney knows?"

"Know what? About us?"

"That we enjoy close order drill."

BJ laughed. Hawkeye took advantage and kissed him slowly and deeply. BJ's pupils dilated. When they broke apart, BJ gasped and blinked. "Wow," he blurted.

"I know it'll take some time." Hawkeye phrased each word with the utmost care. "When you're ready, let me know."

"I'll whistle."

"And talk to Sidney."

"I'm not telling him everything, Hawk."

"So I'll be your shrink and your doctor. Think of the money I'll make."

"I'll return the favor." 


	9. Chapter 9

_**Breaking Point Chapter Nine**_

BJ gulped his bourbon. The Officer's Club smelled of smoke and whiskey and music blared. Hawkeye had Post Op and he'd strolled over to the Officer's Club to relieve some boredom and to stop worrying about Hawkeye. The senior surgeon had had a rough past few weeks. Actually, the whole camp had a hard time. This last month was brutal. BJ hoped this evening would be relaxing. Yet he now wished he'd stayed in the Swamp. Pamela Wren, one of the nurses, was celebrating her birthday and she watched him with coquettish eyes. A lump of ice formed in his stomach as she laid a hand on his arm. Nurse Wren had been flirting with him off and on for the past six weeks and he was starting to dread working with her. He'd explained he was married more than once but she just smiled.

"Dr.?"

He winced but turned with a smile. "Hello, Wren."

"Will you dance with me please? It is my birthday."

"I'm flattered but I'm not a very good dancer," BJ hedged

"Come on." She pulled lightly on his arm. He heard laughter and encouraging calls from the other nurses at a nearby table. "It's just a dance, BJ, not a date."

"I don't think..."

"Come on!" She dragged him to his feet and embraced him. He stiffened, a brief lash of terror ripping up his spine. Wren curled close to him, draping her arms around his neck. BJ smiled rigidly, feeling trapped. They moved together slowly. Wren's hips brushed his and BJ flinched. Wren laid her head on his neck and he inhaled sharply. He felt her smile against his shoulder and bit down on his lip. She smelled of flowery soap and shampoo. BJ felt his stomach twist and he listened for the music to end. Wren's heat pressed against him and he trembled. She snuggled close. BJ ground his teeth and as soon as the song ended, he hastily but gently untangled her arms from him. "Thank you for the dance," she said.

"Happy birthday," he said, stepping back.

She leaned forward, gripped his arms, and kissed him before he could pull away. Her lips moved against his and BJ jerked away. "Happy birthday," he repeated. She smiled and he stumbled out the door. He fumbled around the club until he reached the back of the building and vomited hard. He shuddered violently, pressed his head against the building.

"BJ?"

He slowly turned his head. Charles watched him with concerned eyes. "I'm all right," BJ said. "Too much bourbon."

"Nurse Wren appears to like you."  
"I'm married."

"Would you like some help?"

"I'm fine. But thank you." BJ straightened up. Charles watched BJ stumble off towards the Swamp and followed curiously. BJ grabbed his shaving kit and towel and headed for the shower.

---------------------

Hawkeye checked a patient and scribbled on the chart. Kellye stood beside him. "Let's keep an eye on him, Kellye," he said. "We'll call BJ if he gets worse."

"All right, Doctor."

"Speaking of which, I'm surprised we haven't seen him." He gestured to the small table they worked at. Kellye nodded and they walked over to the table.

"He's probably at the Officer's Club," Kellye said. "Nurse Wren's birthday party."

"Nurse Wren? Pamela Wren?" Hawkeye felt a thrill of terror. "She's, ah, awfully curious about BJ."

"She likes him."

"He's married."

"That doesn't stop anyone. Besides, BJ won't do anything. And Pam's only got two weeks left."

"Two weeks?"

Kellye blushed. "It's a little betting pool. Pam thought that BJ would cave and we gave her a month. We gave her longer because of his accident."

Hawkeye stared. "Am I hearing right? The nurses are betting BJ will slip?"

"It's been around forever." Kellye studied him. "Why are you upset?"

"You're betting on BJ's fidelity."

"Come on, Hawkeye. It's not like you and Trapper didn't bet on nurses. Who'd get who."

Hawkeye felt his face redden. He inhaled slowly. "You're right," he quietly said. "We did. It was wrong. But BJ's not Trapper. If you want to tease me that's one thing. BJ's different. He doesn't deserve that."

"He's not going to fall, Hawkeye. BJ doesn't slip up like that."

"He's only human. It's not right, Kellye. If he does screw up, which one of you nurses is going to put him back together? He feels guilty mentioning other women's _names_. Can you think what is going to happen if he strays? What kind of guilt trip he'll put himself through? What Trapper and I did was wrong but that doesn't make this right. BJ's never done anything to any of the nurses. "

Kellye looked away, biting her lip. "I guess you're right. It just seemed like a game, like you and Trapper played. Ginger and I have the no way option. Pam is sure he'll fall for her."

"Damn it," Hawkeye softly said.

"Pierce?"

Charles strolled in. "You're early," Hawkeye said. "Great. I can wow my audience before I go to sleep."

"I'm here only because it's better than listening to Hunnicutt retch."

Hawkeye clenched his pen like a sword. "BJ's sick?"

"If he'd stop imbibing like a skid row derelict, he wouldn't be." Charles looked around Post Op. "He was inhaling alcohol at the Officer's Club and being the man of the hour."

"Nurse Wren?"

"She is attracted to him for some reason. Perhaps Hunnicutt's insipid wit or his very banality draws her."

"Is he still there?"

"Alas, no. After a dance that proved Hunnicutt is graceless as well as witless, Wren kissed him and he bolted to go vomit. Very attractive to say the least."

"Hell," Hawkeye swore. "He danced with her?"

"No, he attempted to dance. He was heading for the shower, the last I saw. Probably to cool his libido."

Hawkeye ground his teeth as a wave of jealously overcame him. Then he thought further and he shuddered. If Wren was as assertive as he knew she could be, BJ would be most likely be panic-stricken. He'd have to be thinking of Wainwright. "Wait a minute, they kissed?"

"You didn't listen, Pierce. I said she kissed him. He jerked away like a schoolboy."

"Shit!"

Hawkeye shoved his clipboard at Charles. Then he raced towards the Swamp.

BJ's cot was empty. Hawkeye ran towards the shower and opened the door. Steam rolled out into the bitter night air. Hawkeye closed the door, peering through the humid air. "Beej?"

"Here, Hawk. I'm just rinsing off."

BJ stepped from the stall, rubbing at his skin with a towel. Hawkeye frowned. BJ's skin gleamed red, resembling a freshly skinned carcass. Or the steamed lobsters from Hawkeye's childhood. Hawkeye touched BJ's shoulder. "You look like a freshly scoured pot." BJ shrugged and rubbed his skin again. "Beej, you're clean, all right?"

"I don't feel clean." BJ toweled his hair and yanked on his underclothes. He dressed and pulled on his coat, shaking. Hawkeye laid a hand on BJ's shoulder. He felt awkward, the same strangeness he felt since he'd first found out about BJ's run in with Wainwright and Flagg. BJ glanced at him then bit his lip and looked away.

"Beej?"

"What?" It was a snarl, a growl.

"Hey, don't jump on me," Hawkeye defensively said.

"Sorry," BJ mumbled.

"What's this about?"

"You don't have to touch me if you don't want to," BJ snapped.

"What?!"

"Look, Hawk, ever since we talked you've been acting weird. I'm still me!"

Hawkeye flushed as BJ's comment echoed his thoughts. "That's not fair."

"Am I wrong?"

"I know I've been acting hesitant. I don't want you thinking I'm going to hurt you."

"I trust _you_, Hawkeye. You won't hurt me." BJ went to open the door. Hawkeye pushed it closed.

"Wait. About Wren," Hawkeye started.

"Please. I've been sick once already tonight."

Hawkeye hugged BJ tight and BJ pressed his face in Hawkeye's neck. He breathed in, long slow breaths. Hawkeye ruffled his wet hair and BJ shook under his fingers. Then BJ straightened and held open the door. They hurried to the Swamp. "I know Wren can be persuasive," Hawkeye stated as they shucked off coats.

"Hawkeye, do we have to talk about this?"

Hawkeye's chest ached as BJ looked at him with haunted eyes. "Come here." Hawkeye pulled BJ into his arms. They huddled together, drawing heat from each other. Hawkeye laid down and BJ wrapped around him. The cot groaned under their weight and Hawkeye fell asleep almost instantly.

He woke with the sun shining on his face. BJ dozed in a chair beside him and Charles snored. BJ yawned and smiled at him. "Want to grab breakfast?" he asked. "Or, barring that, go to the Mess Tent?"

"Sure. Don't you have duty?"

"Yeah, later this morning."

"All right."

They ate, Hawkeye sniffing the pancakes suspiciously. BJ left Hawkeye with a light squeeze on the shoulder. Hawkeye raced off to find Wren, slapping his arms to keep warm. She was inventorying supplies with Able. "Hi, Hawkeye." She smiled, green eyes gleaming.

"Ah, can I talk to you a minute?"

"Sure."

Outside the supply tent, Hawkeye looked deeply into Drew's eyes. "Stop. Stop your game with BJ."

"Hawkeye, I like BJ." Her breath steamed in the cold air. The bright, heatless sunlight glittered in her blondish hair.

"I know about the bet, all right? Just leave him alone. He doesn't need this."

"Come on, Hawkeye, I'm hardly hurting him."

"It's not right. He's married."

Wren chuckled. "Like that stopped any man." She crossed her arms.

"BJ's not any man. He's my friend. Lay off, Pam, he doesn't deserve this. He's not some toy for you to play with!"

"Or what? BJ's a big boy, Hawkeye."

"I don't get you. Here's a guy devoted to his wife like any woman would love her husband to be and you want him to fall?"

"I want him to loosen up a little, have some fun."

"And he's tried to tell you politely to bug off. Now let him alone or I'll talk to Houlihan!"

Wren stared at him. "Are you for real? You hit on every nurse here and you're going to go to Houlihan because I flirt with someone?"

"At least I know when to back off!"

Wren laughed. "You're kidding, right?" She stepped close to him, so close Hawkeye could smell her hair. "Well, don't worry." Her gloved fingers tangled with his dog tags. "I danced with BJ last night and you're right. He's certainly not interested in me."

"What?"

"I pressed against him. Trust me, Hawkeye, he's not interested." She pushed against him. "Not like you."

"Sorry, not this time." Hawkeye smiled at Wren.

She shrugged and stepped back. "His wife must be special." She walked back into the supply tent, hips swaying.

Hawkeye watched her and walked back to the Swamp. Charles nodded at him. "Your mail is there." Hawkeye grabbed the package and opened it. Medical journals fell in a pile onto his cot. "Light reading?" Charles inquired.

"Just checking up on a few things."

"Where's your sidekick?"

"Post Op." Hawkeye flopped on his cot and grabbed a journal. Soon he was deeply immersed in reading about trauma and its psychiatric effects.

---------


	10. Chapter 10

"Hawkeye!" Kellye called to Hawkeye as he headed across the compound.

"Yes?"

The Hawaiian nurse scurried to his side. "Did you tell Major Winchester about the bet?'

"No, why?'

Kellye bit her lip. "Because he talked to Able. He bet all the nurses that no one can win in ten days. If he wins, we each pay him $10.00 and if we win, whatever woman coaxes BJ into bed, wins $100.00."

"What? Is he crazy? You all told him to go to Hell, right?"

"For what's it worth, I refused to play. But, $100.00 Hawkeye? Come on. That's a lot of money."

"I'd sleep with BJ for that," Hawkeye joked. _ Money, hell, I'd just love to have him in my bed._ "I have to tell him, Kellye. He's got to know why everyone is hitting on him."

"Better hurry. Able was going to ask him to dinner."

Hawkeye hurried towards Post Op. BJ met him, stalking out the door, coat fluttering. "Beej!"  
BJ turned and visibly relaxed. "Hey, Hawk. What's going on?"

"We have to talk." Hawkeye grabbed his arm.

"Are we running away?"

"You may want to," Hawkeye said as he hustled BJ into the empty OR. "Look, um, I don't know how to, ah, tell you this but all the nurses are going to be flirting with you."

"What?" BJ's eyes widened.

"Charles, ah, made them a bet. The first woman who gets you into bed, ah, gets $100.00."

"What?!"  
Hawkeye hastily explained the bet and BJ's eyes narrowed slowly. "I'm a bet?"

"$100.00, Beej. That's not bad."

"I'm going to deck him."

"Calm down," Hawkeye advised. "Charles is just trying to aggravate you."

"And the nurses went for this?"

"Not all of them."

BJ began pacing. "Damn him! I'm not some booby prize! And I sure don't want the nurses driving me crazy. I'm not cheating on you!"

"Me?" Hawkeye blurted.

"I meant Peg. Peg and you. Oh, hell, Hawk, you know what I mean!"

Hawkeye pushed down tingles of pleasure. He batted his eyes at BJ teasingly and BJ laughed. Hawkeye grinned, thrilled to hear his best friend laugh again. BJ roughly embraced him and Hawkeye leaned against him. BJ snuggled him close, wrapping his arms around Hawkeye protectively.

Hawkeye rubbed against BJ, practically purring as BJ began rubbing his back. "God, that feels good," he sighed. BJ's hands slid under his shirt and continued rubbing. His fingers were magic, finding knots and untying them. Hawkeye arched against BJ. "Yessss..."

BJ chuckled and Hawkeye opened his eyes to find himself plastered against BJ, heat pooling in his groin. BJ winked and moved his hands slowly back to Hawkeye's shoulders. Hawkeye blushed, pulling his jacket tight around himself and wishing it was longer. Yet BJ didn't seem bothered; if anything, he seemed rather pleased. Hawkeye drew slowly away. BJ released him with a smirk.

"Come on," Hawkeye said, groin throbbing. He exhaled. "I can smelled dinner. It's liver."

"Maybe I'll skip dinner and go right for liquid refreshment."

"If we hurry, we can sit with Father Mulcahy. His presence should deter the nurses."

It didn't work. The fun and levity disappeared from BJ as soon as the first nurse touched BJ's shoulder. Ordinarily Hawkeye would have enjoyed watching his best friend squirm. Heck, usually BJ would have played along with the nurses and horsed around with the best of them. Tonight, however, with both the full moon and the wind rising, BJ stoically tolerated the teasing touches and playful nudges with a grimness he usually reserved for amputations. He didn't flinch, he didn't even fuss, he simply endured. And that passivity made Hawkeye's stomach twist, underscored no matter how normal BJ seemed, he still was different from before his run in with Flagg and Wainwright. As Lt. Lacey ran impish fingers over BJ's neck and whispered in his ear, Hawkeye dropped his gaze and saw BJ's fingers clench around his fork. The fork quivered faintly as fine trembling rocked BJ's hands. Hawkeye jerked up his head but Lacey was gone. Hawkeye glanced at Margaret. "Are you going to stop this?" he demanded.

"What?" Margaret asked.

"Your nurses' constant pawing."

"What are you talking about?" she demanded.

"It's OK, Hawk," BJ interjected. He pushed away his tray. "Don't worry."

"It's not all right," Hawkeye snapped.

"BJ is the man of the hour," Father Mulcahy stated.

"So why do you care, Pierce?" Margaret asked, sipping her coffee and smiling. "Are you upset because it's not you?" She laid a hand on BJ and her eyes widened. "BJ, are you cold? You're trembling."

"It's a little cold." BJ finished his coffee. "I better check on Walters again." He stood and hurried off, ignoring Hawkeye's call.

"Where's Hunnicutt going?" Charles asked as he sat down. "He's green to the gills."

"What do you care?" Hawkeye snapped. "This is all your fault. Call this damn bet off."

"What bet?" Margaret asked.

"Tell her, Chuckles. About how you're turning the nurses into a harem."

"That's your dream, not mine, Pierce."

"What bet?" Margaret demanded.

"Procurer Winchester decided to see if any of the nurses would care to play temptress for BJ. He bet them a tidy sum to see if they could charm BJ out of his skivvies," Hawkeye snarled.

"You what?" Margaret yelped.

"Please, Margaret, it's nothing. Your nurses already had the betting pool. I just embellished it."

"You're encouraging BJ to break his vows?" Father Mulcahy gasped. "Major, how could you?"

"It's nothing, Father. Hunnicutt is in no danger. He is completely besotted with his little wife back home."

"My nurses are not your concubines!" Margaret huffed. "You are disgusting!"

"They don't have to play, Margaret."

"It's hard enough for people here, Major. I'm sure BJ gets lonely just as we all do. And you see nothing wrong with betting on that?"

Charles munched thoughtfully. "Not really, Father. Hunnicutt is hardly one to notice women anyway."

"It's revolting," Margaret retorted.

"What's wrong with Hunnicutt now?" Potter snapped as he came into the Mess Tent.

"What?" Hawkeye asked.

"He's sick as a dog at the latrines. What kind of rotgut is he drinking?"

"Nothing! He just ate," Hawkeye said. Potter softened and nodded.

"That explains it. Has anyone seen Klinger?" Klinger had been company clerk for a total of six weeks and it had been difficult adjusting. Radar's leaving had been bittersweet and caused some nasty repercussions.

"I saw him about an hour or so ago at the laundry," Father Mulcahy said.

"I'm going to check on BJ." Hawkeye announced. He hurried outside. Moonlight splashed the camp and he searched for the younger surgeon. It took some time but he found his friend shivering by the mine field, watching the shadows grow and the clouds scud across the moon.

"Are you coming back to the camp?" Hawkeye said.

"Maybe. I might wander off and become a farmer."

"Nah. You hate getting up early."

"I would have fresh eggs."

"You could grow crops for us." BJ snorted but a grin crossed his face. Hawkeye draped an arm over BJ's shoulders. "Come on, Beej. Let's get some sleep."

"Hawkeye, I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"About the still. About hitting you..."

"BJ, enough! I know you didn't mean it! It's over. Let it go, all right?"

BJ nodded, eyes soft. They walked off towards the Swamp. BJ watched Hawkeye as they prepared for bed. The dark haired surgeon wearily stripped off his clothes and sank onto his cot. As he fell asleep, BJ quietly folded Hawkeye's clothes and picked up the medical journals. He placed the journals on the chair and pulled Hawkeye's blanket over the older man's shoulders. He made sure the tent flaps were tied down and placed Hawkeye's boots next to the stove. He carefully built up the fire in the stove and then placed another blanket over Hawkeye.

"Aren't you the little mother?"

"Be quiet, Charles," BJ hissed. He settled down in his cot.

"You're just rarely so maternal."

"He's exhausted. I'm his best friend. Now shut up and let him sleep."

BJ pulled his pillow tight against his chest. He listened as his tent mates slept. _How ironic. The one Swamprat who used to love to sleep now dreads going to bed. _He strained his ears. The compound was quiet except for the moaning wind. He closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. As sleep finally came, he curled into a fetal ball.

Hawkeye woke up, stretched. He was rather surprised that it felt late and he was warm. He muzzily yawned and looked around. "Beej?"

"He's in Post Op," came Charles' voice. "Where you should be, Pierce."

"All right, I'm going." He grabbed his clothes then blinked. He didn't remember folding his clothes nor placing clean socks on the top of the pile. He shrugged, dressed, and wiggled his toes in the warm boots. "It's warm in here."

"Hunnicutt played den mother last night. Folded your clothes, fed the stove, even tucked you in. I didn't know whether to sleep or get an insulin shot for all the sugar he spooned out."

"Maybe he's simply being considerate," Hawkeye shot back.

"He didn't fold my clothes."

"I thought you came with a maid."

Charles chuckled. "I should have."

Hawkeye pulled on his coat and headed to Post Op. Potter and BJ had their heads together over a patient, murmuring. "Good morning," Hawkeye cheerily greeted.

"The dead do live," BJ said. "Morning."

"Well, well, Pierce. Decided to show up, did you?"

"My clock didn't go off." Hawkeye stared at his bunkmate. "Strange, huh?"

BJ smiled innocently. "Things happen."

Potter shook his head. "Be glad Hunnicutt came in for you,"

Hawkeye narrowed his eyes and BJ smiled wider. "Oh, I'm very glad my bunkie is so considerate," Hawkeye said. "So what's up?"

"Jackson. Fever, uncomfortable..." As BJ spoke, he suddenly cocked his head. "Choppers." The medical team scrambled.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Breaking Point Chapter 11_**

"14 hours," Hawkeye groaned as he stripped off his scrubs.

"What time is it?" BJ yawned, slumping on the bench.

"About 1600 hours," Potter replied.

"1600 patients?" Hawkeye asked.

"Feels like it." Potter dumped his scrubs in a hamper. "Where's Winchester?"

"Here," Charles said, stalking into the room. "Hunnicutt, move over."

BJ cracked open an eye and lazily moved over an inch. Winchester glared and BJ closed his eye. "Lazy slug," Charles snarled.

"Enough, Winchester." Potter turned his head as Klinger came in. "What's going on Klinger?"

"Nurse Cratty called. Asked if we could help them out. Shelling again."

"Really," Charles said. "Why do we have to be the local charity hospital?"

"Stuff it. Tell her all right, Klinger."

"OK, sir."

Klinger nodded and left. BJ stood up, stripping off his scrubs. As he pulled on his jacket, Winchester grabbed his right arm. "Whatever happened to your wrist?" he demanded.

Hawkeye's heart clenched. The stark pink-white rope burn scar gleamed in the light. BJ jerked his arm free and pulled on his jacket hastily. "It's old," BJ snapped.

"You haven't noticed before?" Hawkeye asked. "And you call yourself a surgeon?"

"That scar is new, practically raw."

"I'm fine," BJ snapped. "I'm going to bed. You coming, Hawkeye?"

"Sure."

In the Swamp, BJ poured a drink and gulped it hurriedly. He poured one for Hawkeye and Hawkeye sipped it warily. "You need to sleep," Hawkeye recommended. BJ shrugged. "Beej, you can't stay awake forever."

"I know. Back to the nightmares."

"That's my province."

BJ gazed into Hawkeye's eyes. _Deep, brilliant blue, flicking through dreams and hopes. Elegant hands, fingers that enticed and teased. Warm, soft skin, scent of old gin and autumn. _BJ trembled, fighting bone deep desire. "Hawk, I'm sorry. I never should have involved you in this. What happened to me should have remained with me."

"Bull. You needed to talk."

"And you?You have dreams and nightmares enough. Some friend I am. "

Hawkeye mentally winced at the self loathing in BJ's voice. "Beej, it's all right."

"Sure it is. You can barely look at me, Charles is trying to whore me out, and I can't even sleep." He grabbed up his kit. "I'm going to take a shower."

"You can't scrub this away, Beej."

"I can sure try."

Hawkeye touched BJ's arm. BJ shuddered, dropped his head. "Let me help," Hawkeye whispered. BJ rested a hand over his, squeezed. Hawkeye reached out, lightly traced the rope burn with his other hand. Hairless, smooth, with an odd slick texture like all scars, it nonetheless pulsed under Hawkeye's fingers. BJ's breathing increased and Hawkeye turned his hand over to trace BJ's palm with gentle fingers.

BJ growled quietly, a low delicious sound that went directly to Hawkeye's groin. BJ's pupils dilated and Hawkeye squeezed his hand. Then he stepped back. "Get some sleep," he ordered thickly.

"Are you kidding?"

"Sleep. Cratty will be here and we'll need you."

"Where are you going?"

"I need a shower," Hawkeye said. "A nice, cold shower." BJ jerked and his surprise was clear. Hawkeye rolled his eyes. "Yeah," he replied to BJ's unanswered question. "I want you, too, you jackass."

----------------------

Charles woke. The inky night filled the Swamp and he listened. Pierce's deep breathing told him Hawkeye was asleep and he strained to hear Hunnicutt. He couldn't hear BJ's breathing. He sat up and listened. Carefully he turned on his light, trying to shield the light from hitting his colleagues. He looked around. BJ's open eyes glittered in the dark. Charles held his breath for a moment.

One heartbeat. Two. BJ turned his head just slightly and looked at Charles. A cold snake unfurled in Charles' stomach. Hunnicutt's blue eyes seemed black, flat in the night, his face strangely distorted and gleaming like the metal of a knife. Charles quickly turned off the light and tried to sleep.

Charles woke after nebulous dreams of blood and terror. He stretched and glanced around the tent. BJ's cot gaped emptily and Hawkeye yawned. "Good morning," Charles greeted.

"What's going on?" Hawkeye asked.

"That's what I'd like to know. What, pray tell, is going on with Hunnicutt?"

"What?"

"That scar is new, Pierce. And Hunnicutt has been somewhat different than his usual bland self. Since Hunnicutt speaks to no one but you, it is safe to assume you know what his problems are."

"Even if he had a problem, why do you care?"

"Please." Charles held up a hand. "Don't get the impression I care. I simply want to know why so I can mock him for it." He smiled.

Hawkeye sat up and grabbed his pants. "Leave him alone, Charles. You've already done enough damage."

"So there is something wrong?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Please, Pierce, stop this mummery. What the hell is wrong with him?" Charles stood up.

"Nothing, Charles. And even if there was, I wouldn't tell you."

"You sneaky, selfish..."

"Leave him alone, Charles."

Hawkeye stood up and Charles whirled. BJ padded in, placed himself between Hawkeye and Charles. Charles stepped back as Hunnicutt rolled his shoulders, an innocuous movement that carried an unspoken threat. "Hunnicutt. I was just checking on your health."

"Sure you are," BJ said coldly. "Like you give a damn about me other than as a poker chip."

"Beej, it's all right."

BJ didn't even look at Hawkeye. Charles backed another step. "Be rational, Hunnicutt. That scar is new. I want to know how you got it."

"Why do you care, Charles?"

Hawkeye grabbed BJ's shoulder as BJ started forward and the testosterone rose. "Enough."

"You needn't defend me, Pierce. I'm not afraid."

"Maybe you should be," Hawkeye said as BJ's muscles tensed. "You might want to leave, Charles."

"I'm not worried," Charles said. BJ glared then shrugged.

"Be glad I'm in a good mood, Charles." He walked to his footlocker, dumped his stuff in it.

"Yes, well," Charles said. Hawkeye sagged with relief. "Perhaps you're right. Why should I care?"

"So don't," BJ carelessly said, rummaging through his footlocker.

"I mean, far be it from me to actually to act like a doctor."

"Act is an appropriate term. Not like you're a real doctor."

"How dare you?!" Charles sputtered.

"I dare a lot." BJ smiled mirthlessly.

"You wouldn't even be an assistant at my operating table back home!"

"That's right, I wouldn't. I'd have my own table above yours!"

"Enough, you two! BJ, you know your ego can't compete with Charles'. It has its own zip code. Let's get breakfast." Hawkeye nudged BJ's shoulder.

"All right."

"Yes, leave," Charles snapped. "And next time, Pierce, leash your dog."

Hawkeye tackled BJ onto his cot, desperate to prevent a fistfight. BJ pushed against him once, stopped, and quietly said "Get off me, Hawk." His tone was mild. That very placidity was terrifying.

Hawkeye held BJ down. "Not until you've cooled off! Charles, leave!"

"Hawkeye, get off. Now."

"Trust me, Beej, you can't let go."

"What is going on in here?"

Potter gazed at his surgeons. Pierce had Hunnicutt pinned to his cot, literally sitting on him. Winchester was backed against his cot. Hawkeye clambered off BJ and pulled his friend to his feet.

"Well?" Potter demanded.

"Hunnicutt attacked me," Winchester stammered.

"I didn't touch you," BJ spat.

"You were going to."

"I was not," BJ stated. "Hawk overreacted."

"Enough! All of you get dressed and report to the Mess Tent. Cratty is coming and so is an inspector from I Corp next

week."

"Why?" Hawkeye demanded.

"She's just coming."

"She?" BJ blurted. "Don't tell me it's Wainwright!"

"Sorry, Hunnicutt."

"I thought she was banned from here!" Hawkeye snapped.

Potter shrugged. Winchester snorted. "Why ever would that lovely lady be banned?" he asked.

"Mess Tent," Potter ordered.

He left and Hawkeye darted after him. "Colonel, she can't come here," he sputtered. "You know what she did."

"Hunnicutt refused to press charges, Pierce. There is no reason she or Flagg can't return. I pulled some strings, have

the word out that I don't want them here, but I can't demand they stay away. This is Wainwright's jurisiticion."

"And what about BJ?"

Potter sighed. "He'll have to come to terms. He has to ignore her."

"Ignore her? She tortured him!"

"Tortured is a little strong isn't it?" Potter held open the Mess Tent door. "If it'll make you feel better, Pierce, I'll

make sure BJ doesn't have to deal with her."

"Thanks."

"Speaking of which, you might want to get him."

"Oh, God, I left him alone with Charles!"

"So?"

Hawkeye dashed towards the Swamp. BJ ambled his way and Hawkeye grabbed his arm. "Tell me you didn't hit

him!"

"I didn't hit him. I didn't hit anyone. Give me a little credit, Hawk."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Breaking Point Chapter 12**_

Hawkeye sighed, drew a breath. The smell of eggs and sausage filled the air. The commanding staff ate and asked questions while Potter updated them on what I Corp wanted. BJ tapped his toast, smeared jelly on it and fiddled with his food.

Mulcahy watched him. "Not hungry, BJ?"

"Not really." BJ nibbled his toast.

"You didn't eat last night either," Margaret said. "Are you still ill?"

"I'm fine."

"Well, I spoke to the nurses. That ridiculous contest is over."

"What contest?" Potter asked.

Winchester cleared his throat. "Just a little game," he carefully said.

"Major Winchester thought my nurses should be his harem," Margaret said, eyes flashing.

"Is this true, Winchester?"

"It was a game, sir. They had a little betting pool. I joined in. It was harmless fun."

"I'm sure BJ had fun," Hawkeye responded.

"What was this about?" Potter demanded.

"Charles thought it would be amusing to bet on my fidelity," BJ quietly explained. "The nurse who coaxed me would get $100.00."

"What?!" Potter exploded. "What are you thinking, Winchester?"

"$100.00," Klinger whistled. "Wow. No wonder all the nurses wanted you."

"Thanks." BJ gave a twisted smile.

"It was merely a game. Beej and I are chums." Winchester leaned over and clasped BJ's shoulder.

"Knock it off, Charles," BJ snapped, shaking out from under his hand. "Are we done, Colonel? I have patients to check on."

"Sure," Potter slowly said.

BJ stood and left, ignoring the rest of the staff. Potter shook his head. "He's been moodier than a sore toothed bear."

"Well, come on, Colonel. He hasn't seen Peg for a long time. And then all of our lovely nurses touching him and he can't touch back." Hawkeye bit into his toast. "Hey, we have guests."

A flurry of children entered the Mess Tent, accompanied by Nurse Cratty. "Meg!" Hawkeye called. The weatherbeaten nurse headed his way and Hawkeye hugged her.

"Hawkeye Pierce. I swear, you get younger every time I see you."

"How are you doing, Meg?"

"Fine. Hello, Colonel, Margaret. I'm sorry, we haven't met, Major."

"Major Winchester, ma'am." Charles shook her hand. "And these delightful urchins are yours?"

"Pretty much. BJ took two to stitch up."

"Bad?" Hawkeye asked.

"Not good."

"Pierce, check on Hunnicutt. Come on, people. Let's check these children out."

Hawkeye stepped into Pre Op, grinning as he heard BJ's voice chatting away. BJ stitched a young girl's leg, talking all the while. The girl watched him with wide eyes, laughing as BJ made funny faces. Another slightly older girl watched and giggled while fingering dirty bandages. Hawkeye smiled wider. "Want help?"

"Sure." BJ gestured him in.

They spent the day innoculating children, cleaning minor wounds and checking on their patients. Hawkeye watched BJ, watched the younger doctor cuddle children, stroke sleek black hair and sing songs to sleepy infants. As dark fell, Hawkeye grabbed Meg for a few minutes alone time.

"Meg, can we talk a minute?"

"Whatever you want, Hawkeye." They hurried through the cold night to a small corner of Rosie's bar.As they stared into their drinks, Hawkeye leaned forward.

"I have a friend," Hawkeye said. "A woman friend. She recently told me that she'd been attacked."

Nurse Cratty's eyes narrowed. "Attacked?" Hawkeye nodded, squirming. "American soldiers?"

"Yeah. She's, ah, American, too."

"Is she pregnant?"

"What? No, no."

"Thank God for small favors." Cratty rubbed her eyes.

"I want to help her but this is a little beyond me. I mean, how should I react? How does she become normal? What can I do?"

"Hawkeye, Hawkeye, slow down. First thing, realize I'm no expert on rape. But I have seen it a lot. Damn war."

She took a swallow. "Your friend, she tell anyone?"

"Only me. And only because we were close and I knew something was wrong. She said she couldn't tell anyone." Hawkeye gulped his drink. "It startled me. I mean, she's so normal..."

"Hawkeye, I've seen women that were raped go back to sleeping with their husbands and never tell them. Rape affects every person differently. The only thing I can tell you is most people do recover and have a decent, happy life. It doesn't have to destroy them. Many of the women I've seen just need some time."

"So what should I do?"

Cratty squeezed his hand. "Just treat her like you always have. Some women never recover but most do all right."

"She said she, ah, was raped before. About 11 years ago."

Crattyy shook her head. "Poor little thing. She must have had a tough life."

"She's not like the girls around here. I mean, she didn't grow up in a war or starve."

"I just mean to go through this once is horrible enough. Has she been acting normal?"

"She said she's been a lot angrier than before. Snappish."

"From what I've seen, that's not uncommon. They lash out at the world. Would you like me to talk to her, Hawkeye?"

"She's not with the unit," Hawkeye stammered. "I ran into her in Toyoko. We write. I just wanted to help her however I could."

"And you? How are you taking it?"

Hawkeye smiled sadly. "I'm angry. Angry at the people who did this, angry at her for blaming herself, angry at myself for expecting her to be normal when everything's changed. Angry that it's been two months and she's still not herself."

"She didn't catch any diseases, did she? She'll need to be tested for syphllis, VD."

Hawkeye's mouth opened. "I never..." he stammered.  
"Tell her to get a complete physical. Before she accidently passes anything on."

Hawkeye shuddered. "She's going to love hearing that." He squeezed Meg's hands. "Please don't tell anyone, Meg. I promised I wouldn't tell."

"Tell what?" Meg smiled, lines crinkling around her eyes.

Hawkeye smiled and lifted his glass in a toast.

-------------------

BJ lifted his head as Hawkeye came into the Swamp. He shivered next to the stove. "Hey," he greeted. "Where have you been?"

"I had to talk to Cratty." Hawkeye looked around. "Where's Charles?"

"Post Op." BJ poured him a drink. "We're all alone."

Hawkeye cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Maybe we can get frisky before Charles returns."

"Maybe," BJ chuckled. Hawkeye shivered. BJ tilted his head. "You OK?"

Hawkeye gulped his gin, feeling the raw liqour burn through his throat. "BJ, we need to go to Pre Op, pull some blood from you."

"Why? I'm fine." BJ grinned.

Hawkeye shuffled his feet. "We need to check for VD." He didn't look at his best friend.

Long, utter silence. "What?" BJ finally rasped.

Hawkeye dared to look at his friend. The younger doctor's eyes were wide and shocked in a pasty white face. BJ stumbled to Hawkeye's cot and sat down. "It's just a precaution," Hawkeye softly said. "Just to make sure." BJ stared at him. "When Flagg--" Hawkeye swallowed hard and continued. "Raped you, he could have passed on any disease he had. Or Wainwright." He sighed. "I don't imagine he used a condom." BJ shook his head, put his face in his hands.

"Raped," BJ whispered. Hawkeye sat beside him and ran his fingers over BJ's back. Meeting no resistance, he pulled BJ into his arms, continuing to rub his back. "How are we going to hide this?"

"Beej, I'll check the samples. And if you have something, I can treat it."

"I should just shoot myself now." BJ rubbed his eyes.

"Hey, hey, don't say that. You have your wife, your kid."

BJ looked at him. "And you?"

Hawkeye hugged him hard. "Yeah, you have me, too." BJ allowed a few tears to fall on his shirt. Then he straightened, struggled to pull away. Hawkeye held him until BJ went slack in his arms. "Sleep with me," Hawkeye said. "Tonight. You said Charles has Post Op." BJ looked at him, eyes dark. "Not sex, Beej." He rubbed BJ's neck. "Just--sleep with me."

"We can't get caught."

"We'll be careful." Hawkeye felt a slow thrill at BJ's capitulation. BJ stood up, tied their door closed, turned off the lights. "You're locking out Charles?"

"Just a warning." BJ eased down on the cot, wrapping his arms around Hawkeye. Hawkeye yawned. As BJ pulled him close, he fell asleep almost instantly, nightmares far away. BJ laid awake, arms tight around Hawkeye's lean body and watched over him protectively. He nuzzled his friend's neck, breathed Hawkeye's scent. As he listened to Hawkeye breathe, he kissed Hawkeye's neck, at the nape where the skin was as soft as a baby's and smelled only of Hawkeye. Here in the dark he could actually see easier, could face both reality and impossible dreams. "I love you, Hawk," he whispered. "No matter what, I love you."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Breaking Point Chapter 13**_

The sound of distant shelling woke Hawkeye. BJ felt him stir and squeezed him close, arm wrapped around Hawkeye's waist. "Beej?"

"I hear it." BJ reluctantly released him, got up and untied the door. "I hope the kids are ok."

Hawkeye yawned, stretched. "It's 4:00 am," he mumbled.

BJ walked to his cot and laid down. Hawkeye watched him for a few minutes until he drifted off. BJ smiled, cuddled his pillow and listened to the night. As the camp slowly began stirring, Charles returned. It was around 6:00 am and BJ watched Charles yank off his boots. Charles glanced his way. "Don't you ever sleep?" Charles snapped.

BJ snorted. "I do when someone doesn't stumble in making a racket," he softly said. He glanced at Hawkeye who still slept. The hotshot surgeon resembled a child, silver black hair splayed messily and fine boned hands clenching the blanket.

"Please spare me," Charles snorted.

BJ stood and gathered his shower items. He mutely left, pulling on his coat. In the shower, he scrubbed and tried to not think. VD. Rape. Impotency. Hawkeye. Peg. Funny, he tried to think of Peg, tried to excite himself, and his body shut down. Think of Hawkeye and he turned the water to cold as all his blood rushed south. As he shaved, Charles entered the shower. BJ nodded.

Charles allowed his gaze to flick over his bunkmate's torso as he started showering. Ribs clearly showed and a few thin scars creased BJ's chest .The scars were pink white, relatively new. Charles glanced at BJ's wrists and noted again the scar that completely encircled the right wrist. His gaze narrowed. A similar scar banded BJ's left wrist, darker pink and slightly indented. BJ rinsed his face, rubbed himself dry with a threadbare towel. Charles watched him dress and leave.

Charles showered and changed. As he strolled around the camp, he spotted Hunnicutt playing ball with several children despite the cold weather. He walked to Post Op where Hawkeye checked patients. "Pierce, I need your opinion please," he drawled.

Pierce nodded and came over. "What is it, Charles?"

"I have a patient recently in an accident. Cracked ribs, scars across his chest, weight loss, and both wrists abraded deep enough to scar."

Hawkeye's dark blue eyes flashed. "Really?" he calmly responded. "Sound likes your patient is healed."

"Let's cut the small talk. What happened to Hunnicutt?"

"He was in a jeep accident. He's healed. If you have other questions, ask BJ. Now if you excuse me, I have patients." Hawkeye stalked off.

Charles knew better than to talk to Hunnicutt. The sky eyed doctor would no more willingly reveal his injuries than he'd give up drinking. Instead he walked to the office. Klinger sat there, hastily scribbling out reports. "Hello, Max," he said.

"What's up Major? And make it fast, I'm drowning in paperwork."

"I need Hunnicutt's medical file."

"Why?"

"Checking up on his recent accident." Winchester opened the file cabinet. "Where is it, Klinger?"

"Does Dr. Hunnicutt know about this?"

"He's having a reaction."

"Is BJ all right?"

"I don't know. That's why I need the medical files." Charles flipped through the files. "Why in the world is H behind J?"

"It's a mistake. Get out of there, Major."

"It's not here," Winchester said. "There isn't a medical file here."

"Talk to Captain Pierce then. He's BJ's doctor." Klinger pulled the file from Charles' hands. "Hey, he graduated in the top ten percent of his class."

"It's California. A chimp would make the top ten percent."

"And you'd know, Charles." Hawkeye strolled in. "Klinger, where's the penicillin shipment we're expecting?"

"On its way, Captain."

"What are you doing with BJ's file?" Hawkeye snapped, yanking the file from Klinger.

"Major Winchester needed it. For BJ's reaction," Klinger explained.

"BJ's fine. Charles, what are you looking for?"

"You haven't updated Hunnicutt's file. There's no history of his accident."  
"And that's your concern why?" Hawkeye glared at Charles.

"Any competent physician updates his patient's medical files!"

"All right, you two," Potter said, coming into the office. "What's going on?'

"Winchester is rooting into BJ's medical file." Hawkeye glared at Charles.

"He has scars. I merely wished to ascertain his damage."

"Is Hunnicutt complaining?" Potter asked.

"Not exactly," Winchester hedged.

"Then Winchester, you have no business in Hunnicutt's file. Case dismissed."

"Colonel, he's scarred around both wrists! What jeep accident causes that?!"

"I've been over Hunnicutt's file. I'm satisfied. His file is closed, Winchester. Pierce sees it because he's Hunnicutt's doctor."

"And why is Pierce Hunnicutt's doctor?" Winchester blustered.

Potter sighed. "Because Hunnicutt chose him. And that's that. Now get back to work."

Charles stalked off. He watched BJ toss a ball to Hawkeye and the two walked off together, heads together. Hawkeye's arm was flung over BJ's shoulders. He envied the two their closeness. They were almost one being sometimes and Charles often wondered how they would fare after the war. Despite Hunnicutt's wife and child and Pierce's father, he didn't think these two would last long apart. He knew Pierce didn't know how much Hunnicutt relied on him nor how ornery Hunnicutt got when Pierce was chasing nurses. BJ had sulked in the Swamp frequently enough for Charles to recognize that BJ had a very large possessive streak, even about his best friend. Charles shook his head. Everyone saw Pierce as the erratic one of the pair, the manic jokester. Yet Hunnicutt had his own manic streak and it was usually about Pierce. Sometimes he wondered if they were more than friends but Pierce's skirt chasing and BJ's steady devotion to his family always dissuaded him.

Hawkeye rolled up BJ's sleeve. The lean muscle quivered under his fingertips and he drew blood, enough for two vials. "Have you had any symptoms?" he asked.

"No," BJ said. He sighed. "I never would have thought of VD."

"Meg Cratty mentioned it."

"You didn't tell her?" BJ blurted.

"Stop moving," Hawkeye ordered as he pressed a gauze pad over the needle hole. "I told her I had a woman friend who'd been attacked. She told me some things I should look for." He lightly pinched BJ's arm. "At least you can't get pregnant." BJ looked at him with such wide eyes Hawkeye had to laugh.

"Flagg's kid." BJ's shudder made Hawkeye laugh harder.

"Well, he'd be tall, handsome, and completely insane," Hawkeye said.

"I'd have your kid first," BJ snorted.

"Now that's a child anyone would love. My looks and your brains." Hawkeye patted BJ's arm. "All set, kemosabe. I'll check a sample and we'll send the other vial out today."

"Thanks, Hawk."

As Hawkeye ran a few tests, BJ puttered in the lab around him. "Oh, my God," Hawkeye exclaimed.

"What?!"

"You have such round blood cells!"

BJ snorted. "Come on, Hawk."

Hawkeye spun around in his chair, his face serious. "It's clean so far, Beej," he said. He tapped the centrifuge. "You are, however, anemic." He cocked his eyebrow.

BJ exhaled in relief. "Thanks, Hawkeye."

"Beej, that doesn't mean you're not infected. The lab results will be back in a week." Hawkeye frowned. "And your anemia concerns me."

"Hawkeye, I'm fine." BJ's grin made Hawkeye smile. "Let's grab a bite to eat."

"You got it."

Hawkeye smiled wider and they walked off. As BJ's eyes gleamed with life and renewed hope, Hawkeye was hit by a dread and blackness that cut deeper than a scalpel.

_What if Wainwright was pregnant?_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Breaking Point Chapter 14**_

BJ batted the balloon glove at Hawkeye. The brunette doctor lunged and slapped the balloon back. "Hey, Beej," he started, glad to keep warm somehow. Balloon volleyball was harder in heavier coats but it just made the game more challenging.

"Yes?"

"When you had your accident, BJ, did you actually have, ah, I mean, did you, ah, penetrate Wainwright?"

BJ frowned. "Why do we always talk about this? I said I'd tell you once." He swatted the balloon and Hawkeye dove to make an incredible save.

"I just wondered. Look, if you did, could she be pregnant?"

BJ fell off his cot. "WHAT?"

"I just meant..."

"I know what you meant. God, Hawkeye, thanks for another nightmare!" BJ shuddered.

"I'm sorry!"

BJ breathed out. "You've worried for a few days, haven't you? Since you took my blood and Cratty left." Hawkeye nodded. BJ frowned from his place on the floor. "Maybe. I remember almost everything but I don't want to."

"Almost?"

"I told you I blacked out for awhile. I know I was--used--during that time but I prefer to think I just passed out."

Hawkeye reached out and pulled BJ to his side. "How did you know they used you?" BJ merely snorted and_ looked _at him. Hawkeye nodded. "Sex with a comatose man. Why does the term necrophilia pop into mind?"

"Hawkeye, I mean it. I don't want to discuss this any more. Let's forget it, OK?"

"All right." Hawkeye grabbed the balloon. "Are we going to the movie tonight?"

"Is this a date?" BJ retorted.

"Whatever you want it to be," Hawkeye said. "And wear something flimsy."

BJ chortled. "I need to hit the showers before we go."

"Are you ever growing your moustache again?" Hawkeye asked.

"Why, do you miss it?"

"Just wondered why you shaved it off in the first place." Hawkeye regretted asking the question as all the animation drained from BJ's face.

BJ sighed. "She said she liked it," he quietly said.

Hawkeye stood up and grabbed his kit. "Let's go shower, Beej. Then we can freeze together."

They showered. As BJ shaved and Hawkeye rinsed, Potter stepped in. "Evening, gents."

"Hey, Colonel," BJ greeted.

"You two going to the movie?"

"We figured why not. We needed something to do with our popcorn." Hawkeye stepped from the shower.

"Wanted to let you know, I have a convention in Tokyo next week. As long as we don't have wounded, I'll go. Captain Baker is at the 8063rd if you need him."

"Why are you telling me?" Pierce demanded. "I don't want to be in charge again."

"And why Baker?" Hunnicutt blurted.

"Easy, boys," Potter said. "Winchester will be in charge. Pierce, if you need Baker, you call him. Hunnicutt, you watch that temper. Usually I'd be warning Winchester but you've been the hot head lately, especially about Baker."

"He messed with my patient." BJ's voice hummed with tension. "As I recall, Colonel, every doctor here gets upset with that. Why am I being singled out?"

"Simmer down. I'm just saying you were awful tough on him."

BJ scowled but nodded.

"What about Wainwright?" Hawkeye asked.

"Relax, Pierce. She should be gone before I leave. Hunnicutt, you stay away from her while she's here. You, too, Pierce. Just be civil and that's it."

Potter watched BJ and Hawkeye exchange glances. Then BJ shrugged and Hawkeye toweled his hair. "Well, Colonel, we'll be polite," Hawkeye sighed.

"And you, Hunnicutt?"

"You know me, Colonel. I'll just sit in the back of class and be quiet."

Potter nodded. "Uh huh. Just know the Headmaster is watching."

BJ nodded.

-------------------------------

Charles studied the swarthy clerk and tapped his pen on his chart. "Just repeat that one more time, Max. Hunnicutt attacked Colonel Flagg?"

"Attacked, no, sir. BJ pinned Flagg and then dropped him to his knees. And Flagg is now persona non grata."

"And Hunnicutt said the dog wasn't tied up anymore, did he? That's odd." Charles leaned against the office wall.

"Only after Flagg said BJ was his dog not too long ago." Klinger looked at a file on his desk. "Do you think Captain Hunnicutt would like represent the 4077th in a MASH boxing match?"

"Before this day, I'd say Hunnicutt doesn't have the stomach to fight anyone. But if he took out Flagg, he could be a contender."

"And we could make a fortune. BJ's a real dark horse--no one knows what he can do. I'd clean up!"

"Before you wager anything, Max, you might want to see if Hunnicutt's willing to do this."

"Captain Hunnicutt is a sucker for kids. I'll tell him it's for Nurse Cratty."

Winchester nodded, mind whirling. "Good luck with that." He walked to the Swamp, deep in thought.

Fact One: Hunnicutt bears numerous new scars, none that match up with a jeep accident.

Fact Two: The scars around his wrists are consistent with abrasions and they encircle each wrist completely.

Fact Three: Hunnicutt's even temper had turned erratic and secretive.

Fact Four: Flagg and Hunnicutt had fought and Hunnicutt had threatened Flagg.

The facts were adding up to an ugly sum. Winchester listened to Mozart as he thought, stoking the stove occasionally. (Why he had to do menial labor, he would never know.) The two degenerates stumbled into the Swamp much later, each reeking of alcohol and hanging on each other. "Heya, Chuckles," Hawkeye greeted. He fell onto his cot and Hunnicutt dropped into the chair next to him. "What's up?"

"Trying to think. It was easier before you two inebriates staggered here."

"I thought I smelled smoke," BJ quipped.

"Funny, Hunnicutt," Winchester commented. "I wonder if Colonel Flagg shares your sense of humor."

BJ stiffened and his eyes slit, became icy shards. "What are you talking about?" BJ demanded.

"Charles, stop it," Hawkeye said.

"I mean, I heard about your little run in with Flagg. I am surprised you aren't in jail. After all, threatening a superior officer and trying to choke him usually end one up in the stockade." Charles felt his lips pull into a smile.

"You've been talking to Klinger." BJ slowly pulled himself to his feet. An uncomfortable dread began to fill Charles.

"BJ, don't," Hawkeye warned.

"What did you do for Flagg to take an interest in _you_, Hunnicutt? You're hardly the Communist he usually hunts for."

"Charles, shut up," Hawkeye said, grabbing BJ's arm. "Beej, let it go. He doesn't know anything."

"I know Flagg showed Hunnicutt who was in control."

Hawkeye yanked BJ back. He stepped in front of Hunnicutt and stared into his eyes. Charles wished he could see Pierce's face. What he saw of Hunnicutt's was more than disturbing and he stepped back, regretting this conversation already. "BJ, he's an idiot," Hawkeye stated.

"I beg your pardon!" Charles huffed.

"Shut up, Winchester!" Pierce didn't even look at Charles. He never took his eyes off BJ. "BJ, he doesn't know, all right?"

"He knows enough." BJ's frozen tone made Charles' heart sink.

"All I'm saying, Hunnicutt, is Flagg showed incredible leniency in not placing you under arrest." Charles carefully poured a glass of cognac. "Unless he'd already gotten his pound of flesh."

"It wasn't quite a pound." BJ's eyes bore a sheen Charles didn't like in the slightest.

"So it was Flagg, not a jeep accident." Charles sat down, sipping his drink. "And I gather the wrist scars are rope burns?"

"That's none of your business." Hawkeye pressed BJ's chest with one hand and BJ slowly sat down. "Charles, let it go." He glanced over his shoulder at Charles and Charles had to look away from Hawkeye's anguished blue gaze.

"Your jeep accident was actually an interrogation session." Charles felt his stomach twist. "I am sorry."

"So now you know." BJ's voice hung in the air, so brittle Charles could almost see the words.

"BJ, I'm sorry. I did need to know."

"Fine." BJ grabbed a glass and poured a drink quickly. "No one finds out, Charles. And I don't want to talk about it."

"Just a few questions. Whatever did Flagg want with you?"

"I helped a Communist. So he says." BJ laid a hand on Hawkeye's arm. "I'm all right, Hawk."

"So why are you here Hunnicutt? Why haven't you charged Flagg? Any good lawyer would have Flagg in prison. Heavens, Erica would be happy to assist."

"Erica?" Pierce repeated.

"Wainwright?!" BJ bleated. "What the hell does Wainwright have to do with anything?"

"She is connected. She wrote just yesterday..."

"She writes you?!"

Charles blinked at Hawkeye's yell. "As if it's any business of yours, Pierce!"

"Damn it, Charles, she's Flagg's partner!"

"Nonsense! Erica is an elegant, intelligent woman who has been nothing but kindness itself to me. She's exciting, graceful,..."

"She's a cold blooded nutcase!" Hawkeye glared. "How long have you been involved with Eva Brun?"

"We've exchanged letters, Pierce, that's it!"

BJ turned that stony gaze on Charles. "Has she asked about me?"

"I'm sorry, Hunnicutt, neither you nor your clown partner are the topics of our letters!"

"Has she asked at all about me?!"

"She asked about the camp in general questions!"

"And of course you told her!" Hawkeye's voice got even louder. "Damn it, Charles!"

"Well maybe if you had told me about this, it wouldn't have happened!"

"Why would I tell you?" BJ spat.

"Why wouldn't you? You have no problem telling me all about the inanities of your little family in California!"

BJ jerked to his feet. "What are you talking about?"

"Your constant blathering! Everyone in the camp is perpetually being told about your offspring and her mindless antics until they want to run off and join the Chinese! Heavens, man, even Pierce winces when you mention their names!"

"Hey!" Hawkeye exclaimed.

"You natter on and on about them but you won't tell me about the possibly psychotic and sadistic tendencies of a woman whom I'm dating!"

"Don't blame me about your choice in women, pal!"

"Funny, I was going to say the same about you."

For the second time, Hawkeye grabbed BJ. He whispered in BJ's ear. BJ pushed him aside and grabbed his coat. "I'm going for a walk," he snarled. He banged the door as he left.

Hawkeye cursed. "Good work, Charles," he snapped.

"You should have told me, damn it!"

Hawkeye stared at Charles. "This is BJ's problem, not yours!"

"But you knew!"

"I'm his best friend and his doctor!"

"Why is he even here, Pierce? Why isn't he heading home on a hardship discharge?"

"Because he doesn't want one!"

Winchester started. "He is mad. Why would anyone choose to stay here?"

"Maybe because he doesn't want to tell people what happened." Hawkeye grabbed his coat. "He's finally getting back to normal and you have to rake it all over again."

"He's normal?"

"As normal as any of us can be. I'm going to find BJ. You just keep your mouth shut." Hawkeye stomped out the door.

Charles sank into his chair and put his head in his hands.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Breaking Point Chapter 15**_

Hawkeye shivered as he searched the camp. The biting wind drowned out any sound and he looked around frantically. He grabbed a jeep and drove to the helipad. There he found BJ, shuddering as he watched the camp. Hawkeye hopped out of the jeep. "Hey," he said.

"Hey."

"You coming back or do you just like freezing to death?"

"Better freezing than boring you to death,"

Hawkeye sighed. "Beej, it isn't like that." He sat next to BJ. "Sure you talk a lot about your family. We all do. Charles is just upset."

"I know." BJ wiped his eyes. "God, Hawkeye, he _dated_ her."

"He didn't know."

"And that's my fault, too."

"BJ, this was not your fault."

"I helped the girl."

"Anyone truly human would! Don't beat yourself up over doing a decent thing in this giant indecency!"

"No good deed goes unpunished."

"Don't be an ass!" Hawkeye yanked BJ to his feet. "What if it had been Erin? Wouldn't you want someone to help her?" BJ's jaw tightened. "Get angry, get pissed, I don't care but don't tear yourself apart because you're a good man."

"I'm not that good, Hawk."

"Better than most. Now come on, I'm freezing off vital parts of my anatomy."

BJ frowned. Hawkeye pointed and BJ reluctantly clambered inside the jeep. Hawkeye jumped into the driver's seat and headed to camp. He parked outside the Mess Tent. BJ looked at him. "Hawk, it's past midnight."

"It's empty. We can talk, have coffee, and not freeze."

"About what?"

"About anything."

They huddled together at a table, sipping hot but old coffee. "So?" Hawkeye asked.

"What?"

"What were you thinking about?"

BJ shrugged. "Erin. Love. Dating." He glanced sidelong at Hawkeye. "How many times have you fallen in love, Hawk?"

"Love? Like love love or just hi,whatcha doing love?"

"Love. As in forever. As in maybe I'll spend my life with this person if I can. Love."

Hawkeye nodded. "All right." He swung his legs and thought. BJ watched the tent warily. Hawkeye mused. Carlye. Trapper. A few others. He nodded. "All right, I'd say about five, six times."

"Five?!"

"So I'm fussy," Hawkeye said. "I know five isn't much. What about you?"

BJ bit his lip. "Twice," he quietly replied.

"Twice? That's it?!"

"Sorry. It was actually more like two and a half."

"A half?"

"I met someone when I was pre-med, my senior year. It--didn't last. But I could have fallen in love quite easily."

"What was her name?"

BJ gave a half smile. "Nigel."

Hawkeye stared. "Nigel?" He looked at BJ closely. "She must have been special with that name." He grinned.

"He was an exchange student from England." BJ sipped his coffee and made a face. "I'm making fresh coffee."

He stood and walked to the kitchen. Hawkeye followed and poked in the pantry while BJ made coffee.

"Hey, want some crackers?"

"Are they ok?"

"Taste like sawdust."

"Great, they're fresh." BJ plucked a cracker from Hawkeye's hand. "Nutritious."

"So, Nigel, huh?"

BJ nodded, an unfamiliar smile playing around his lips. "We were close for awhile."

Hawkeye fought a near violent surge of jealously. "So what happened?"

"We had a night. The next morning, I was told nothing would come from it and could I please leave?"

"Nice."

"How about you?"

"You know about Carlye." BJ nodded. "God, she tore me up. There was a young woman before her, another after her. Trapper." He paused as he spotted BJ's jaw clench. Inwardly pleased, he continued, watching BJ's eyes darken with each name. "That's it. Five potentials. But none like Carlye. Or Trap." BJ nodded, pouring coffee. He stared at the mugs and then handed Hawkeye one. "How about you? If Nigel was a half and Peg was one, who was the second?"

BJ smiled. "Someone who is very special but isn't aware."

"Give me a hint." Hawkeye stepped closer, listening as BJ's breathing increased.

"Dark hair, blue eyes."

"That leaves out Hot Lips."

BJ chuckled and he contemplated Hawkeye thoughtfully. "I seem to fall in love with very special people," he murmured. "And I do mean special."

Hawkeye's heart swelled and he leaned forward. BJ met him half way and their lips brushed.

Victim or no, BJ pressed against Hawkeye in a show of passion that had the older doctor reeling. He pulled BJ against him, buried his fingers in BJ's thick hair. BJ growled again, that low tone that made Hawkeye's pants tighten. When they finally broke for air, Hawkeye touched his lips to be sure they weren't swollen. "Damn, Beej," he whispered. BJ blinked at him dazedly, licked his lips and smiled. "Come on, BJ. Before I end up having _you_ for breakfast."

"Eggs and BJ. That's different."

"Tasty."

BJ finished his coffee and poured a fresh cup. They returned to their table, Hawkeye carrying crackers and some peanut butter he'd found. They ate companionably. "Anything else?" Hawkeye asked. "I mean, that you're worrying about?"

"Beside VD, impotency, and the possibility that Wainwright might be pregnant? Umm, that's about it. Oh, and Charles finding out that I was beaten up. Plus my patients, you,..."

"All right, I get it."

BJ rubbed his temples. "And if she's pregnant, God, Hawkeye. How would I ever know? Even if she told me, I could never believe her."

"You're O+, right?"

"Yes. Like so many other people. Face it, Hawk, I'd never know if a child is mine, only if I could possibly be the father."

"We're thinking too hard. It's a minor possibility that she could even be pregnant."

"Or that I'm diseased?"

"I'm not too worried."

BJ smiled and yawned. Hawkeye sipped his coffee and yawned as well. "Come on." BJ slapped Hawkeye's knee. "Let's go put Charles out of our misery." Hawkeye nodded. As they made their way to the Swamp, Hawkeye mused over the kiss and suddenly jerked. "Problems?" BJ asked.

"Nothing," Hawkeye replied, smiling in a silly way. He kicked at the dirt. Wren had told him BJ hadn't wanted her, that she'd pressed against him and gotten no reaction. Well, BJ certainly wasn't impotent when it came to Hawkeye. It hadn't been just BJ's mouth that had throbbed against him.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Breaking Point Chapter 16**_

Charles watched BJ and Hawkeye enter the Swamp. BJ and Hawkeye each looked at him. "Gentlemen," Charles greeted. BJ nodded. He pulled off his coat and began undressing. Hawkeye followed suit and crawled into his cot. "Hunnicutt, I am sorry for my previous behavior. I acted like a boor. Your family's antics may be annoying to me at times but I've no doubt you think the same of my family."

"It's all right, Charles." BJ didn't look at him. "Apology accepted."

"I also wish to apologize for Erica. Had I known she had injured you, I would have never looked at her, much less in any romantic way."

BJ looked at him. "Thank you," he said.

"Are you totally well now?"

"I'm fine."

"They actually thought you were a Communist?"

BJ smiled tightly. "They insisted I helped a Communist." He laid down.

"Klinger plans on entering your name in a MASH unit boxing match."

Hawkeye propped himself up on one elbow and BJ sat up. "He what?" BJ blurted.

"BJ?" Hawkeye echoed. He started laughing

"He believes if you can take out Flagg, you can certainly take out others."

"I'm not a fighter!"

"Maybe Klinger confused you with Joe Louis," Hawkeye said, snickering.

"It is a lucrative opportunity, Hunnicutt. If you can win even one match..."

"I can't even light a candle. I'm no boxer, Charles."

"But you beat Flagg. With cracked ribs. That does show some tenacity."

"I was angry and had serious incentative for fighting Flagg. I'm not boxing."

"Max will be disappointed."

"Forget it." BJ laid back down.

Charles slept until Klinger woke him for one of his patients. After checking on the patient, he returned to the Swamp. As he entered, a faint rattling drew his attention. He lifted his head and glanced around. The odd noise came from Hunnicutt's corner. Charles looked over, expecting a loose tent flap. Hunnicutt's cot was what was actually creaking and Charles hoped Hunnicutt wasn't doing what he thought he was doing. He studied Hunnicutt a moment then realized Hunnicutt was shuddering. Charles'eyes widened. Convulsions? He leaned over BJ's cot and laid a hand on BJ's arm.

Hunnicutt jerked and Charles gasped. BJ's fingers clenched his shirt, choking him and yanked him close. "Hunnicutt, let go!" he ground out. The fingers tightened instead, cutting off his air. BJ's eyes were glossy pools, impossible to read in the dark.

Suddenly Pierce was there. "BJ, let go," he ordered. He laid hands on BJ's face and turned BJ's head to him. "Beej, it's Hawkeye. Let go."

"Hawk?" BJ's voice held an odd, wavery note.

"Yeah, it's me. Let Charles go. It's all right."

Charles fell back as BJ released him. Hawkeye clasped BJ's shoulder. BJ blinked muzzily and looked at Charles. "Sorry. Nightmare."

"So I see," Charles rasped, rubbing his throat.

Hawkeye kept a hand on BJ's shoulder. "Let's go back to sleep," he said.

"Remind me never to awake Hunnicutt again." Charles sat on his cot. "What on earth were you dreaming about, man? You nearly killed me!"

"I don't remember," BJ mumbled.

"Later," Hawkeye snapped. "Sleep. Now."

The three men settled down to sleep. Charles watched Hawkeye and BJ exchange looks as Hawkeye laid down. Hawkeye punched his pillow. "Beej, give me your pillow."

"Why?"

"Just do it huh?" BJ tossed Hawkeye his pillow. Hawkeye examined it. "Thought so," Hawkeye said. "Yours is thicker." He threw the pillow and BJ tucked it back under his head. He slept almost instantly, curling into a ball.

Charles eyed Hawkeye who watched BJ. Then Hawkeye caught his gaze and closed his eyes.

The next morning, Charles woke early. BJ slumbered and Hawkeye yawned as he woke. Hawkeye pulled on his clothes, coat, and stretched. He stumbled out towards the Mess Tent. Charles followed albeit with far more dignity. In the Mess Tent, he sat across from the bleary eyed Pierce. "What, pray tell, was last night about?" he quietly asked.

Hawkeye looked at him, rubbed sleep crud from his eyes. "Nightmare," he stated. He sipped his coffee. "You came in the middle of a nightmare."

"You appear to know quite a bit about them."

"I know nightmares." Hawkeye shook his head, added sugar to his coffee. "BJ's was better," he mumbled.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Coffee. BJ makes better coffee." He tapped his mug.

"Hunnicutt has nightmares? He acted as if he was convulsing."

Hawkeye nodded. "They're bad."

"How often does this occur?"

"I don't know. He's quiet and I don't always wake up."

"Is he always that--silent?"

Hawkeye nodded again. "Always," he sighed.

Charles stirred his coffee. "That seems unusual."

Hawkeye shrugged. "They don't occur as often as before, I do know that."

"Does he tell you what they're about?"

Hawkeye's bleariness vanished. "I know." A sharpness entered his voice. "Don't ask him, Charles. He's been through enough."

"Flagg did the damage?"

"Along with your girlfriend."

Charles clenched his hands into fists. "I didn't know."

"Relax, Charles, I'm not blaming you." Hawkeye stood and got his breakfast. Charles followed him through the line. Back at the table, Hawkeye ate slowly. Charles sighed.

"He's too thin, Pierce. He's probably lost 25, 30 pounds."

"I know. Physically he's fine except for that."

"Physically," Charles echoed. Hawkeye eyeballed him.

"He's going to be fine mentally, too. Just give him time."

------

BJ jolted awake at the too familiar feel of nails down his chest. Hazel eyes, direct from his nightmares, gazed down at him. "Good morning, Dr. Hunnicutt."

BJ scrambled into a sitting position. He felt his heart race. "What are you doing here?" he rasped.

"I have an inspection. I arrived early." Her fingers stroked his cheek and jawline. "I'm glad to see you, Captain."

BJ felt paralyzing terror flow through his veins. With a yelp, he yanked himself to his feet. Once he was on his feet, he felt better and yanked on his robe. "Get out," he growled.

"Seen it all before, lover."

BJ gripped the back of his chair. "Get. Out."

"Hi, kids." Hawkeye sauntered in and held open the door. "You're not welcome here, Lt. Col. In fact, I'm sure you're not _allowed_ in here."

"I'm looking for Charles."

"I think you'll find he's no longer interested in dating. I'm sure you'll find another snitch."

She smiled and reached out to BJ. BJ stepped back, avoiding her fingers. She shrugged, a gentle lifting of her shapely shoulders, and strolled into the cold. Hawkeye shut the door. He scanned BJ. "You all right?"

"Yeah, just shaken." He smiled. "Thanks."

"Charles is right. You're too thin."

BJ began dressing. He belted his pants. "I've lost a little weight."

Hawkeye came over to him, laid a hand on BJ's chest. For the second time, BJ felt his heart race but this time in sheer pleasure. He smiled at Hawkeye. "Shirt," Hawkeye said.

"Hmm?"

"Another shirt, Beej. That t shirt isn't enough." Hawkeye's lips curled into a smile. "You seem awfully distracted."

"You do that to me." BJ tugged on his shirt. "Thanks for the pillow exchange. It worked."

Hawkeye chuckled. "You caught that. I'm impressed."

"I knew immediately. It smells like you."

"I thought it might help."

"It's nowhere near as good as having you in bed with me but it helps."

Hawkeye grinned. He watched BJ dress. "I can't believe she came in here."

"She's not afraid." BJ brushed his hair, pulled on his coat and boots. "Certainly not of me."

"She didn't look pregnant."

BJ cringed. "Thanks, Hawk."

"I'll go ask."

"What?"

"Well, how else will we find out?"

"We're supposed to stay away from her." BJ gazed at Hawkeye. "Hawkeye, you've done enough. Let it go."

"Don't tell me this isn't eating you up. If she is pregnant, you'll never rest. BJ, you live for your kid."

"Do you think she'll tell you anything? And how will you know she's telling the truth?"

"Gotta try, Beej."

BJ grasped Hawkeye's arm. "No, you don't," he said quietly.

Hawkeye smiled, looked around, and then kissed him. BJ held him tight for a moment.

"Rounds?"

"Rounds."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Breaking Point Chapter 17**_

Hawkeye watched Lt. Col. Wainwright chat with Margaret, her crisp efficiency an excellent complement to the Head Nurse. Wainwright smiled and walked out of Post Op. "Oh, Inspector," he trilled. She turned.

"Hello, Doctor. I shouldn't talk to you. Your commander is very protective."

"He should be. Look, I want to talk to you like I want a kidney infection but I need to know some things."

"Like what?"

"Are you pregnant?"

She laughed, her hair falling forward. She brushed it back with a gloved hand. "Why would you care?"

"If you are, considering what you've done..."

She stared at him with sparkling eyes. "I don't believe it. BJ told you of our rendezvous."

"Rendezvous? Are you kidding?" Hawkeye glared at Wainwright. "Whatever. I just want to know."

"Why isn't Dr. Hunnicutt asking?"

Hawkeye smiled sharply. "You're crazier than I thought if you think I'd let him near you."

"Too frightened?"

"That's me. I'm frightened he'd kill you."

"He could try." She smiled. "Doctor, if I was pregnant, do you think I'd tell you?"

"You look pale. Perhaps you're contagious."

"Nice try. I had a physical last week." She started walking, gesturing for him to follow. "I'm fine."

"Then tell me." He stepped beside her, overcoming his loathing and to be frank, fear.

"Doctor Pierce, do you think I'd honestly have a child sired by a Communist sympathizer? And if I decided to have that child, do you believe for even one moment I'd allow that Communist anywhere near the child?"

"If the father wishes to see his own kid..."

"No. Not a chance. I would never allow an enemy of our country near any child of mine." She smiled wider. "The father could live his life just wondering."

"How do you live like this? How can you destroy someone and sleep at night?"

"Please spare me your hysterics, Doctor." She whirled on him. "I'm here to protect our country. You worry about those patients you get. I have an entire country under my care. Think on this. Those wounded men you keep getting can be laid at Dr. Hunnicutt's feet. He aided the enemy!"

"He saved a child!"

"He saved a Communist. And he wouldn't tell us where she was. He screams a lot but nothing useful. Why not tell us if he had nothing to hide?"

"Maybe because he didn't know anything. He's not a Communist. And how do you know she was one?"

She stared unblinkingly at him. "We have our ways."

"You don't know," Hawkeye exclaimed. "You're just guessing."

She started walking again to the VIP tent. "Word of advice, Doctor. Choose a better colleague."

"Go to Hell."

"And, Doctor, just in case you're thinking of following up on that contagious line, my aides have direct orders to immediately call the physicians at the CIA and I Corp if I become sick."

"How nice, you work for two demons."

"I like to keep busy."

Hawkeye left her, spinning on his heel. He grabbed BJ's arm as he passed his friend and yanked him to the supply tent, ignoring BJ's questions. In the tent, he shoved a box in front of the door and kissed BJ hard.

After a stunned second, BJ melted against him. Hawkeye ravished his mouth, ran his fingers over BJ's face and neck, and then laid his head on BJ's chest. BJ's arms held him tight. "She won't tell me, Beej." BJ's fingers stroked his hair. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right." BJ breathed slowly. "I figured she wouldn't."

Hawkeye listened to BJ breathe. The younger surgeon held him tight, continued to caress Hawkeye's silver shot hair, and snuggled Hawkeye as close as he physically could. "We need to do something," Hawkeye said.

"Hawk, forget it."

"BJ, don't give up so easily."

"We can't hold her down and force a sample."

"We can try."

He felt BJ looking at him. Then both heard the choppers at the same time. "Fun, fun." Hawkeye sighed. "Let's go."

--------------

Blood and shrapnel, cracked bone and severed limbs. The wounded kept coming and the medical team kept working. Hawkeye spotted Wainwright walking into the OR. "Out!" he snapped. "This is not a spectator sport!"

"Doctor, she's just observing," Margaret murmured.

"You heard me. Get her out of here!" Hawkeye pressed his fingers on a bleeding vein. "Now!"

"You better leave, Lt. Colonel," Potter said.

"Of course," Wainwright murmured. She glided out of the OR.

"Hunnicutt, are you all right?" Potter asked.

"Got a close nick to the aorta but I'm fine."

"Pierce?"

"I'm all right."

"Winchester?"

"I am fine as well."

"How about you Colonel?"

"Just finished closing. Klinger, how many more do we have?"

"Two, sir."

"Bring one in."

"Yes, sir."

After the OR session, the surgeons stripped off their scrubs. "Damn winter. I hate frostbite," Potter muttered. "What time is it?"

"Just after 8 pm."

"No wonder I'm starving."

"I need a shower," BJ said, pulling on his clothes and coat.

"We all do," Hawkeye yawned.

"Speak for yourself, Pierce."

"Oh, I forgot. Winchesters don't sweat."

"Not like common laborers," Winchester snorted.

"Just a reminder, gents, I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon."

"And our local ghoul?" BJ inquired.

"She'll be gone in the morning."

"Good." Hawkeye pulled on his coat. "This war is getting too popular."

BJ and Hawkeye showered. Hawkeye noted the somewhat wasted torso and evident ribs. "Look at yourself," BJ stated as he scrubbed his hair. "You're skinny yourself."

Hawkeye glanced at his own thin body. "I'm not as bad as you."

BJ smiled seductively. "Just remember that line."

They met up with Potter and Winchester in the Mess Tent. Potter gestured to the table and the two sat. "It's starting to snow," BJ mentioned.

"Long as the wind dies down." Potter drank his coffee. "Hell of a stretch in OR."

"Is our generator filled?"

Potter nodded. "Gas truck came yesterday." He looked at Winchester. "Klinger knows his job. Don't ride his tail."

"Of course not, sir."

"I mean it, Winchester. All you need to do is let these people alone. Everyone knows their job."

"Yeah," Hawkeye said.

"Except maybe you, Pierce." Winchester munched his vegetables. "I'll show you what a real commander can do."

"Spoken like a true despot, Charles," BJ quipped.

Charles snorted but fell silent at Potter's glare.

Hawkeye felt BJ's elbow nudge his ribs. Hawkeye turned his head as Margaret and Wainwright walked into the Mess Tent. Mulcahy followed behind them. "Eva's here," BJ muttered.

Margaret and Wainwright headed their way with Mulcahy. BJ started to stand and Hawkeye pulled him down. "Eat," he demanded. "You need to suffer just like all the rest of us."

"Good evening, gentlemen," Margaret cheerily said.

"Margaret," Hawkeye nodded. "Father." BJ grunted and Potter smiled slightly. Charles politely moved over and everyone sat. Pressed against BJ, hip to ankle, Hawkeye felt the occasional tremor as BJ ate and guardingly watched Wainwright.

"The Lt. Col. mentioned that I Corp is thinking of sending us new supplies and different antibiotics," Fr. Mulcahy brightly said.

"How wonderful," Hawkeye said. "How about sending us something useful, like a truce?"

"We're trying, Captain." Wainwright smiled. "It's not as simple as it seems."

"How hard can it be?" Hawkeye demanded. "You simply stop fighting and they stop fighting."

"And the Communists?" Wainwright asked. "There are Communists everywhere. Fighting their influence is a job in itself."

"Is it that bad?" Mulcahy asked.

"We find Communists and Communist sympathizers everywhere. No place is immune. Not even MASH units."

"Surely you're worrying over nothing." Charles sipped his coffee. "Whatever could a Communist find interesting here?"

"You never know, Major. If we don't root out the Communist influence, they'll be in Washington before we know it. Or Boston." Wainwright smiled at Charles. "The US must be protected."

"Here, here," Margaret agreed.

"No matter what the cost?" Potter asked.

"If it protects our country, what cost is too high?" Wainwright asked. Margaret nodded.

"How about the cost of becoming monsters?" Hawkeye snapped.

"Surely you don't defend Communism, Dr. Pierce."

"Communism, schummunism," BJ softly said. "They're people."

Wainwright smiled sharper, brighter. "You sound sympathetic, Dr. Hunnicutt."

"As Hawkeye once put it, when they come in here, the uniforms come off." He stood. "Excuse me, everyone. I need some fresh air."

"There's an idea." Hawkeye stood and followed. They walked to the Officer's Club, BJ breathing out great gusts of steam in the frozen air. In the warm Officer's Club, they each ordered bourbon and drank. A little while later, Charles strolled in.

"Gentlemen, if you ever leave me alone with those two women again, I will smother you in your sleep."

"Potter and Mulcahy were there." BJ drank his bourbon.

"Our beloved Colonel decided he needed to pack and the good father merely said Hunnicutt was tired and that's why he was snappish."

"How was I snappish?"

"Defending Communism." Winchester drank his cognac. "You are certainly her interest, Hunnicutt. I feel rather used."

"Go with the feeling," Hawkeye said.

They drank companionably. Klinger scurried in. "There you are. Major Houlihan is on the warpath and looking for you three. Better run."

"What did we do?" Hawkeye demanded.

"Ticked off that Wainwright colonel."

"On that note, I'm going to bed." BJ slid off the stool.

"Good idea." Hawkeye finished his drink.

"There you are!" Margaret swooped into the Officer's Club. "What were you two doing? Kicking Wainwright out of the OR, arguing for Communism! She thinks we're all a bunch of Communist sympathizers!"

"Who cares what she thinks?" BJ asked.

"She's a Lt. Colonel! Her say so could mean better supplies, more equipment!"

"Enough, Margaret." Hawkeye sidled up beside BJ. "We don't need her."

"I don't want her thinking we're aiding the enemy! She's a fine officer!" Margaret stated.

"She's with I Corp. They need five say so's just to get us penicillin."

Margaret placed her hands on her hips and eyed Hawkeye. "She must have really turned you down."

"Margaret, god!" BJ snapped. "We don't need to feed that psycho's kicks and kinks!"

Margaret turned her gaze on BJ. "What's with you, BJ? You never liked her."

"That's right, I don't." BJ glared at Margaret. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." He shoved past her, ignoring her squawk of surprised rage.

"What's with him?" she demanded.

"He's just a little cut up over recent events," Winchester dryly commented. Hawkeye gave him a warning glance.

"He's acting like an ass."

"Well, we all have our days." Hawkeye slipped into the icy night. He heard Winchester behind him. They hurried to the Swamp.

Wainwright left the next morning. Margaret and Potter saw her off while the three surgeons watched from a small distance. Father Mulcahy joined them. "She seems polite enough," Fr. Mulcahy said.

"Yes, she is polite," Winchester commented.

"It's a horrible shame what happened to her," Mulcahy stated.

"Whatever do you mean?" Winchester asked.

"She has a family emergency. She's heading stateside for a few months to deal with an ailing father. Poor woman."

"What a tragedy," Hawkeye exclaimed, perking up. His gloved fingers brushed BJ's arm in what could almost be a caress.

BJ watched the jeep drive off, leaning ever so slightly into Hawkeye's touch.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Breaking Point Chapter 18**_

BJ stroked his hand down Sophie's neck. The dark bay mare whickered as he fed her an apple then lifted her head high. BJ turned. "There you are!" Hawkeye exclaimed.

"Potter asked me to check on her while he was gone." BJ patted the mare again. "I thought you were serving Emperor Charles."

"Are you kidding? Come on, I need your help with a patient."

BJ rubbed Sophie's nose and the mare returned to eating her hay. BJ checked her water and then left with Hawkeye. "I didn't know you did horse calls," Hawkeye said.

"I have a stable following. Word spreads hoof to mouth."

"Very funny," Hawkeye said.

As they walked to Post Op, Hawkeye casually said "Got your blood test results."

"And?"

Hawkeye grinned. "You're clean."

BJ whooped and hugged Hawkeye. Hawkeye laughed and BJ kissed him hard. Hawkeye enjoyed a thrill of pleasure as BJ pressed against him. "Should I book us a room?" he asked.

BJ nuzzled his neck. "Sorry, I have Post Op tonight. And Sidney should be here tomorrow for the poker game."

Hawkeye sighed. "All right, all right. I'll wait."

---------------------------

Potter walked Sophie to her corral, rubbing the mare's forehead. Her hooves crunched on the dirt. As he let her loose, Sidney came over. "Hey, Sherman."

"Hey, Sidney." He locked the gate. "You know anything about horses?"

"I grew up in New York. There wasn't much time for actual horseplay."

"Shame. There's nothing as special as a good horse." He gave Sophie a final pat and fell in beside Sidney. "See my squirrels?"

"And fed them." Sidney grinned.

"Everyone all right?"

"Seem to be."

"Hunnicutt all right?"

"Any reason you singled him out?"

"He's a little different than before his run in with Flagg."

"Of course he is. He was abused, Sherman. He won't tell me how much but I'm sure he still thinks about it."

Potter nodded. "I know he does. Wainwright visited. Hunnicutt was fine. Quiet but fine."

"Good. I'm glad he could face her." Sidney shivered as the wind whistled. "Can we hurry to your office?"

In Potter's office, the Colonel poured out two whiskies. "That'll put fire in your belly."

"And then some." Sidney sat down. "Is BJ a worry to you?"

"You don't know what a wheelhorse is, do you Sidney?"

"No."

Potter sighed. "In a team of horses, the horses hitched next to the wagon are the wheelhorses. They're not the flashiest of your team and they're not the leaders. They are the steadiest, strongest horses. The ones you don't worry about. Hunnicutt is usually my wheelhorse. Winchester has the biggest ego and Pierce is more high strung. Hunnicutt's always been simply steady. I rely on that. It worries me that he may not have that steadiness any more. And it makes me mad at myself that I may have taken it for granted."

"Every person has their part to play. Don't beat yourself up for that."

"Don't get me wrong, Sidney. Hunnicutt's a first rate cutter. And he's just as devilish as Pierce. He's simply more mellow."

"And now he's not."

"He's just quicker tempered, more irritable."

"Have you ever left BJ in charge when you were gone?"

Potter shook his head. "He said he doesn't want it."

"Neither does Pierce."

Potter thought for a moment. "I really can't give you an answer, Sidney. I just never thought of Hunnicutt."

"I'm not trying to criticize. I'm just curious."

"Talk to him, will you Sid? Make sure he's all right."

"You're the boss."

-------

BJ looked at him with oddly shadowed eyes. "Why am I here?"

"BJ, I'm just doing a follow up. A check up."

"I'm fine."

"Potter said you did well with Wainwright."

"Thank you. I can behave, Sidney. I have been beaten up before. Granted, the last time was when I was 10."

"How did it feel seeing her again?"

"Angry. Terrifying. Not as bad as I thought. I'm not tied down anymore. I can fight if I need to fight, run if I need to run."

"I can't see you running."

"Then you need your vision checked." BJ grinned. "I'm not that brave."

"You stepped in to save the girl."

"I'm also not sane."

"If you had to do it over, would you leave her?"

"I've gone over it a thousand times. I can't see any other thing I could do. If I had it to do over, I'd still do it."

"Even knowing you'd get beat up?"

"Yes." BJ answered rapidly then looked thoughtful. His pupils dilated. "Yes. Even knowing all that would happen, I would do it over again."

"BJ?"

BJ smiled oddly. "You hit it on the head, Sidney. I _would _do it over."

"I don't follow."

"This fight, attack--in some ways, it's my choice because I would do it over."

"For the girl."

"Yes," BJ said. "For the girl." His voice trailed off as if he wanted to add something.

"Is there something else?"

BJ shook his head. "I just feel better."

"That's good."

"Sidney, I'm all right. Really."

"Do you think you could handle seeing Flagg?"

"Do I have to?"

"I just meant he may show up here someday."

"Considering he's convinced I'm a Communist, I'm sure he will." BJ studied Sidney. "Thanks for helping me with that."

"Flagg is practically a schizophrenic. It was my pleasure."

BJ stood up. "Thanks again."

"You're welcome. See you at the poker game."

--------

_Dear Captain Hunnicutt,_

_BJ, sir, hi, it's me, Radar. I'm writing you this letter instead of the whole camp because this really only deals with me and you. I'm doing fine and hope you are doing ok. I hope all the others there are all right as well. I love being home but I really do miss everyone. My mom is fine as am I._

_Before I left, BJ, I know we kind of talked about your jeep accident. I know you said never to tell anyone but I have the feeling I really should. People should know, BJ. Especially that certain person. It's not like you should be ashamed. _

_My mom decided to try to match the names I was mentioning to the photos I have. At your name, she picked you out instantly. Her face turned kinda sad for a minute then happy. She told me to write you and tell you you have some hard times ahead like everyone but that there is nothing wrong with being who you really are, what God made you to be. I know that's really vague but she said you'll understand. She also said you should remember your body is telling you what you need. (She tells me that when I get a craving for fresh corn or apples. Just be careful not to eat too many.) _

_If you really don't want me to tell anyone, I won't. Just be careful, OK? I know that jeep accident must have really hurt and I hope your injuries weren't permanent. It's been three months. Take care of yourself and everyone and if you could tell everyone hi from me, that'd be great. _

_Hoping the war ends soon and you can all come home. _

_Sincerely,_

_Radar_

_also known as Walter O'Reilly_

BJ folded the single sheet of paper and smiled sadly. He placed the letter in his footlocker and wrote a quick response.

_Dear Radar,_

_Thank you for the letter. I'm glad you're all right. Everyone here is all right. We miss you, too. I appreciate what you're trying to do in regards to my accident but please, do nothing. Say nothing. I'm healed and that's all that matters. _

_Tell your mother thank you and I'll try to heed her advice. I'm not sure of all she meant but I'll figure it out. I'll watch out for the people here and animals . Be careful. Take care of your mother and yourself._

_Sincerely,_

_BJ _


	19. Chapter 19

_**Breaking Point Chapter 19**_

Colonel Potter walked into the office, pulling his coat tight around him. "This better be good, Klinger," he spat. "It's six in the blessed AM!"

"I know, sir, but you need to meet with this person."

"I'm going to give this man a piece of my mind." Potter stormed into his office. "Ah, horse hockey! Flagg, why are you here? I gave orders you are not welcome here!"

"I need to talk to your Commie Captain, Potter. Since you insist on coddling him and being notified if I talk to him, I came to you first."

"It's 6:00 in the morning! He's sleeping!"

"So wake him up! This is a matter of national security!"

"Klinger, go get Captain Hunnicutt. Let's get this over with."

Klinger sighed and trudged to the Swamp. He entered the dark tent and touched BJ's shoulder. Much to Klinger's surprise, BJ jerked to his feet and stood swaying. "What is it, Klinger? Is it a patient?" BJ pulled on his pants.

"No, sir, it's Colonel Flagg."

BJ stared at him. "Are you kidding?" he whispered. "What does he---forget it." He pulled on his coat and boots. Klinger smelled soap and gin and BJ gestured to the door. Klinger stepped out of the Swamp, held open the door, and BJ darted past him. Klinger hastily tossed a handful of snow on Hawkeye's feet, another on Charles's face, and followed BJ. The yelps behind him told him the other surgeons were now awake. Klinger could only hope they would get the hint and follow.

BJ swallowed his dread and anger and calmly walked into Potter's office. "Good morning, Colonel Potter," he said. "A little early, isn't it?"

"Hello, Hunnicutt. Colonel Flagg needed to see you."

BJ turned his head and stared directly into Flagg's furious eyes. "Well, well. Here I thought all the snakes were hibernating."

"You Red loving bastard. I have you dead to rights, Ivan."

"On what?" BJ spat.

"Your letters," Flagg snarled. He slapped two sheets of paper on Potter's desk. Potter picked up the papers.

"What the hell are you doing with my mail?" BJ exclaimed.

"This is from Radar," Potter said. "Are these copies?"

"Yes," Flagg replied.

BJ grabbed for the letters and Flagg snatched them back. "Those are mine!" BJ spat.

"It's a secret code between Communists!"

"Radar a Communist?" Potter blurted. "You're out of your mind!"

"Then what's this mean? '_I know you said never to tell anyone but I have the feeling I really should. People should know, BJ. Especially that certain person. It's not like you should be ashamed.' _and you wrote '_I appreciate what you're trying to do in regards to my accident but please, do nothing. Say nothing.'_ Just what are you talking about, Comrade Hunnicutt?"

"None of your damn business," BJ hotly replied.

"Is this a private yelling contest or can anyone join?" Hawkeye strolled in with Charles a few strides behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Colonel Potter asked.

"The yelling woke us up," Hawkeye said. He touched BJ's arm as he passed, leaned against the window.

"Whatever is going on?" Charles demanded.

"You're not wanted here," Flagg said.

"Neither are you," Potter said.

"I need to know what messages this traitor is sending." Flagg shifted weight. "He has known Communist associates, a prelidiction for peace, aided a Communist..."

"What known Communist associate?" BJ blustered.

Flagg check his notebook. "Nigel Barrywoods, a foreigner."

"He's a college friend," BJ snarled. "And what does Nigel have to do with anything?"

"He was associated with known rabblerousers in England."

"Like who?"

"Socialists for Peace."

"Nigel is not a Communist," BJ snorted.

"Then why did he leave money to the British Socialist Justice Fund and the RSPCA?"

BJ jerked. "Nigel's dead?"

"Nice work, Flagg," Hawkeye spat. "Perhaps next you can tell war widows their husbands aren't coming home." He tapped BJ's shoulder. "Beej?"

BJ looked at him with large eyes. "He was only 29."

"I'm sorry, Hunnicutt," Potter said.

"You admit knowing Nigel Barrywoods?"

"We were friends in college. The last I heard from Nigel was four years ago when he got married," BJ growled. "He wasn't a Communist or an evil man."

"Forget about Barrywoods. What about O'Reilly?"

"Radar isn't a Communist either!"

"Hunnicutt, please tell us what Radar meant." Potter rubbed his temples.

"No."

The room went silent. "Excuse me?" Potter asked.

"No. Radar and I talked privately. I'm not telling this khaki gorilla anything."

"Oh, you'll talk." Flagg stepped forward.

BJ stood still, watching Flagg intently. Every muscle tensed. "Stop it, Flagg!" Potter barked. "Damn it, Hunnicutt, what is this about?"

"Nothing! Radar wrote me. That's it."

"So what's the big deal?" Hawkeye asked. "Radar doesn't care."

"I said no!"

"You make me sick," Flagg spat. "You sit around and plot the overthrow of our government, the very country that raised you."

"For the last time, I'm not a Communist."

"So tell me what this is about," Flagg snapped.

"Rot in Hell."

"What was that, Hunnicutt?" Potter demanded.

"Radar and I spoke privately, Colonel."

"There is no privacy in the Army," Flagg said.

"That explains all the people watching the latrines," Hawkeye said.

"Pierce," Potter sighed.

"Hunnicutt, what is this big secret?" Winchester groaned. "This--gentleman can be quite persuasive as you know. You don't want that again."

"Winchester knows?" Potter softly asked Hawkeye. Pierce gave a quick nod.

"That's right. We can always talk again."

"Have thumbscrews, will travel." BJ inhaled, eyes never leaving Flagg. His gaze had never left Flagg since he'd turned his head and the CIA officer took another step forward. BJ quivered visibly but stepped forward as well. The tension thickened and Potter stepped from behind the desk. He put his small frame between the two.

"Colonel, there's a phone call for you." Klinger stepped into the office.

"Later, Klinger."

"You'll want this, sir. It's Radar."

Potter grabbed the phone as Flagg dove for it. BJ's back stiffened and Hawkeye grabbed his arm. "Radar?" Potter exclaimed. "Yes, I know it's early here. Say, son, we have a question for you. You wrote a letter to BJ. Just what did you mean by talking about the accident?" Potter paused. "I know BJ said not to talk about it. It's all right. He's ok with it. Yes, he's here." Potter looked at BJ and handed him the phone. "Tell him it's all right, BJ."

BJ stared at Potter then lifted the receiver. "Hey, Radar, it's BJ. I know what I wrote but it's all right now. Sure, you can tell the Colonel. We're all fine here. He's fine, too. I'll let you speak to him after the Colonel. OK." BJ cocked his head. "She does? All right, after you talk to Hawk then. Here's the Colonel."

He handed the phone to Potter. "I'll put it on speaker so you can hear, Flagg," Potter said. Winchester and Hawkeye crowded around, Klinger close behind them. BJ hung back.

"It's really simple, sir." Radar's voice echoed clearly. "It's not really a secret except BJ told me not to tell. He wasn't supposed to go the 8055th. It wasn't his turn. But BJ said he'd take the 8055th. He'd also volunteered for Battalion Aid the time before, so the rotation schedule is kind of screwed up. Next up for Battalion Aid or the front should be Major Winchester if he hasn't gone yet and Captain Pierce for any MASH units." Radar paused. "BJ just took Hawkeye's place both times."

Potter waited. "That's it?"

"Yes, sir. I didn't see any problem because you always said take volunteers first." Potter gazed at BJ. "Is BJ in trouble, sir? He didn't do anything wrong."

"He's just dandy, son."

Hawkeye looked over his shoulder and looked at BJ. BJ watched Flagg. As if feeling Hawkeye's gaze, he looked at him, then back to Flagg. Potter picked up the phone and talked a few minutes, then looked at Hawkeye. "Pierce, grab the phone at Klinger's office."

"I'll be right outside, Beej." Hawkeye glanced at Flagg, nodded and left Potter's office.

"Thanks."

Potter looked at Flagg. "Is that sufficient proof, Colonel Crazy?"

Flagg snorted. "Enough for now. Except for one thing. Why did you volunteer, Hunnicutt?"

"I was bored."

Winchester sniggered. Flagg glared at him. "You were planning a meeting with your Red friends, weren't you?" Flagg demanded.

"That _is_ clever, Hunnicutt," Winchester said. "Volunteering for a call you couldn't possibly know was coming, sending secret smoke signals, gathering your Communist colleagues in hidden spots where no one could see you despite the fact the 8055th has what, 200 people. You are a crafty devil."

BJ grinned at Charles. Flagg snarled wordlessly. "I'll be seeing you," he snapped at Hunnicutt. He stormed out. Potter took off his glasses and BJ sighed, slumping slightly.

"Why didn't you just speak up?" Potter demanded.

"I deserve some privacy, Colonel. It's my business. Radar felt bad because I had an accident. It wasn't his fault. I told him to say nothing. Hawk was worn out. So I volunteered."

"In my opinion, Hunnicutt can volunteer for all the Battalion Aid trips," Winchester said.

"I don't want to be woken up again, Hunnicutt! Not by that loon."

"I'll try to be good."

"Let's get some breakfast," Potter ordered.

BJ stopped by Hawkeye who waved him to his side. Winchester, Klinger, and Potter left the office. After Hawkeye chatted a few more minutes, he handed the phone to BJ. He listened to BJ's good-natured patter with Radar's mother and when BJ was done, he crossed his arms and stared. "What?" BJ asked as he hung up the phone.

"Why all the secrecy?"

"Radar felt guilty. I told him to forget it."

"Why not tell me?"

"You were being run ragged. You had nightmares. I wanted to help out."

Hawkeye gazed at BJ, studied the lean face and dark ringed eyes. "_I _had nightmares?" he repeated.

"Face it, Hawk, you have more nightmares than me. And usually that's the only time you let me help you."

Hawkeye blinked in surprise. "That's not true."

"Yes, Hawkeye, it is. You make jokes, horse around, but you rarely tell me your nightmares. You shrug off your problems."

"All right, all right. You like to deny you're hurt."

BJ searched Hawkeye's eyes. "I guess we should talk more."

Hawkeye wanted to make a crack but held his tongue and touched BJ's cheek. "You got a deal," he quietly said. "And thank you."

"Anytime."

"I know this has to be rough. Facing Wainwright, then Flagg."

"It's been four months, Hawkeye. This is for the best. At least I can see them as people and not bogeymen."

"Flagg can be scary," Hawkeye said.

BJ smiled. "Inside, I'm terrified."

"I know." Hawkeye squeezed BJ's shoulder. Under his fingers, he felt BJ tremble. Hawkeye glanced around and squeezed his shoulder again. BJ inhaled and visibly pulled himself together. "Let's go, Beej."


	20. Chapter 20

_**Breaking Point Chapter 20**_

"Is everyone here mad?" Winchester snapped, pushing past a group of nurses.

"They're tired, Charles, let them be." Hawkeye poked at his dinner.

"Everyone is tired, Pierce. That doesn't excuse acting like rabble." He looked around. "Is Hunnicutt _still_ with his patient?"

"Yes," Hawkeye curtly replied. Winchester raised his eyebrows.

"Well., well. I see Hunnicutt is contagious."

Hawkeye blinked. "Excuse me?"

"He sulked and snarled all last night and I see it's now infected you. Just kiss and make up."

"What?!"

Charles studied him. "It was a joke, Pierce. Relax."

"BJ was crabby?"

"Nothing more than his usual funk when you're out harassing nurses," Charles said.

Hawkeye jerked again. "What are you talking about?"

Charles gestured with his fork. "He's always moody when you're gone. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was jealous."

"Of course he is," Hawkeye exclaimed. "Who isn't jealous of me?"

"Everyone?" Charles responded.

"You say that now but deep down you can only dream of having my looks, charm, and hair."

"Please, Pierce, I'm eating."

Fr. Mulcahy and Potter sat down next to Hawkeye. "No BJ?" Mulcahy inquired.

"Patient. I think his name is Evans." Hawkeye swallowed his coffee.

"The tank driver?" Mulcahy asked. "Isn't BJ done with him?"

"Shrapnel chewed him up pretty good. Hunnicutt basically stitched him back together." Potter surveyed his tray with resignation. Hawkeye ate his hamburger.

"Evans was a mess. I'm honestly surprised he lasted this long," Hawkeye said.

Winchester nodded. "Hunnicutt did get lucky."

"Lucky, my rump," Potter snapped. "BJ did a damn fine job."

"For a Californian," Winchester snorted.

"Poor Evans," Mulcahy said.

"I'll check in on him," Hawkeye said.

He walked in Post Op. Margaret pointed to the slumped figure next to a bed. "Take him out. Evans is stable and BJ can't do anymore. He's been falling asleep beside him."

Hawkeye gently touched BJ's shoulder. BJ's eyes snapped open and he smiled. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself. Come on."

"Evans..."

"is stable. Let's go." He pulled BJ to his feet. They walked to the Swamp and Hawkeye eased BJ onto his cot. He poured BJ a drink.

BJ watched him with hooded eyes as they drank. "Charles said you were moody last night."

BJ scowled. "Winchester says too much."

Hawkeye stared into his drink. "Were you jealous?"

"Should I be?" BJ grinned.

"BJ, come on. Just answer."

"Why should I be jealous?"

"Just answer the question."

BJ's fingers turned white. "Hawkeye..."

"Were you jealous, damn it?! Stop dancing around the subject and answer!"

"What do you want to hear, Hawkeye?" BJ's eyes blazed. "That I nearly get sick to my stomach every time I see you with the nurses? That I wish your hands were on me instead? Yes, I'm jealous!"

"We haven't even been together, BJ! Every time we even start to get close, casualties come in or you pull away!"

"It's not that I don't want to be with you!"

"No, it's because you're married!"

"It's because I'm afraid, damn it!" Hawkeye inhaled. BJ's voice dropped to almost a whisper. "And it's not what you think. I'm not afraid because of Flagg. Or Wainwright. Or Peg."

"Then what?" BJ stared at him, swallowed several times before Hawkeye took pity on him and grasped BJ's shoulder. "Let's go to Rosie's."

----------------

Hawkeye blinked and tried to dodge the sledgehammer hitting his skull. Then he realized the sledgehammer was _in_ his skull and he moved slowly. A moan escaped his lips.

"Good morning, Pierce." Charles' voice echoed in his ears.

"Not so loud, Charles," Hawkeye groaned. He sat up and spotted a bottle of aspirin and glass of water by his cot. "Oh, thank God." He gulped several aspirin tablets and the water. "Where's BJ?"

"In Post Op, checking on Evans." Winchester seemed exceedingly pleased with himself. "I am surprised you're asking."

"Why?" Hawkeye dragged on his pants.

"Considering you sent him to Post Op as well."

"What?"

"You sent him sprawling. You honestly don't remember?"

Hawkeye stared. "I pushed BJ?"

"Pushed?" Winchester hooted. "You punched him."

Hawkeye jerked to his feet. "I what?"

"Granted, you were trying for that Marine. Hunnicutt stepped in front and took the blow." Winchester stared at him. "You don't remember anything?"

"No."

"You were yelling at Hunnicutt about bourbon and gin and how he had to chose. It was rather amusing how you kept insisting he pick one or the other. Hunnicutt tried to calm you down. The leatherneck told you to shut up, grabbed for you, and Hunnicutt stepped in between, just as you swung." Winchester chortled. "You fell on top of him and then Hunnicutt dragged you out."

Hawkeye moaned as memories flooded back. He stood up and pulled on his shirt. After he dressed, he stumbled towards Post Op. When he entered Post Op, he spotted BJ strolling between the beds. "Beej, wait up."

BJ turned with a smile. "You're alive."

Hawkeye barely heard him. A purple black bruise covered BJ's right cheek and he reached out to touch it with shaking fingers. BJ clasped his fingers before he touched his cheek. "God, Beej, I'm so sorry."

"It's all right."

Hawkeye felt burning at his eyes. BJ lifted a hand and wiped his cheek. "Hawk, it's all right. I'm fine." He looked over his shoulder. "Able, call me if anything happens with Evans."

"Yes, Doctor."

BJ steered Hawkeye out the door and around the corner of the building. Hawkeye rubbed his eyes then hugged BJ close. BJ embraced him then let him go, keeping hands on Hawkeye's shoulders. "Hawkeye, I'm all right."

"It wasn't just--isn't just--I didn't mean..."

BJ's eyes softened. "Hawkeye, I know." He looked around then cupped a hand over Hawkeye's hair. "Have you even eaten yet?"

"Please. Even the thought of food makes me sick, much less what the Mess Tent serves."

"I understand. Can you stand watching me eat?"

"Only if you chew with your mouth closed this time."

They walked to the Mess Tent and sat with Margaret and Winchester. "Whatever happened, BJ?" Margaret gasped.

"Fight with a Marine." BJ nibbled his oatmeal cautiously.

"Actually, it was Pierce," Charles snickered.

"Hawkeye, you didn't!"

"It was a misunderstanding," Hawkeye stammered.

"And it's all right." BJ sprinkled sugar over his oatmeal.

"It looks horrible." Margaret gently touched BJ's face, ran fingers over the bruise. "Does it hurt?"

"Not if you don't touch it."

Klinger came to their table. "Here you go, sir. You lucky dog," he said to BJ, handing him papers.

"Yes! Thanks, Klinger."

"What's that?"

"These, Hawkeye, are our tickets to temporary freedom. Five days in Tokyo." BJ grinned.

"What?!" Hawkeye grabbed the papers. "Who-hoo!"

"Why do you two cretins get five days R&R?" Charles demanded.

"I asked nicely." BJ took a spoonful of oatmeal. "Evans evacs tomorrow and Hawkeye and I can leave after that. We can grab a chopper, Potter says."

"I can't believe this," Charles snarled.

"I'm glad," Margaret said. "You need a break."

"Thank you, Margaret," BJ said. "Hawkeye and I will bring you a gift." Hawkeye opened his mouth and BJ elbowed him. Hawkeye pushed his knee against BJ and felt the younger man push back. Casually he dropped his hand and laid his fingers on BJ's lap. BJ stiffened and Hawkeye ran a quick line over BJ's thigh. Then he clasped his coffee mug in both hands and drank slowly. BJ swallowed hard and took another spoonful of oatmeal.

After breakfast, BJ went directly to the shower. Hawkeye followed, smirking slightly. "Is there a problem?" he sweetly asked.

"You are evil," BJ growled, scrubbing fiercely. "Damn, Hawkeye!"

Hawkeye laughed and soaped himself. He breathed in the familiar scents of soap and mildewing wood, of shampoo and copper. BJ carefully shaved and washed his face. Hawkeye shaved as well and watched BJ dry himself. The play of muscles intrigued him, the flex of pale skin and gleaming scars. "Stop it," BJ said. "I'm not taking another cold shower."Hawkeye chuckled. He did wonder how he would get through today and tonight. BJ dressed slowly, almost seductively, and Hawkeye flipped the water to cold. BJ grinned over his shoulder.

"You did that on purpose!" Hawkeye accused.

"Dressing? Yes." BJ pulled on his coat. "Besides, turnabout is fair play."

-----------------------------

The next morning didn't come fast enough for Hawkeye. Finally he was in a hotel room with BJ and as soon as the door closed, he tackled BJ onto one of the large beds. "Hawk!" BJ gasped from on his back. "Hawk, wait a minute!" He laughed as Hawkeye straddled him and he kissed him quickly. "Just wait."

"Wait?!"

"I have lubricant in my bag." BJ fumbled a bottle from his bag.

Hawkeye jerked in surprise. "You know about lube?"

"I'm not a virgin, Hawkeye." BJ reached up and pulled Hawkeye close. An odd light filled his eyes. "C'mere."

The kiss was slow and deep and Hawkeye felt his skin nearly burn from the passion and heat. BJ slid his fingers along Hawkeye's neck and buried his fingers in Hawkeye's hair.

Hawkeye knew he had to move very slowly, very tenderly. While he'd never been with a victim before (that he was aware of), he knew enough psychology to know BJ had to call the shots. He watched BJ intently, making sure the younger man enjoyed every move. BJ responded aggressively, passionately, matching every move. Hawkeye finally realized BJ was watching him just as raptly, trying to ensure no wrong action. At that, Hawkeye chuckled, kissed BJ hard and allowed himself to relax.

They made love, not sex, and Hawkeye was experienced enough to know the difference. Afterwards, they snuggled together, each gently caressing the other. "That was incredible," Hawkeye murmured.

"Thank you."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Absolutely not. I trust you, Hawkeye."

Hawkeye felt a sweet, sharp pain lance through his chest. He laid his head on BJ's broad shoulder and listened to BJ breathe.

BJ slid his fingers through Hawk's silky hair. As Hawkeye slept, BJ kissed Hawkeye's forehead. He watched his lover sleep and longed to tell him everything_. I know you don't understand but I love you. And that means everything I am. I don't, haven't given myself to anyone like I have you and __that's what frightens me. That's my dread, that I'm the only one in this relationship. I've lost Peg, I know, or maybe she's lost me. But do I have you_?

BJ fell asleep, arms wrapped around Hawkeye.

----------------------------

Sweat slick skin against sweat slick skin. Hawkeye lightly dragged his nails down BJ's back and the younger doctor bucked underneath him. BJ pulled Hawkeye tight against him and then began kissing down Hawkeye's chest. Using superior strength and size, BJ twisted and rolled Hawkeye underneath him. Hawkeye opened his mouth to protest but what came out was a gasp as BJ's hot mouth enveloped him.

Hawkeye's eyes rolled back in sheer delight. A long time later, deliciously spent, he laid in BJ's arms and stared at the ceiling. "Are you hungry?'

BJ laughed. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

Hawkeye snorted. "Come on, let's shower."

They reveled in each other over the next few days, both verbally and physically. They found a small, excellent restaurant and traversed local gift shops. On the third night, over dumplings and ribs, Hawkeye stretched out a bare foot and nudged BJ's foot. "So what now?" he inquired.

BJ tightened and Hawkeye took a bite of ribs. BJ finally relaxed. "What do you mean?" he quietly asked.

"Beej, neither you nor I can afford a blue discharge." Hawkeye watched BJ's eyes darken.

"So this was just a vacation?!" BJ's voice hummed with tension and perhaps fear.

"**No**. It means we'll have to be very, very careful and I'm going to have to be my usual lovable self. That means chasing nurses."

BJ's jaw clenched and he dropped his gaze. "Who am I to lecture you about faithfulness?" he grated.

Hawkeye grabbed his hand and squeezed, willing BJ to look up at him. When BJ did, he stared at him, trying to make BJ feel his emotions, tried to make him understand. "I didn't say I would sleep with them. Just flirt."

"You'd do that?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't plan on it. You're going have to watch that jealous streak." Hawkeye sipped his saki. "Granted, it's kind of sweet and different."

"I'm possessive." BJ gazed at Hawkeye coolly. "Fair warning."

"All right," Hawkeye said. He held up a dumpling. "Hungry?"

BJ smiled and crawled to him, a predatory look on his face. Hawkeye shivered as BJ wrapped his lips around his fork and sucked the dumpling into his mouth. He chewed slowly, rhythmically, never taking his gaze off Hawkeye. When he licked his lips, Hawkeye shivered and BJ crept to him. BJ reached out and pulled Hawkeye to him.

BJ lifted Hawkeye and carried him to the bed.

-------------------------------------

"What about Charles?" BJ stretched, arching into Hawkeye's touch. Hawkeye kissed BJ's neck and pulled him close to his chest. Their R&R was ending in 12 hours and Hawkeye was determined to enjoy every moment. Right now, Hawkeye delighted in wrapping around his lover. They'd already fallen into a customery sleeping position, BJ usually tucking Hawkeye's back tight against his chest. This time, however, Hawkeye was on the outer edge of the spoon.

"Do you want to tell him?"

BJ snorted. "Don't be an ass, Hawk."

"Beej, I've done this drill before." He mentally winced as BJ tensed. "We'll have to be careful. Nothing changes from before except we do more supply tent inventorying and enjoy Charles' Post Op night shifts."

BJ craned his neck around to look at Hawkeye. "It's going to be hard."

Hawkeye nodded and kissed him. "It'll be hard," he agreed. BJ laid his head back down on the pillow. Hawkeye kissed the back of his neck.

"I love you," BJ said softly.

Hawkeye gently stroked BJ's scarred back, feeling the muscles ripple under his hands. "I love you, too."

BJ's tears made no sound as they fell.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Breaking Point Chapter 21**_

Charles Winchester strolled into Post Op. "I'm here to relieve you, Pierce," he announced.

"Thanks, Charles." Hawkeye didn't lift his gaze from BJ's bedside.

"How is he?" Charles asked. The flu epidemic had ravaged the entire camp, especially the medical staff. Pierce had had the severest case. Charles' own case had drained him for nearly a week. Hunnicutt and Houlihan had nursed the camp through along with Kellye and Klinger. With 95 of the camp recovered, the caretakers fell ill. BJ was the last to catch it.

"Still feverish," Pierce said. He looked at Charles.

Charles checked BJ's chart. "He's stable. It's just the flu, Pierce. Go get some food."

Potter entered. "How is he?"

"Sick," Hawkeye said, standing up. "I just love spring in Korea. Flowers, birds, Korean flu."

"Come on over here." Potter pulled Pierce and Winchester to the side. "I just got a call from the 8063rd. Two day surgeon exchange. You two leave in the morning."

"What about BJ?" Hawkeye demanded

"Don't be ridiculous, Pierce, he's too sick to go." Potter grinned at Hawkeye's astonished look. "I'm kidding. He'll be fine. I'll be here, remember?"

Pierce sighed. "All right." He looked over his shoulder at BJ's cot.

"He'll be fine." Potter shoved Hawkeye's shoulder. "Get some rest. You, too, Winchester. I'll cover tonight."

Hawkeye checked BJ one more time, snuck a quick caress on BJ's limp hand. BJ opened fever glazed eyes. "Night," Hawkeye murmured. BJ smiled weakly and closed his eyes.

"Night, Hawk," he whispered. Hawkeye wiped BJ's face and headed for the Swamp.

The next day, Hawkeye and Winchester left after Hawkeye checked BJ. Potter touched BJ's shoulder and BJ started. "I'll help," he rasped and struggled to sit up.

"Don't be absurd, Hunnicutt." Potter pushed BJ back down. "You're barely able to move."

BJ nodded and sank back.

----

Potter greeted the two exchange surgeons amiably. Captain Jackson was a tall, lanky brunette with brown eyes and a long face with a wise smile. Major Schneider was a short, fussy black haired man with an impeccable uniform and gray eyes. Potter showed them Post Op. "Most of the people here are mine," he said. "Flu victims. Dr. Hunnicutt is the last to catch it and is still pretty sick."

"Is he jaundiced?" Major Schneider bent over BJ and checked BJ's eyes. BJ swatted feebly at his hand and Potter laid a hand on Schneider's shoulder.

"Hunnicutt is a rotten patient like all doctors," Potter said. "Come on." They walked along the row.

In the next cot, Klinger sat up and looked at BJ. "Captain?"

"Hmm?"

"Thirsty?"

BJ nodded. Klinger called for Nurse Able and the nurse brought BJ water. BJ sipped slowly. "Thank you," he uttered.

"You're welcome, Doctor." She touched his forehead.

"How is he?" Klinger asked.

"Still feverish." Able frowned. "Are you hungry, Doctor?"

BJ shook his head. Able smiled and refilled the glass. She left and BJ finished the water.

"Thanks, Klinger," he muttered.

Klinger nodded. BJ's voice, jagged and raw, sounded horrible. He curled into a ball and closed his eyes. Bored, Klinger watched the doctor. Soon he, too, fell asleep.

Shelling woke him as the hospital shook. He looked around fuzzily, watching the nurses and medics scurry. "Sir, what's happening?" he asked Jackson, who ran Post Op that night.

Jackson jerked as a mortar round went off. "Just some shelling." He looked at Klinger. "You're company clerk right?" Klinger nodded. "Do you feel well enough to make some phone calls?"

Klinger nodded and he slowly stood up. He walked to his office and began calling.

Potter joined him. "Are you sure you should be up, son?" he asked.

"I'm all right, sir."

He made a few calls. Then he called the 8063rd. Potter winced as shells went off again. "They're being shelled, too, sir," Klinger said.

"Wonderful. How are Pierce and Winchester?" An explosion rocked the building. "Damn it!" Potter swore.

"Pierce and Winchester are heading back, sir!" Klinger exclaimed. "They're bugging out!"

Another explosion. "What?" Potter yelled.

"They're gone, sir!"

Captain Jackson swept into the office. "Colonel, we have some wounded. That last mortar shell hit one of the outbuildings."

"Bring them to Pre-op. I'm on my way."

Potter headed to Pre-Op. Jackson looked at Klinger. "Are your surgeons really gone?" he asked quietly.

Klinger nodded. "Shelling," he said. "You'll be lucky if a tent is standing when you go home."

"I'm sorry," Jackson awkwardly said.

Klinger nodded, feeling the blood drain from his face. "I better tell Captain Hunnicutt." He stood and swayed on his feet.

Jackson steered him to his bed. "I'll tell Hunnicutt. You rest." His eyes softened. "I'm sorry."

"Thanks." Klinger laid down, head swimming.

Jackson covered the pale company clerk and headed into Post Op. He headed for Captain Hunnicutt's bedside. The ashen Captain looked at him, twitching as another shell went off. "How are you feeling?" Jackson asked. Hunnicutt shrugged. Jackson cocked his head. The flu weakened man kept flinching as shells went off. "Are you hungry?"

Hunnicutt shook his head. "Thirsty," he whispered brokenly. Jackson gave him a glass of water. As Hunnicutt drank, another shell went off and water slopped onto the cot as he jerked.

"It's going to be fine," Jackson soothed. He inhaled. "Captain, your company clerk just received some bad news." The glassy gaze sharpened. "Your Pierce and Winchester?" Hunnicutt nodded. "They're--gone, sir. The 8063rd was being shelled as well and--" He stopped.

Shocked eyes studied him and then Hunnicutt shoved the glass in his hands. Fat tears spilled down the fever flushed cheeks. Jackson awkwardly touched Hunnicutt's arm. After a few minutes of mute weeping, Hunnicutt moved his lips. "Daniel," he rasped in a barely distinguishable tone . "I--call Daniel. Honoria."

"I don't understand, Captain."

Hunnicutt fought to get up but fell back gasping. He tapped the notebook in Jackson's pocket and Jackson handed him the notebook and pen. Hunnicutt scribbled two names. _Daniel. Honoria. I need to call._

"In the morning, Captain. I'm sorry." Hunnicutt shook his head, tears still falling. Scribbled a word. _Now. _Jackson spread his hands. "I'll get Klinger to call and then get you. Rest, all right?"

Hunnicutt fell back and Jackson went to see Klinger. He laid the notebook on Klinger's desk and checked the clerk again. Then he returned to Post Op where he ordered a sedative for Dr. Hunnicutt.

---------------------

Charles Winchester snorted as he stepped into the 4077th's office. He looked around. Klinger grinned at him. "Good morning, Major," he greeted.

"What's good about it?"

"You're home now."

"This cesspool is hardly home." Winchester looked around. "Where's the Colonel?"

"Sleeping. We had heavy shelling, a few injuries. We heard you guys got hit, too."

"Yes." He studied Klinger. "You look well."

"I'm better." Klinger looked around. "Where's Captain Pierce?"

"He's a little behind me. He got a patient at the last minute." Winchester shook himself. "I need a shower and breakfast. Kindly inform the Colonel, whenever he deigns to grace you with his presence, that I'm back and not to be disturbed."

"Of course, your Royal Majorness."

Charles looked at Klinger's desk. "What's this?" he demanded.

"What?"

"This note. 'Daniel. Honoria. I need to call.' What are you mean, calling my sister, you lecherous Lebanese?"

"Hey, I don't know what it means." Klinger squinted at the writing. "Isn't that Captain Hunnicutt's writing?"

"You may be right. How is Hunnicutt?"

"Still ill."

"Is he talking?"

"Some."

Winchester walked into Post-Op. A short doctor bustled past him and Winchester made a bee line for Hunnicutt's bed. He inhaled sharply. Canvas restraints held Hunnicutt down and frequent shudders racked his body. "My God! Nurse!" Winchester pulled off the restraints and checked Hunnicutt's eyes. Dilated pupils told of sedation. "Nurse!":

Nurse Baker gaped at him then hurried to his side, staring at him with huge eyes.

"What is going on with Hunnicutt? He has the flu!"

"Is there a problem?" The short doctor glared at Charles. "What are you doing?"

"What am _I _doing? Why is this man tied down?" Winchester scanned the charts. "You restrained him for chills?"

"For violent tremors! He was sedated and still trembled. To keep him controlled, I ordered him restrained. Who are you?"

"I'm Doctor Winchester, you medical moron! Who sedates for the flu?"

"I'm Dr. Schneider! Hunnicutt was distraught, his colleagues were killed in a shelling. The sedation was to let him rest."

"Did you even read his chart? Dr. Pierce ordered no restraints! And who is supposed to be dead?"

"You are, Doctor," Nurse Baker softly said. "Dr. Jackson informed us you and Dr. Pierce was dead."

"What?" Winchester clenched his hands. "And Hunnicutt was told this?"

"First thing," Baker said. "Last night."

Winchester hissed and advanced on Schneider. A gasp made him turn to Hunnicutt. "Get out," he spat over his shoulder. "Nurse, wake Colonel Potter and keep this--imbecile from Dr. Hunnicutt at all times."

"You can't--" Schneider sputtered.

"Get out," Winchester yelled. Fury boiled through his veins as he looked down at Hunnicutt. As irritating as the other doctor could be, Hunnicutt was his colleague and friend. As Baker and Schneider left, Charles sat next to Hunnicutt. Gently he shook BJ's shoulder.

Glassy, flat eyes opened and rolled woodenly to him. "BJ, it's Charles," Charles quietly said. "It's all right now." Leaden blue orbs stared at him. "BJ, do you hear me?" A flicker of recognition followed by a flash of terror. The shaking increased. Winchester mentally cursed and kept talking. "Everyone's all right, BJ. I'm alive. So's Hawkeye."

Hunnicutt's respiration increased and he struggled feebly under Charles's hand. Charles recognized the fight as one of intellect versus sedation. The dullness was being replaced by longer and longer glitters of awakenings. As Charles talked, BJ kept watching him, occasionally shaking his head. "Winchester, what's going on?" Potter's voice echoed. "Holy Hannah, what's with Hunnicutt?"

BJ turned his head to look at the Colonel, his eyes unclouded for the first time. Then he looked back at Winchester and Charles felt fingers fumble at his arm. Charles smiled. "Yes, it's me," he said in response to Hunnicutt's questioning look and touch. "Despite what our visiting veterinarians told you, Pierce and I are fine."

Charles felt BJ's fingers tighten. Tears glittered in BJ's eyes and Charles patted BJ's shoulder, touched beyond words. "Rest," he ordered. He stood up. "Colonel, can we speak in your office?" He gestured to Nurse Baker. "Please watch Dr. Hunnicutt and bring him something to eat."

"Of course, Doctor."

In Potter's office, Charles practically blistered the walls with his condemnation and contempt. Schneider and Jackson argued and Potter finally held up a hand. "Enough," he said. "Let me get this straight. Dr. Jackson, are you saying Klinger told you Drs. Pierce and Winchester were killed?"

"Yes," Jackson replied.

"And you, of course, didn't inquire further?" Winchester demanded.

"Klinger!" Potter's voice raised only slightly but Klinger appeared almost immediately.

"Sir?"

"You all right?"

"Feeling pretty good, sir. What's all the yelling about?"

"Did you tell Doctor Jackson Dr. Winchester and Dr. Pierce were dead?"

"What? No, sir!"

"I asked if they were dead and you said yes!" Jackson protested.

"You asked if they were gone and I said yes. They were gone from the 8063rd. I never said they were dead!"

"It was all a misunderstanding," Schneider said.

"You told Dr. Hunnicutt his colleagues were dead plus you sedated and restrained him without even reading his chart," Winchester spat.

"God, Charles, you can be heard all across the camp." A weary Hawkeye sauntered into the office. "Hiya Colonel."

"You look tired."

"Shelling does that." He looked at the two surgeons. "Hi, I'm Hawkeye."

"Drs. Schneider and Jackson," Potter sighed. "Pierce, check on Hunnicutt."

"BJ's worse?"

"These two esteemed doctors determined that Hunnicutt's chills could be treated with restraints and sedation," Winchester sneered.

"Restraints?" Pierce echoed. His face paled. "You didn't tie him down?"

"His chills were violent," Schneider defended.

"I ordered no restraints!" Pierce darted off, heading for Post Op.

BJ jerked as he came in, an incredulous smile curving his lips. A tray sat on his lap, holding a near empty bowl of soup and a few crackers. Hawkeye leaned over him and hugged him roughly.

"You're alive." BJ's voice was no more than a breath.

Hawkeye jerked. "Always try to be." He sat next to BJ. "You aren't eating?" BJ shrugged and picked up his spoon. Hawkeye checked BJ's cheek and was relieved to find it sweaty and cooler. "Fever's breaking. How do you feel?"

"Better now." BJ rubbed his throat.

"Don't talk." Hawkeye ran his fingers over BJ's throat. "Can you stand?" BJ nodded, finishing his soup. Hawkeye grasped BJ's arm and helped him to his feet.

BJ leaned against him as they walked through Post Op. Hawkeye took him to the Swamp. "Shower," BJ mumbled.

"Later. I'm exhausted."

BJ sank into his cot and Hawkeye covered him with blankets. Hawkeye caressed BJ's sweaty neck and fell into his cot. "Glad you're alive," BJ choked out.

"Me, too."

"Kiss you later."

"Only if you're not contagious. Go to sleep, BJ."


	22. Chapter 22

_**Breaking Point Chapter 22**_

Hawkeye woke to see Charles shaking BJ cautiously. "Hey," he mumbled. "Didn't you learn your lesson last time?"

He stumbled to BJ's side. BJ jerked and Charles backed up.

"He was shaking," Charles explained.

"Uh huh." Hawkeye laid his hand on BJ's forehead. "Fever's gone."

"I'm all right," BJ mumbled. "Thanks." He grasped Hawkeye's arm,stood up practically in Hawkeye's embrace. Hawkeye gave him a rough pat on his shoulder, handed him his robe, and BJ gathered his shower gear.

"Your note," Charles started. "Who's Daniel?"

"Hawk's dad." BJ's voice wavered. He rubbed his throat. "Honoria. I planned on calling them, telling them you were gone." He exhaled noisily. "Better than just a telegram."

"That's very decent of you." Charles studied Hunnicutt. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

"Hey, who said we were dead?" Hawkeye sputtered. BJ quickly explained in his scratchy voice and Hawkeye's hands clenched. Charles caught his eye and Hawkeye looked away. They all turned as the door opened. Potter stepped into the Swamp, looked at his surgeons. "Colonel," Hawkeye greeted.

"Hello. Hunnicutt, are you all right?" BJ nodded. "Good. There's a major push coming and we'll need everyone."

"Damn," Hawkeye swore.

"I better shower now." BJ coughed, a sharp spasm. Potter eyed him.

"You sure you're all right?"

"Have to be, don't I?" BJ smiled. "I'm not jaundiced, I'm not nauseous. I'll be fine."

Potter nodded. "Eat and rest everyone."

After he left, Hawkeye looked at BJ. "If you're ill," he started.

"Hawk, I'm fine. Besides. you operated through a flu epidemic. I can, too."

"When?" Charles asked.

"And how do you know?" Hawkeye continued.

"I talk to people, Hawkeye. It was when Trapper was here." BJ's voice seemed to rasp more over the word Trapper than any other in the sentence. Hawkeye mentally winced. He knew BJ disliked Trapper but it seemed so ridiculous. BJ never even met Trapper but BJ's jealous streak ran wide.

"If you're contagious, Hunnicutt, you won't do our patients any good."

"I'm fine, Charles. Just a little weak and hungry."

BJ headed for the showers and Hawkeye watched him leave. "He's still thin," Charles said quietly. Hawkeye looked at him, eyebrows raised. Charles snorted. "I'm a doctor, Pierce. Hunnicutt is obnoxious, childish, but he is a colleague and has demonstrated courtesy at times." He eyeballed Hawkeye. "Has he spoken to Dr. Freedman?"

"Yes. Sidney cleared him."

"Is he fine?"

"He has nightmares, Charles, that's it." Hawkeye yawned. "Don't we all?"

Klinger strolled into the Swamp. "Mail call," he said. "Two for you, Hawkeye, two for Captain Hunnicutt, and a package and letter for Major Winchester."

"It's about time," Winchester growled. "We've been without mail for two and a half weeks."

"Complain to Command, Major. They're in charge of the mail."

"Just give me my mail, lout."

Hawkeye opened his letters eagerly.

_Dear Son:_

_Hello! Everything is fine here, son. Spring is slowly coming. Flowers are starting to grow and with spring comes all the joy of flu, sprained ankles, and pregnancies..._

Hawkeye grinned at his dad's recitations and Crabapple Cove news. As he read the letter, a small part caught his attention. _We had recruiters from the Armed Forces here the other day. One was talking to Tess's boy, Nathan. I told him he was too smart to head off to war without at least going to college and checking out options there. The one recruiter was an attractive woman with thick black hair and a lovely smile. She mentioned the fight against Communism and how even doctors could be Communists._ _ After all, there are doctors out in Korea treating the North Koreans and Chinese better than our boys. She started asking about the people in town and everyone shut up. She was very pretty, however. I just felt bad hearing her discuss the threat of Communists and how some of our boys were Commie threats, including doctors. Watch yourself, Hawkeye. These people are crazy fanatics..._

_Dearest brother Charles:_

_Hello! How are you? Mother, Father, and I went to a wonderful symphony last week. How I wished you could have been there!..._

_The oddest thing did happen. We ran into a splendid woman named Elaine who mentioned, by chance, that she'd met a Charles Winchester in Korea. Mother and I were so excited and Father grossly proud as she extolled your virtues. Yet, as we talked, she mentioned the near radical leanings of some of your colleagues. Please be careful, darling Charles. Politics is intriguing but can be dangerous. As Elaine spoke, she revealed herself as a bit of a zealot. While I understand the Communist threat, I do believe she is exaggerating. Your companions sound a bit high spirited and crass but not evil. I look forward to meeting them, especially Dr. Pierce. The O'Riellys sent us a few photographs from Walter's collection and Dr. Pierce seems devilishly handsome..._

Charles gave a low groan. "What are you mooing for, Charles?" Hawkeye absently asked.

"My dear sister met some lunatic who claimed she met me. Some rabid Anti Communist, I can only assume."

Hawkeye straightened. "You, too? My dad says he met someone like that."

Charles put down his letter. "That seems peculiar." He walked over to BJ's bed and picked the letters Klinger placed on BJ's cot. "What are you doing, Charles?" Hawkeye snapped.

"From Peg Hunnicutt and Dr. Jay Hunnicutt." Charles looked at Hawkeye. "Is that Hunnicutt's father?"

"Yes but he never writes." Hawkeye stood up. "BJ's been here forever and neither of his parents have ever written." He shrugged, took the letter from Charles' hands.

"That's a bit odd, isn't it? Hunnicutt always chatters on about happy families." Charles tilted his head. "He's never mentioned his parents. To be frank, I always thought they were dead."

"No one's family is perfect." Hawkeye caressed the envelope. Charles frowned and Hawkeye put the letter back. "He'll tell us if he wants us to know."

BJ returned, clean shaven and wet haired. Hawkeye and Charles each carefully watched him as he read his letters. Charles looked at him. "Problems?" he drawled.

"No," BJ curtly said. He tossed his letters aside. "I'm getting some food. Hawk, you coming?"

"Why not? I can finally find out where you actually get food."

The two walked off. Charles watched them leave then casually picked up Hunnicutt's letters. He knew he was being ill mannered but he was curious. He lifted Peg's letter first. Scanning it quickly, he rolled his eyes and placed it aside. The only interesting part was Peg's mention of someone named Leo.

..._Darling, it's so wonderful that Leo lives near us now. It is sad about his divorce but his practice is doing well. He checks on Erin and I often and has helped me around the house sometimes. When you return, it'll be so nice for both of you. ..._

The next letter made Charles' eyebrows raise.

_Dear Son,_

_We're doing fine here. You should know, however, that a woman recently stopped by my practice and told me she'd met you. She mentioned you two were close and that she'd wanted to met the father of her friend. While you are a long way from home and certainly entitled to a dalliance now and then, discretion is vital. Please choose your companions carefully. Proper associates need to be tightlipped. Follow my example to never bring shame on our name and to project the proper image._

_I can't presume to know what you are going through over there. Hopefully you can utilize the skills you're learning when you return. Your wife told your mother and I that, according to you, your Chief Surgeon is brilliant. Perhaps he can give you inspiration and pointers. _

_Be careful. We'll celebrate when you return._

_Sincerely,_

_Father _

Charles carefully placed the letters down. _Hunnicutt's father sounds somewhat like mine. That letter was as warm as snow. And who is this woman? Hunnicutt doesn't even look much at women and he practically worships at the Peg shrine. But who's to say his family is happy? No one knows Peg. BJ's happy family life could be all a sham._

_---------------------_

BJ and Hawkeye ate breakfast. Hawkeye watched his companion (_lover, _his mind whispered). BJ moodily stirred his oatmeal. "Are you done?" Hawkeye finally asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Done. Brooding, I mean. What's in the letters?"

"My father wrote me. Said some woman friend of mine came around his practice. I was told to be more discreet."

BJ took a bite of his oatmeal. "Peg says everything's fine." He dropped his hand and squeezed Hawkeye's knee.

Hawkeye stiffened, especially in his groin, and hissed softly.

"Unless you plan on joining me in the supply tent in five minutes, stop it."

BJ's fingers stroked up Hawkeye's knee and thigh, danced over his leg, making Hawkeye's pants tighten. Then BJ removed his hand and began eating again. Hawkeye glared at him. "Supply tent," he growled in BJ's ear. "Now."

"I'll think about," BJ carelessly said. A smile flickered around his lips.

"_Now!" _Hawkeye's voice dropped an octave lower and he felt BJ shiver next to him. He looked at BJ, watched his pupils dilate slightly. BJ swallowed hard and calmly set his tray aside.

"I'll go there first," BJ muttered. "See you in five."

BJ left and Hawkeye slowly finished his coffee, waiting for his erection to go down. Mentally he swore he'd make BJ pay for teasing him like this. Pay in some of the most pleasurable ways possible.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Breaking Point Chapter 23**_

Charles leaned back and listened to his music. As the soothing notes played, his thoughts spun in sparkling circles. _Why didn't BJ ever talk about his parents? He spoke of his wife and child endlessly but never his parents. While Pierce talked of his father and his hometown and Charles himself spoke of his family and Boston and Martha's Vineyard, BJ never really talked of where he was from. Just Mill Valley or San Francisco. Did Hunnicutt's experience with Flagg and Erica have anything to do with the mysterious Elaine? And why was Pierce's father and Hunnicutt's father contacted? Did Hunnicutt have an affair?_

Charles had observed Hunnicutt enough (from sheer boredom) to know the lanky Californian enjoyed playing golf and adored fishing. Yet since Hunnicutt rarely was as annoying as Pierce, Charles found it easy to overlook him. He couldn't overlook him much since Pierce and Hunnicutt were practically in each other's pockets but Hunnicutt could be ignored.

Charles sighed and sat up. Pierce entered the Swamp, grabbed his and Hunnicutt's shower gear, and left. Charles' brow furrowed. Hunnicutt had showered earlier... He grabbed his shower gear and went in search of the two. In the shower, both the ruffians were soaping and Pierce was singing. Hunnicutt looked at him. "Problems, Charles?"

"I thought you showered earlier."

"I fell down."

"Graceful as ever," Charles snorted.

Hunnicutt shrugged and rinsed. He pulled on his robe and towel dried his hair. Pierce followed suit, now whistling. As Pierce shrugged on his red robe, Charles noted faint bite marks across Pierce's chest. Nothing new for the Casanova of the 4077th. "Pierce, as usual, your tomcatting reaches new lows."

"What?"  
"You're practically a doxy."

BJ smirked and Hawkeye rolled his eyes. "Beats being a stuck up boor," he muttered.

"On that note, I'm off to grab some more sleep before we're deluged." Hunnicutt left and Pierce followed. Charles showered, contemplating romance and affairs.

-------------

BJ chortled all the way to the Swamp. "Doxy."

"I'm not the only floozy here, fella."

"True. There is Klinger." BJ's eyes gleamed.

At the Swamp, BJ kissed Hawkeye long and slow then laid down on his cot. Hawkeye tossed a blanket over him and laid down as well. Yet, unlike his lover, he couldn't sleep. He stood up, stroked BJ along his shoulder, and walked around the camp. The spring sun warmed him and he watched the camp. Fr. Mulcahy weeded his sprouting garden and Potter exercised Sophie. "Penny for your thoughts, Captain."

Hawkeye turned to find Klinger watching him. "Hey, Klinger. How big a push are we expecting?"

"Pretty big. All the MASH units are being warned and a supply truck is coming on later today. Is BJ all right?"

"Yeah, He's sleeping to prepare for the push."

"Good idea. Is his voice back? He sounded horrible."

"Well he's not ready for opera yet. Why aren't you doing something company clerkish?"

"His Majorness is in the office. He called home."

Hawkeye raised his eyebrows. "Is everything all right?"

"As far as I know. He didn't seem upset or anything."

Colonel Potter trotted Sophie towards them. "Hey, gents. Thought you might be getting some rest, Hawkeye."

"Look who's talking. I just thought I'd walk a bit. 'Sides, BJ was the sick one."

"Is he all right?" Potter dismounted and patted Sophie.

"Seems all right." Hawkeye patted Sophie's neck awkwardly. They all turned as the supply truck turned into the camp.

"They're early. I'll take Sophie back to her stable. Klinger, get the truck unloaded."

"Gotcha, sir."

Hawkeye assisted unloading the truck and then returned to the Swamp. He hated waiting, always straining unconsciously to hear choppers. In the Swamp, BJ slept peacefully. Charles entered the Swamp. He eyed Hawkeye and poured two glasses of cognac. Silently he handed Hawkeye one and jerked his head to the door. Hawkeye shrugged and stood. They walked outside and Hawkeye took a swallow. "What's up Charles?"

"It appears Hunnicutt's little escapade with our favorite CIA personnel has caused them to take an interest in our families." Charles drank slowly. "My father is contacting a few Senators we know." He looked at Hawkeye. "What did your father say?"

"Just for me to watch myself."

"Good advice."

Hawkeye drank again. "I don't get it," he stated. "Why such an interest in BJ? He may have 'helped a Communist' but a lot of us have by simply saving their lives."

"It appears Hunnicutt aggravated Flagg and Wainwright quite badly." Charles finished his cognac. "Why they are now turning on us?"

"Because BJ's a friend."

"Colleague," Charles corrected.

"He's my best friend," Hawkeye snapped. _And my lover, my heart, and sanity._

"And now everyone has to pay the price," Charles retorted.

"He didn't do anything wrong! He helped a girl escape some jerks determined to beat her bloody. It was the right thing to do!"

"Why not simply tell Wainwright and Flagg where she was?!"

"Because it would be wrong, Charles! He suffered Flagg beating him to a pulp as well as Wainwright getting friendly with a knife just to protect her! It's more than you would do!" He exhaled. "Or me."

"Pierce, it's my family!"

"And mine, too. What should he have---" Hawkeye stopped suddenly and stared at the sky. "Choppers!"

**Attention all personnel! The push has come to shove and early! All medical personnel to the compound**!!

Hawkeye swore, gulped his cognac, and shoved the glass at Charles. BJ ran past and Hawkeye fell in beside him. Soon they were elbow deep in patients. The banter flowed easily despite BJ's scratchy voice. "We have a lot of Chinese in this batch," Potter commented.

"Take out Chinese," Hawkeye quipped.

BJ snickered and Margaret groaned. As the hours passed, Hawkeye watched BJ closely for any sign of illness. BJ finally simply winked at him and Hawkeye laughed.

"Swallow a feather, Hawkeye?" Potter asked.

"Just the canary." Hawkeye finished his patient and Kellye swabbed his brow. "Corpsman!"

"You bellowed, Captain?"

"Bring me the next one, Klinger."

"That's it, Dr."

"Really? Free hands, everyone."

"Come look at this one," Potter ordered. Hawkeye joined him and they began working together. BJ finished soon after.

"Charles, you all right?" he asked.

"Fine, Hunnicutt, just closing." BJ walked to Hawkeye and Potter.

"You all right?" Potter asked.

BJ looked at him. "I'm fine."

"With all these Chinese, I expect our famous friendly psycho to stop by." Potter eyed BJ.

"Colonel!" Margaret sniffed. "You can't mean Colonel Flagg. I admit he's a little zealous..."

"A little zealous?" Hawkeye echoed. "That's like saying Hitler was a little crazy."

"Maybe we can do a prisoner exchange," BJ suggested.

"I was just thinking that." Potter checked the patient's liver. "Go rest, Hunnicutt. You still look peaked."

BJ shrugged and he left the OR, following Winchester. When Potter and Hawkeye came out, BJ sat on the bench, talking to Fr. Mulcahy. Hawkeye looked at them. "Hearing confessions Father?"

Mulcahy laughed. "I was telling BJ about my recent letter, My sister the sister actually got a visit from a gentleman inquiring about Communists."

Hawkeye hoped his face didn't bleach as Potter said "That's funny. Mildred mentioned something similar." Hawkeye glanced at BJ. BJ had his eyes closed. When he opened them, the tormented look made Hawkeye go immediately to his side. Potter looked at both of them. "Hunnicutt?" Potter inquired.

"Can I talk to you?" BJ asked.

"Sure." Potter gestured towards his office. BJ headed toward his office and Hawkeye started to follow. Potter touched his arm. "Give us a second, son."

In the office, BJ sighed. "Colonel, I think I'm the reason someone went to see Mildred," he admitted.

Potter poured a glass of whiskey and handed it to BJ, then poured on for himself. "That so?" he mildly asked.

BJ stared into the liquid, swirled it absently then swallowed it in one gulp. Potter raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure it's because of Wainwright and Flagg. Colonel, I know what I did. My choice shouldn't affect you or your family or anyone else. Mulcahy, you, Hawk's dad, and Winchester's family have all been contacted. I overheard Hawkeye and Charles talking. There is a definite threat. I'm thinking it'd be best for everyone if I--" He inhaled. "if I transferred. Battlion Aid always needs surgeons and you and the rest of the camp would be safe."

Potter eyed him. "You done?"

"Yes."

"Mule fritters! You're a smart man, Hunnicutt, but now you're being an ass! I need you here, damn it, and you need to stop taking so much blame for this. You did the right thing--you acted like a good man. I know there's problems back home but you aren't responsible." Potter leaned forward. "So get this clear. You're here until you rotate home or this war ends! And if Flagg thinks he can tangle with my family, he's got another thing coming. I've licked the kaiser, nazis, and I'll be danged if some idiotic witch hunter chases away my doctors or family!"

BJ blinked. Potter poured him another double shot and BJ sipped slowly. "Thanks," BJ said.

"You're welcome. Come in, Pierce."

BJ turned as Hawkeye swept in. Potter handed him a glass and Hawkeye grinned. "Thanks." He took a gulp. "I was going to come in screaming but you already did that." He glared at BJ. "Idiot."

"Hawk, I just thought--your dad---" BJ spread his hands helplessly.

"You are such a martyr!"

BJ frowned but his cheeks reddened. "All right," he muttered.

"Meet you at the Officer's Club."

Hawkeye and BJ walked to the club, hips brushing. "You really were going to go?" Hawkeye whispered.

BJ stopped and pulled Hawkeye aside into the shadow. In the inky night, he could barely see Hawkeye's face. "I want you safe," he grated. "Your dad safe."

Cool fingers on his neck, lips brushing his. "Stop protecting me," Hawkeye stated. "We're here--together. All right?"

BJ nodded and Hawkeye deepened the kiss, tasting Scotch.

"Together, huh?" BJ gasped as the kiss broke.

"You bet. Me and you." At that, BJ smiled brilliantly and Hawkeye's heart melted. "Let's go, Beej."


	24. Chapter 24

_**Breaking Point Chapter 24**_

BJ jerked awake, shudders running down his back. The stillness told him it was very late or very early. He looked around. Charles and Hawkeye slept and BJ shivered. Spring or not, this night was cold and he slowly stood up, moving as quietly as he could. Outside the Swamp, he curled in the chair, wrapped in his blanket. The stars hung bright and clear and BJ watched the stars, mentally berating himself. He hadn't had nightmares for awhile--in fact, everything had been as normal as possible for the 4077th. He'd been needed to keep Hawkeye on a somewhat even keel and he loved that. Hawkeye needed him. So why was tonight a bad one? Fretting and angry, he finally fell asleep, blanket over his shoulders.

The nightmare began slowly as usual. Black spirals mixed with red, flashes of pain and hazel eyes. Flagg's breath rasped in his ears, Wainwright's nails bit deep. Calloused fingers dug into his skin, blood trickled, and the icy void beckoned again, the void he dreaded yet sometimes longed for. Hawkeye, fragile, genius Hawkeye was his bulwark, his wall against the terrors, the memories of pained flesh and even more aching soul. Dimly he heard Hawkeye's voice.

"BJ! BJ!" BJ blinked. Hawkeye shook his shoulder, hands almost burning. BJ looked up and Hawkeye pulled him close. "You're freezing! What are you doing out here?"

"Nightmare." BJ started shivering again. "Didn't want to wake you."

"Wake me! You've helped me through my nightmares often enough." Hawkeye pulled BJ to his feet. "Come on."

Inside the Swamp, Hawkeye fired up the stove and huddled with BJ near it. BJ trembled in his arms, constantly watching Charles. Hawkeye stroked BJ's back. After around ten minutes, BJ's shaking stopped. "What do you dream?" Hawkeye asked softly.

BJ stared into the stove, watched the fire. "The abyss." He watched the flames flicker. "The torture. The smell of her perfume, the feel of blood down my chest, the sound of Flagg grunting when he...well, mainly the void. Sometimes it beckons. I wonder what it'd feel like to dive in. Other times, I know what would happen. I'd go mad." He stretched his neck. "Sometimes that sounds like a good idea." He smiled at Hawkeye. "Thankfully, I have you."

Hawkeye caressed BJ's shoulder then drew him into his arms. BJ laid his head on his shoulder, breathed in his scent. "Here I thought I was the crazy one," Hawkeye quipped. BJ chuckled.

"Sorry I woke you."

"Anytime, Beej."

Hawkeye held him close. The younger man wrapped his arms around his waist. BJ closed his eyes and rubbed his smooth cheek against Hawkeye's neck. No matter what nowadays, BJ showered and shaved. He could be coming off a 24 hour OR stint, be falling down exhausted, but he would stumble to the shower and wash and shave. Hawkeye took a deep breath. BJ smelled of the minty shaving cream he used and the clean scents of shampoo and soap. Hawkeye felt BJ's fingers splay over his back. Hawkeye kissed his forehead and BJ opened his eyes with a smile. "Thanks Hawkeye."

"I know the void, Beej. Anytime it beckons, hell, anytime anything beckons, wake me, all right? I don't want to lose you." Hawkeye tried to hide the terror in his voice.

BJ caressed his cheek "I don't want to lose you either. Don't Newcombe on me."

Hawkeye nodded. The memory of Dr. Stephen Newcombe still haunted all the doctors of the 4077th. Hawkeye quickly kissed BJ. "Let's get some sleep."

In their separate cots, they each laid awake until BJ grumbled and settled in the chair next to Hawkeye where he reached out and clasped Hawkeye's hand.

--------------------------

Charles woke first as he often did. He looked around at his tentmates and found Hunnicutt sleeping with a hand on Pierce's cot. The position looked uncomfortable. He watched his tent mates briefly. He moved and Hunnicutt's eyes opened. The chilly gaze made Charles step back one step. "Just going to my shift," he murmured.

Hunnicutt nodded and watched him. Charles dressed, feeling prickles run up and down his spine. He turned to go. Hunnicutt watched him with that flat stare, so reminiscent of a snake. Charles left quickly. In the Mess Tent, he ate his breakfast. He hated Hunnicutt when he looked like an ice statue, when those blue eyes turned diamond hard and lost any trace of humanity. Pierce was always passionate, always emotional. Even when upset or worn out, he fairly sparkled with life. While mellow and easy going, Hunnicutt had never had this stillness, this predatory motionlessness before.

"Margaret, please sit," he offered.

Major Houlihan sat down. "Thank you, Major. The two degenerates couldn't bother to wake up?"

"They are embalmed as usual." Charles sipped his coffee. "Margaret, you've known Hunnicutt longer than I. Is he acting odd lately?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just what I asked. Does he seem odd?"

Margaret shrugged. "He seems his typical 12 year old self. Why?"

"You don't think he had an affair recently, do you?"

Margaret started laughing. "BJ? Our BJ? Never. He's one man who knows what a vow is and keeps it." She eyed him slyly. "Didn't your little experiment teach you anything?"

"He's just acting a bit odd."

"How?"

Charles frowned. "He's bitter. Harsh."

Margaret stirred her coffee. "He seems fine. He hasn't acted angry. Just the usual tomfoolery. Just last week he and Pierce tried to make my underclothing into a camp flag. He is just over the flu. Maybe he's still weak."

"That doesn't explain his continual temper."

"I don't know what you mean." Margaret brushed back her hair. "Has he yelled at you, Charles?" Her blue eyes sparkled.

"He's just different." Charles sighed in frustration. "He's--harder. He's like a pacing tiger."

Margaret smiled indulgently. "BJ's more of a pussycat."

"Not unless pussycats have five inch claws and six inch fangs."

"Charles, just what does he do?"

Charles struggled to explain. "His--eyes. There's something there. God, I know I sound like a fool but there's something different there. Like a rabid dog." He slapped the table. "That's it. I had a hunting dog that tasted blood once and he got that gleam in his eyes."

"What did you do?"

"My father shot him." Charles finished his coffee.

"I hope you don't plan on shooting BJ because he's not bloodthirsty. BJ's one of the most decent men I know." Margaret drank her coffee.

Charles ground his teeth. He couldn't explain why Hunnicutt was different or why he even cared. But that look always bothered him, the sheer inhumanity. It was as if part of Hunnicutt had been torn away, lost. Charles finished his breakfast and hurried to Post Op. He mused over events as he checked patients. A gust of wind and Charles turned to find Flagg beside him. "Well, well, Colonel Flagg. Haven't you any other units to harass?"

"You don't worry about me. Where's your Commie comrade?"

"If you're looking for Communists, talk to the Chinese patients. If you're looking for Captain Hunnicutt, I'm not his keeper." Charles glanced at Flagg and then looked at him again. There, in Flagg's fiery eyes, he saw BJ's inhumanity, the alienness that so disturbed him.

"What are you staring at, Major?"

Pieces came together in Charles' brain. "You broke him," he murmured.

"What are you babbling about?" Flagg demanded.

"A funny thing, Colonel. A broken bone can heal stronger than it was originally." Charles wrote on a chart.

"How many of these are Hunnicutt's patients?"

"Why do you care, Colonel?" Potter stepped into the Post Op ward.

"He may be sending messages to the Chinese government."

"Buffalo bagels. Hunnicutt is not a Communist. Now come into my office."

Charles watched them leave and bit his lip. He had tried to understand Hunnicutt's torture, the nightmares, but finally realizing that Flagg's abuse had fractured something in BJ tore into his often buried compassion. It also raised his reluctant admiration. Charles hated and dreaded pain and he knew Pierce did as well. Hunnicutt was like Potter, enduring and stoic.

The smell of soap wafted to him and he turned as Hunnicutt and Pierce came into the ward. Charles swept forward. "You should go," he said. "Flagg is here."

Hunnicutt tensed then sighed as Pierce touched his arm. Then he headed for Potter's office. "Where are you going?" Charles demanded.

"To see Flagg. This is my place, not his."

"Beej, is this wise?"

Charles saw Hunnicutt's eyes soften, a gentleness and warmth entering his pale blue eyes as he glanced at Hawkeye. "I'll be fine, Hawk."

In Hawkeye's face, Charles read fear. BJ walked towards the office, Hawkeye trailing behind him and Charles following. Klinger typed as Hunnicutt came into the office. "Sir, you don't want to see the Colonel," Klinger stammered. "Not yet."

"I know Flagg's here."

Flagg came out of the office and BJ stepped forward, to stare the CIA officer in the eyes. For a long moment, they stared and BJ finally nodded. "This ends, Flagg," he quietly said.

"You're admitting you're a Commie?"

"No. I simply don't care about you anymore. Accuse me, beat me, I don't care. Just leave my patients and these people alone."

"And what do you plan on giving me?"

"Nothing," Hawkeye snapped.

"Either bring charges or don't. That's it."

"I will send you crying to your mama, you snivelling traitor."

"Give it your best shot."

Flagg glared, the coldness and sheer insanity making Charles inhale. BJ stared at him for long moments and then turned his back and left. "I'll be back, you Lenin lover."

"I'll be here, Flagg."

Hawkeye smiled and jogged after BJ. Charles watched as Hawkeye draped an arm over BJ's shoulders. The two doctors walked off.

At the minefield, Hawkeye looked at his lover and BJ smiled, eyes lighting. "Are you sure?"

"Hawk, I'm always going to have scars. But I can't stop Flagg or Wainwright." He exhaled. "And Flagg will be back, driving us crazy." He bent his head until his forehead touched Hawkeye's. "I'll have nightmares and shakes. But I'll be all right. As long as you're nearby." His eyes held shadows, fear, but most of all, deep love. "It's your choice."

Hawkeye placed both hands on BJ's face, studied those blue eyes which glowed with devotion. Instinctively, he knew what BJ was saying, the same questions he would ask. _Here I am. Scarred, broken, but yours. Do you, can you, take me as I am? _Hawkeye smiled_. I can't believe he thinks of these things, the idiot. Then again, I have my insecurities, too. _"I'm not going anywhere. I choose you," he whispered. "I love you."

This time, Hawkeye's cupped hands caught the tears.


End file.
